VN Ren'Py A Man for All [Ep.15] [Venus Waltz]

[VenusWaltz]

Thanks for the feedback, everybody.

Everybody has valid points and criticisms. I'm taking everything into consideration. I'm responding just because I want to let everybody know that their comments are not falling on deaf ears. I don't really like responding too often and I could go into more details but I'm biased and I don't want to sway opinions. Clearly not everything is working, so I'm always open to suggestions and I'm willing to make changes to improve whenever possible and reasonable. I know some things are working though, so I thanks to everybody just enjoying the game for what it is, too.

I wanted to let everybody know that I do have a plan for all of the characters. I have an outline for how things are plotted out. Using Vanessa as an example, I know how her story ends. I know the results of the modeling competition. I know the outcome of your relationship with her in the end. Everything is in there for a reason. The same goes for everybody else. I wanted to say that to give some peace of mind to have people who have their doubts and think I'm just making things up as I go along.

I appreciate the discussion, everybody. Thanks.

 

[Smarmint]

Hey Venus. Thanks for considering our thoughts. I think most of us enjoy the game and the characters. We just want to offer our suggestions how to make future updates even better, if you think they are valid based on the story you want to tell.

I am just suggesting some tweaks that I think would help. I am sure you have a plan for all of the characters, even the ice cold Vanessa and stand-offish Riley. I am all for slow burns. But there should be some sparks of interest, some teasing banter in their dialog, something to keep the interest of the player and make a future closer relationship with the MC and LI seem likely.

It is not about making the relationships happen faster necessarily. You can very successfully keep the slow burn going on for years of dev time. Look at Halfway House as an example, if you've ever played it. I has been in development for years, and the two main LIs are still not really together. But you can tell that the female LI has had interest in the MC from the beginning, with her cute insults, wanting to talk to him all the time, wanting to see what he is doing, standing close to him, little brushes of her hand when they are doing chores together, etc, etc. You get the idea.

If you keep 2 people together for a 2.5 years (game dev time) and they still don't seem to really like each other, have anything in common, or be interested in each other, it is not going to seem realistic or believable when you, via the future plot, put them together as a couple later in the game.

Plus, it is not fun as a player, to me at least, to see the MC pursuing several LIs with clearly no interest for update after update. It's not like the MC is living in a shelter with no women available. Why is he pursuing such cold and uninterested LIs when he has several around that actually like him? That is what I mean. The balance between the LIs is way off if you are trying to make each of them a future LI (or some combination), in the game future.

Plus, really, the most important improvement, in my opinion, like I mentioned earlier, is the dialog. Every line of dialog you write should have meaning, otherwise it is filler and should not be there. The player can tell. Pick up any decent novel off your shelf, and you can see that all dialog has meaning in a novel. Either it is about moving the story forward, bringing up other branches in the story, or revealing something about the characters for the reader. Its not about just making conversation to pass time until the next scene.

 

[VenusWaltz]

If you keep 2 people together for a 2.5 years (game dev time) and they still don't seem to really like each other, have anything in common, or be interested in each other, it is not going to seem realistic or believable when you, via the future plot, put them together as a couple later in the game.

Plus, it is not fun as a player, to me at least, to see the MC pursuing several LIs with clearly no interest for update after update. It's not like the MC is living in a shelter with no women available. Why is he pursuing such cold and uninterested LIs when he has several around that actually like him? That is what I mean. The balance between the LIs is way off if you are trying to make each of them a future LI (or some combination), in the game future.

This goes back to the part of my issue in knowing everything that's going to happen. I always keep these things in mind when I write for all of the characters. Their rationale makes sense to me. I've already laid the groundwork for the future. There are details in the dialogue and conversations that are sprinkled in that answer some of the questions you're asking. I haven't seen it mentioned or talked about before, so I'm assuming either people don't care, it's too subtle to notice and I didn't write it well enough, or it was just skipped over completely. But there are important details that have always been there that are hints and clues to speculate if you're looking for it. Unless I missed it, there was one conversation in particular I thought most people would find important but it hasn't been brought up here. I guess that's another issue of mine and my disconnect. I just don't like pointing things out specifically because it feels like I'm explaining and giving things away. I almost don't even want to mention it but since it's already in there, I figured I would mention it. I understand those who might be frustrated if it feels like you're just treading water until you get somewhere. I do keep this in mind even though it might not seem like it. The biggest thing I could do is to just keep working until I get to the destination.

 

[Phildrad]

This goes back to the part of my issue in knowing everything that's going to happen. I always keep these things in mind when I write for all of the characters. Their rationale makes sense to me. I've already laid the groundwork for the future. There are details in the dialogue and conversations that are sprinkled in that answer some of the questions you're asking. I haven't seen it mentioned or talked about before, so I'm assuming either people don't care, it's too subtle to notice and I didn't write it well enough, or it was just skipped over completely. But there are important details that have always been there that are hints and clues to speculate if you're looking for it. Unless I missed it, there was one conversation in particular I thought most people would find important but it hasn't been brought up here. I guess that's another issue of mine and my disconnect. I just don't like pointing things out specifically because it feels like I'm explaining and giving things away. I almost don't even want to mention it but since it's already in there, I figured I would mention it. I understand those who might be frustrated if it feels like you're just treading water until you get somewhere. I do keep this in mind even though it might not seem like it. The biggest thing I could do is to just keep working until I get to the destination.

