VN Ren'Py Abandoned A Kinky Couple [v0.01] [Ghoct]

[_NAMELESS_]

My precious ! ! !

 

[KenneX]

Based on in-game dialogues, it's a game mainly for harem and maledom fans. 1 blowjob scene with talking only about maledom kinks (despite many others planned) and I'm not into maledom. Very off-putting prologue for me, if you can choose what to avoid in the future, rewrite the prologue or add an option to skip it.

 

[m4pII]

Spoiler

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The first dialogue, and immediately the red flag))

 

[kinkiest life simulator]

Is this going to be a kinky 'couple' or will the wife spends most of the time cheering from the sidelines? Cause there seems to be a lot of that out there already. Just saying.
To be more specific, will the wife have sex with anyone besides her husband?

what games are u talking about..? only game I know that is somewhat similar is hotwife ashley

 

[meluna]

There is no ' Animated ' tag on your planed tag list , does that mean that you don`t want to do it or it is a possibility?

 

[GetOutOfMyLab]

Reading the description, I thought, "hey, this sounds like it might be fun", but then the "prologue" just drug on and on and on. I didn't even try to read all of the pointless babble. Working from home as a transcript editor, I see alot of stories come and go and the one thing I have learned is this.....

When you open a story the way you just did, you are basically telling the readers that this is how the story is going to go. While long and drawn out dialog might work for a book or short story, it does NOT work in an Adult VN where keeping the readers engaged is important. All you managed to do in my opinion is tell your readers not to expect anything more than click after click of pointless dialog that really goes nowhere. You also managed to kill your whole story in your prologue. You have left nothing for the readers to look forward to because you spent a hundred clicks telling them everything the wife wants to do and will as we know, get. You then gave us a cast of characters and their bios that when combined with the detailed explanation of how the story is going to go, will tell us who is going to do what and how.

In literature their are "rules" that make a great story what it is. You pretty much broke them all. Good Job!!

This was the point I was trying to get out, but yours is in a much more eloquent way. There is more value in the couple's exploration as new ideas and situations arise. Not only did we get mega spoilers, it also ruined the only sex scene.

 

[sokserey]

Ok.

 

[Swooosh]

Any news here?

 

[ahxjosu]

what happen?

 

[lemonfreak]

what happen?

Nothing happened, hence the abandoned tag