VN Ren'Py Abandoned A Summer Back Home [Day 2 v1.0] [Great dane games]

[Reese286]

Dear Dev, please listen to the advice found elsewhere in this thread ... do us all and yourself a favor and change the MC model for one that fits the story you are trying to tell. He's European or American right? Also he's a hard worker who made it happen and he's 22, not 16. So give the guy some height and bulk, he earned that working summers on Construction sites and part time on the loading dock. Like many others here I am sooo tired of supposedly adult MC's who are light-weight runts.

Not hatin, just saying. Wish you the best of luck with the game.

 

[rKnight]

Your father's family is not what you expected. You start to fantasize and dream.

There's no need... "REVERSE RAPE" tag needed, lol

Spoiler: OH, SH*T! Here we go again...

You don't have permission to view the spoiler content. Log in or register now.

 

[juan palote]

There will be a small update release today or tomorrow on the site. I will add another block in the info hidden with a spoiler button where I will add tags that should give an idea of the type of game. I hope this works for everyone since there are some worries in the comment sections.

That would be great, try to add as many future tags as possible, specially the conflicting ones that could show up

 

[Great Dane]

The things we do, to skirt the line between incest and non-taboo.

I'd like to see some actual previews of characters, 2 out of the 4 preview pics are of the house. I'm sure even architects don't masturbate to buildings, not the best first impression to be honest.

I understand, but since it is just the start of the story, there aren't many images I can use as a preview. I promise I will add more while the story develops.

 

[Ceadmon]

The fuck with you people and cucking your own father? Shit I thought my aunt fetish was weird but at least it doesn't bloody cuck a relative.

 

[DisabledAccount1110202308]

The fuck with you people and cucking your own father? Shit I thought my aunt fetish was weird but at least it doesn't bloody cuck a relative.

Don't kink shame. This is fictional, not real life. What you do in your life is not my business, and vice-versa. Besides, 95% of the time, in incest games, the father is dead.

 

[Great Dane]

Meh not much to say the renders are O.K and the set up is slightly different with the dad being alive but the English needs some work and you would greatly benefit from a proofreader. My problem is the MC is the usual skinny genesis 8 manlet with the stupid fucking Armani hair that comes free with Daz which I despise.

One suggestion would be to look into getting a better looking, more interesting model for the MC to make him look less generic and for the love of God give him a better hairstyle than that atrocious Elvis hair that comes free with Daz. I don't know why so many devs use it.

Thank you for the feedback. The next update is only some spelling mistakes that I hopefully fixed. I will also add a poll to see if more people want me to change the MC. If so, I will change it. (probably won't remake the story. Just change him during the night hope that then is okay with everyone that wan't a change in MC looks if the majority vote for a change)
as I said, this is my first go, so any feedback is welcome, and I will try and improve with every update.

 

[Ceadmon]

Don't kink shame. This is fictional, not real life. What you do in your life is not my business, and vice-versa. Besides, 95% of the time, in incest games, the father is dead.

And you're sick too.

 

[sdawg1234]

Little things to nitpick when you arrive home and your dad is on the phone you move from outside to inside of a library. Also the girl's ages. Emma is 25 & 21 and the others also have different ages from the playthroughs I did.

I'll wait to see how the story develops before giving an opinion on it. Good luck dev

 

[Rinbael]

Thank you for the feedback. The next update is only some spelling mistakes that I hopefully fixed. I will also add a poll to see if more people want me to change the MC. If so, I will change it. (probably won't remake the story. Just change him during the night hope that then is okay with everyone that wan't a change in MC looks if the majority vote for a change)
as I said, this is my first go, so any feedback is welcome, and I will try and improve with every update.

I hope I didn't come across as to rude in my post but I just really hate seeing that hairstyle in games combined with the generic genesis 8 model, it's free with Daz for a reason because it looks stupid. No one in their twenties would have Elvis hair unless the game was set in the 60's or 70's.

I know you are a new dev so you might not have built up a lot of assets yet but I think that even if you don't see the MC much having him be a more unique looking model would make your game stand out more from all the other incest games with a teenage midget MC with a horse dick.

Like other people have said the MC is supposed to be a man in his twenties who worked several hard manual labor jobs he should at least have some muscle I'm not expecting him to look like prime Arnold Schwarzenegger but he should at least not be built like a malnourished teenager. Even if people don't vote to change his model please at least give him a hairstyle that someone of his age would have.