Hi venus waltz how many chapters left of this game just asking?

 

[Kalu12345]

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[VenusWaltz]

Hi venus waltz how many chapters left of this game just asking?

I don't have a set number because the episodes all vary in length. I'd estimate we're somewhere just past halfway in terms of the story, not counting the ending. Can't say for sure though.

 

[alex13_zen]

Since I like the game overall, I try to focus on the positive aspects of the girls and give them the benefit of the doubt.

Vanessa starts quite cold, but we now know she has emotional trauma. She's opening up, but it's difficult for her bc for many years now she has been without affection from presumably anyone. She lets us take photos of her for our personal collection - you only do this for someone special. She's clearly wary that allowing feelings to interfere will reduce her focus but it doesn't mean there are no feelings there. Realistically, she must be craving intimacy (both physical and emotional). It's cute to think that she's probably a virgin

As for Riley, there were some cute moments with her, e.g. when she (somewhat reluctantly) feeds as a fry or tells the girls "I know he likes me the most". She also tells us "I know you better than anybody" and then implies everyone shows it in a different way. Again, her main issue is losing focus on the objective (using the same plot device twice isn't too good).

I'm sure that both Vanessa's and Riley's attraction towards us would increase substantially if they saw us fight and win in the PGs. It would awaken an animalistic side that's buried deeply in so-called 'well bred' ladies such as them

 

[OnlyWorthyDevsMakeMoney]

I just started this VN, for those who already are ahead: will the MC become more open to his surroundings? I mean, at the beginning he seems to get bored of everything, he doesn't seem happy to meet people, he doesn't want to make friends, gets uncomfortable just by speaking to someone, and so on....

 

[Abhai]

I just started this VN, for those who already are ahead: will the MC become more open to his surroundings? I mean, at the beginning he seems to get bored of everything, he doesn't seem happy to meet people, he doesn't want to make friends, gets uncomfortable just by speaking to someone, and so on....

yeah, and whats wrong with that?
you wanna fight, huh?

 

[OnlyWorthyDevsMakeMoney]

yeah, and whats wrong with that?
you wanna fight, huh?

No, I just want an MC with a proper backbone and not just one that follows the flow, like the MC in both the VNs in my signature....

 

[Abhai]

No, I just want an MC with a proper backbone and not just one that follows the flow, like the MC in both the VNs in my signature....

sorry to disappoint you then.
perhaps it would be better to look elsewhere, games such as 23sisters, wvm, grandma house and similar...that should suit your taste better.

 

[OnlyWorthyDevsMakeMoney]

sorry to disappoint you then.
perhaps it would be better to look elsewhere, games such as 23sisters, wvm, grandma house and similar...that should suit your taste better.

You realize you named all VNs where the MC is a complete idiot?

 

[Abhai]

You realize you named all VNs where the MC is a complete idiot?

i have tried those, as i have tried the two from your sigs, so hence the recommendation.
not exactly my cup of tea either of them, though probably due to diff reasons than in your case.

games recommendations subforum probably would be the best place to find games you are loking for.
to not go OT here.

 

[xapican]

_Loren_ you can influence the personalyty of the MC, although I don't know what you mean with Backbone, it's subjective.
also not necesary a Harem Game this one.

 

[OnlyWorthyDevsMakeMoney]

_Loren_ you can influence the personalyty of the MC, although I don't know what you mean with Backbone, it's subjective.
also not necesary a Harem Game this one.

By backbone I mean something like stand up for himself. I mean, take that struck-up bitch Vanessa, even if I choose the "knight" approach, the MC should be more firm with her; or the street fight, even if I choose the red option, there is an inner monologue about right or wrong. Maybe is the writing that is misleading, but sometimes I scream at the screen "DO SOMETHING FOR GOD'S SAKE!".

 

[xapican]

Vanessa is a LI, the knight aproach, can put you on the path where the relship is strictly profesional without displaying feelings or having them.
Vanessa's behavior is annoying to everyone.
the Monologue during the Street fight, I took it diferently then you, in both aproaches, if you wan't the mc taking more the initative the Agressive aproach might be something what comes next to your Idea of behavior.
keep in mind that it will never match how oneself would handle any situation since it is written by someone who is not you.

 

[OnlyWorthyDevsMakeMoney]

Vanessa is a LI, the knight aproach, can put you on the path where the relship is strictly profesional without displaying feelings or having them.
Vanessa's behavior is annoying to everyone.
the Monologue during the Street fight, I took it diferently then you, in both aproaches, if you wan't the mc taking more the initative the Agressive aproach might be something what comes next to your Idea of behavior.
keep in mind that it will never match how oneself would handle any situation since it is written by someone who is not you.

Since I like harem, is there a guide to know which approach take with the different LIs?

 

[xapican]

Since I like harem, is there a guide to know which approach take with the different LIs?

No there isn't the most similar thing is the MultiMod, but it is a Mod not a WT

 

[BTLD]

Vanessa is a LI, the knight aproach, can put you on the path where the relship is strictly profesional without displaying feelings or having them.

the flavor dialogue matters not... it doesn't change the outcome .. there are other choices that changes the outcome, but flirty/joker/knight dialogue ... does nothing except change a bit the dialogue.

 

[OnlyWorthyDevsMakeMoney]

That aside, will Vanessa remove that broom from up her ass at some point?