Some areas for improvement as a dev.
I guess you've already realized the pseudo sandbox nature of the game was a bust. No need to beat a dead horse, but I'll just explain a little bit. For this game, the sandbox nature did not cause any sort of grind or annoyance, so that wasn't the issue. It was utterly pointless and unnecessary, though since it was almost entirely linear. What it did do, was actually detrimental to the pacing and immersion. You kinda lose the sense of time since you just keep clicking on the current route's area and continue to advance their plot. You'd expect some time to have passed between these events, but it doesn't come off that way. Also, talking to NPCs is pointless after you deplete their rather short free roam conversations. If you want to be ambitious, you could give it another shot, but I think a VN is better suited for your talents.
Perhaps the biggest avenue for improvement as a writer in your case could be in speech patterns and character personality. There are slight noticeable differences between the characters, but the vast majority of them come off incredibly similar. They are a bit sarcastic. They speak in a terse manner. They are generally rather reserved, even the "enthusiastic" sun elf. A lot of this has to do with their speech patterns being almost identical. They all have the same "voice," that of the writer.
Lastly, the sex scenes, while improved from the first iteration that I've seen way back then, is still on the unfappable side. Too short. Too little sex talks. That said, this could be a subjective point as sex talks are inherently a bit porny. If the goal isn't to get people to fap, you did a fine job with the scenes as they could be described as sensual and beautiful. The animations are smooth and look great. I loved the moaning sounds. I just viewed the scenes in this game as an exercise in artistic expression rather than porn.
I look forward to what you will make next. Good luck, and I hope you stay at it.