 

[Cirdon]

Immediate problem. He's never talked to Charlotte, from what you present the MC knows her name but he's never heard her voice beyond being in the background in 1 phone call. How is he leaping to the conclusion when an unknown number calls and says their name is Charlotte that it is his father's new wife? It could be anyone named Charlotte and since he hasn't talked to his father in the last 2 years there's even less reason to assume that the person on the phone is *that* Charlotte.

That dialogue gives absolutely Zero reason for him to continue the conversation beyond discovering who she is and hanging up. You've set him up as being at least as stubborn as his father, there's nothing in this dialogue that would give him any reason to do anything other than "Fuck off, never call me again" and hang up.

There needs to be something that compels the MC to get past their anger at his father and come home. Even just some dialogue before the call to indicate he's thinking of repairing his relationship with his after post graduation.

The current dialogue is crap. The only reason to even click through it is to get on with the meat of the game.

 

[Cirdon]

The current dialogue is crap. The only reason to even click through it is to get on with the meat of the game.

And the meat of the game is equally bad tasting. None of the dialogue makes any sense based on where things start.

Unless he's coming back with the actual intention to screw his stepmother and her daughters as a way to get back at his father for being an contemptible jerk I don't know why he's responding in any of the ways you're offering as options.

 

[Great Dane]

I hope I didn't come across as to rude in my post but I just really hate seeing that hairstyle in games combined with the generic genesis 8 model, it's free with Daz for a reason because it looks stupid. No one in their twenties would have Elvis hair unless the game was set in the 60's or 70's.

I know you are a new dev so you might not have built up a lot of assets yet but I think that even if you don't see the MC much having him be a more unique looking model would make your game stand out more from all the other incest games with a teenage midget MC with a horse dick.

Like other people have said the MC is supposed to be a man in his twenties who worked several hard manual labor jobs he should at least have some muscle I'm not expecting him to look like prime Arnold Schwarzenegger but he should at least not be built like a malnourished teenager. Even if people don't vote to change his model please at least give him a hairstyle that someone of his age would have.

It totally didn't come over as rude. I am pleased with the feedback. It is the best way to improve myself and the story. I do not have many assets no, but polls will help me decide what asset to get. There is no point in it for me to randomly choose assets and hoping that I choose the right one. If I get the feeling from the comments that you would like me to change something or improve something, I will put up a poll here and on my Patreon page and see what people say and go from there and see what I can do.

 

[clerikk]

We must do something with the lighting! The scenes are a bit dark!

 

[Great Dane]

Little things to nitpick when you arrive home and your dad is on the phone you move from outside to inside of a library. Also the girl's ages. Emma is 25 & 21 and the others also have different ages from the playthroughs I did.

I'll wait to see how the story develops before giving an opinion on it. Good luck dev

Thank you. I will take a look and fix it.

 

[Great Dane]

Immediate problem. He's never talked to Charlotte, from what you present the MC knows her name but he's never heard her voice beyond being in the background in 1 phone call. How is he leaping to the conclusion when an unknown number calls and says their name is Charlotte that it is his father's new wife? It could be anyone named Charlotte and since he hasn't talked to his father in the last 2 years there's even less reason to assume that the person on the phone is *that* Charlotte.

That dialogue gives absolutely Zero reason for him to continue the conversation beyond discovering who she is and hanging up. You've set him up as being at least as stubborn as his father, there's nothing in this dialogue that would give him any reason to do anything other than "Fuck off, never call me again" and hang up.

There needs to be something that compels the MC to get past their anger at his father and come home. Even just some dialogue before the call to indicate he's thinking of repairing his relationship with his after post graduation.

The current dialogue is crap. The only reason to even click through it is to get on with the meat of the game.

I will take a look at it and see if I can change it a little for the next update.

 

[fishbrain]

Those planned tags won't satisfy curiosity.. people are wondering about major tags.. ntr, swinging, sharing, cheating, group sex, corruption, domination, etc.. we know it's a porn game!

 

[Great Dane]

Those planned tags won't satisfy curiosity.. people are wondering about major tags.. ntr, swinging, sharing, cheating, group sex, corruption, domination, etc.. we know it's a porn game!

I added now what I for sure know is gonna come in the story. Might add more at a later stage

 

[Deleted member 24136]

What's up with Mothers abandoning their families in porno games ?!
Fathers die and mothers leave without a trace...

 

[Ceadmon]

What's up with Mothers abandoning their families in porno games ?!
Fathers die and mothers leave without a trace...

Bad screenwriting. Seriously the plots on all games are similar. And worst of all almost all games start in bed with some milf waking MC up.