VN Ren'Py Aurora Protocol [v0.2] [Astghik]

[indio68]

all i ask is don't see any rework till if finished , thanks

 

[fishbrain]

Anyone else incredibly tentative of games with this type of rendering style?
I like it, a lot of people do too, but they somehow always end up being reduced to wallpaper generators or abandoned due to the amount of work it seems to require compared to the more generic and story driven games on here.

Gives major silkandmilk vibes from the renders.. hopefully those are the only similarities.

 

[mairuschan]

Man, you used a Brazilian flag in the Portuguese translation but translated the game into Portuguese from Portugal. Of course, a Brazilian will understand everything, but it's still a good idea to fix the flag.

 

[Rake Tyler]

Ours has an Android version and also a Portuguese translation, this is the perfect combo that makes you want to download it

 

[Look-see]

I cant say too much because of spoilers, but everything will be consensual in terms of sex.. Patreon requires it, and I prefer it

fair

 

[LionBear]

Thanks for sharing this.

 

[Tyrranus]

you have 3 volume sliders.... put the awful sex noises on one so we dont need to mute the music to avoid them

 

[twotonepatrone]

interesting start so far. From the previews for 0.2 in the OP the renders are looking good quality. Will be watching to see where this goes

 

[AnonW123]

First off I like the music. Can someone please tell the name of the song in the main menu?

Promising start. Good renders, a bit of humour and a sex scene that is much hotter than I expect from 0.1 releases. It's too early to judge the plot, but it seems interesting so far.

That said the face renders and animation transitions are kinda rough and rugged. My main problem is that the pacing feels a bit fast. Don't get me wrong, I hate when games take several updates just to lay down the basic premise of the story. This game feels like it may have the opposite problem where there is a rush to get to a particular plot point.

Specifically:

Spoiler

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I will keep an eye on this one.

 

[MiltonPowers]

First off I like the music. Can someone please tell the name of the song in the main menu?

Romantic Night - Andrew Vice, Shiruku & Chirrex

 

[AnonW123]

Romantic Night - Andrew Vice, Shiruku & Chirrex

Thanks much.

 

[astghik]

Thanks much.

For anyone else that would like to know credits for anything in the game, please check the "About" section including licensing information. Thanks!

 

[TribalJOB]

Hello astghik .

First of all, thank you for sharing your work .

Now, for the “harsh” part... I wish I didn’t have to say this.

I started reading through this initial release of your AVN, and unfortunately, I have to be completely honest: the quality of the English writing is so poor that I couldn’t keep going.

I’m fluent in written English, and even for me, large portions of the dialogue were confusing, awkward, and difficult to follow. I can only imagine how unreadable this must be for someone with a weaker command of the language.

That said, I fully understand, and even assume, that English may not be your native language. That would explain the kinds of errors you make: they are consistent with someone writing from sound or memory rather than from structured grammar. That’s not a flaw in itself, many devs are in the same situation, but if you want your story to reach a wide audience and be taken seriously, you can’t afford to ignore the quality of the writing. You’ll have to put in the extra work (or get outside help) to raise the level.

The most problematic issues:

• Missing punctuation: Many lines are missing basic sentence-ending punctuation (periods, commas). This makes the text hard to follow and destroys the natural pacing of the dialogue.
• Incorrect or inconsistent contractions: Constant issues with “i”, “i’ll”, “im” instead of properly capitalized “I”, “I’ll”, “I’m”.
• “Would of” instead of “would have”: This is a red flag. It’s not just incorrect: it’s disruptive and jarring. It makes your writing look amateurish, even if the story is solid underneath.
• Misuse of “its” vs. “it’s”, and other basic grammar slips that add up quickly.

Why this matters:

You clearly put a lot of effort into the visual quality of the game. The graphics are honestly good: polished and professional-looking. Which makes the writing issues even more frustrating. There’s a strong contrast between the visual presentation and the textual execution, and that dissonance is jarring. It pulls the player out of the experience.

Recommendations:

• Work with a fluent English editor, even informally, who can go over your script and help reshape your dialogue. There are many online communities where you can find help (Reddit, Discord servers, etc.).
• Use grammar tools like Grammarly, LanguageTool, or even just Google Docs’ or LibreOffice grammar checker. They’ll catch many of the repeated issues automatically.
• Read more natural English dialogue like games, TV shows, or well-written novels to internalize the flow and tone of how real characters speak.

Final thoughts:

You may have a good story in mind. You definitely have strong visual assets. But without solid writing, players will disconnect early, as I did. Writing isn’t a “bonus” in a visual novel. It’s the core of the experience.

Take the writing as seriously as you take your visuals, and you might have something great on your hands. But right now, the script is simply not at a presentable level, even for a first release.

I truly hope you don’t take this the wrong way. My intention isn’t to tear down your work, but to offer constructive feedback that might help you take it to the next level. Keep going! The effort shows, and with the right adjustments, this could turn into something great.

 

[xmilteach]

thx

 

[vs2011xyz]

Nice Game.

 

[bennycack]

Reviews and comments questioning why the MC leisurely let's a stranger into the house - no one commenting on his very next action: lying to the woman married to the man who sent the individual (if we believe her). Is this more accepted as the norm?

Also the character/stats screen needs some work. Waiting for the text to fill the screen for each character is wild.

Edit: continued playing - refused advances of girl (felt like she ain't human). Next frame MC lying there naked and the next morning MC thoughts about how great last night was... Don't think that worked as planned.

 

[Crowangel]

interesting.... and in the words of Palpatine.. we shall watch this one with great interest... or something like that lol

 

[HH-Games]

Spelling, word choice, and punctuation issues can easily be handled by AI; those aren’t a problem. With such great visuals, I hope to write an excellent script.

 

[JoeTheMC84]

Apparently, I'm an idiot sometimes. I played this over a week ago and only just now realized that the game is called Aurora Protocol and a girl named Aurora shows up...

 

[MiltonPowers]

Apparently, I'm an idiot sometimes. I played this over a week ago and only I just now realized that the game is called Aurora Protocol and a girl named Aurora shows up...

Girl?