VN Ren'Py Because I Love Her [Love Update Steam] [The Typist]

[Papy.ion6984]

TY for this update and for the compressed version

 

[Fliptoynk]

Guess I'll have to wait for the compressed android ver. on this one

 

[DeviIish]

I 100% agree with you on the part of not being possible to have both, and neither would that make sense since you havent foreshadowed anything to do with cuckqueaning.


What I was criticizing is that her actions felt completely out of character. While yes, the MC should be surprised and taken aback, the reader should have some sort of clue that she is the kind of girl to do it, even if it is with the reasons you described. That being done with internal monologue, past actions, build up or a flashback is all up to you. I personally think it would have a bigger impact and wouldn't leave a sour taste, if for instance, after introducing jason, she watches MC and GF make out in the pool, realizes all her efforts are worthless and then on the next day moves on as you build up more and more the character of Jason. Having them do it in a timespam of 10 minutes just seems way too sudden. (And even in extraordinaire cases that involve alcohol, you would need to build up the fact that she is under the influence of it.)


Do remember that although the reader is playing the MC, he is not the MC. He is the reader. Same rules apply when the narrator is the MC. If something happens too suddenly and without build up, the reader will either lose track, lose interest or feel betrayed. You dont want non of those to happen to the reader, you want the MC to feel it and reader to feel bad for him. (Ironically, you actually described this pretty well on the dialogue with Jenni)


And dont take any of this in a bad way, take it as constrcutive criticism, because overall the game is great, but I think you will agree that it can be improved, and character development/building is in my opinion what needs some work.

Well I would have to agree that her interactions with Jason are out of character for several reasons, first she just met the guy. If she really is a virgin and that was her first kiss, would she let some dude she did not know from Adam go that far with her. I don't really see it no matter how charming he might be, it is just not something about her character that you have established to the player. Also she has just indicated that she was interested in the MC, and the player has made an effort to show interest in her, yet she still throws herself at a guy who literally just walked into the party, that is very unrealistic, for the love path. I could see it for the lust path as then the MC would have either spurned her advance or shown interest in multiple other women and not much interest in how she felt. But for the love path, the MC is making an effort to understand her feeling and return them.

It also has no buildup for this action, she pores her hear out to the MC the day before, takes a shower with him that morning and in every other regard returns his advances towards her. To have her just allow this guy she just met to go as far as he has just seems out of character, as the character has been presented to the player. A kiss yes, fondling her breasts maybe, exposing her breast in front of the man she just confessed to love, and allowing him to finger her, No.

As for the Fiance getting angry about the MC stepping in, well in this situation you have a complete stranger, taking advantage of the MC's BF from childhood who is clearly drunk or tipsy. In real life I would step in and kick the crap out of the guy. The MC has no idea who he is, the only person vouching for him is a woman the MC literally met yesterday and the MC's BF has not seen in years and neither one really knows anything about. He also just showed up without the MC's knowledge to the MC house and party. Then he started making moves on and sexually assaulting, she is drunk, one of the MC's best friends. If that happened in real life the guy would be lucky to get out of the party alive.

Holy shit I completely agree with the statements above. ''Betrayal'' is exactly what i felt.

I really like this game, the renders are awesome and love the design, please dont force stuff like that.

 

[Gunvald]

Lovely game but the forced NTR ruined it. I think I won't touch this until this matter is resolved.

 

[Telgar]

I agree. I find it hard to imagine a girl like Jenni getting friendzoned that hard without quickly turning to someone from the tens of thousands of guys living in her city who would easily fuck/date her, no matter how innocent or inexperienced she is.

Depending on the path chosen, she is not being friend zoned, I made every choice that was available to try and romance her and return her affection and she still accepted the other guys advances, a guy she didn't even know until a few minutes ago? In this instance even if the player is wanting the MC to chase Jenni and not his fiance, they are not given the option because this guys shows up and Jenni gives into his advances.

 

[Mack Truck]

whelp at least you can add "blackmail" & "rape" to your tags now

That might get you more players

 

[Eye-switcher]

Ok i dont understand the drama in the love route as i only play the NTR route (i Think, not completley clear to be honest) But the NTR route was going fine until this update, i mean the MC was ok with and pushed it on his fiance so there was no needs for for guns, refusal, Blackmail and rape? she was already intrigued by it and so was the MC so why?

 

[minombrehota]

I love how the MC was all:

 

[NamelessKnight]

@TheTypist, man I really don't understand what you did now. I was so hyped because chapter 1 and 2 were so good, but you lost me at chapter 3. Remember when I told you about respect the characters personality and the game's universe?
My critic about the routes:

Spoiler: Love route

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Spoiler: Lust path

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After I played this version, I will read the comments only and see how it ends by them and I wish you good luck.

 

[TheKryptonian]

@TheTypist, man I really don't understand what you did now. I was so hyped because chapter 1 and 2 were so good, but you lost me at chapter 3. Remember when I told you about respect the characters personality and the game's universe?
My critic about the routes:

Spoiler: Love route

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Spoiler: Lust path

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After I played this version, I will read the comments only and see how it ends by them and I wish you good luck.

Jeez... Seems like the dev managed to piss off his entire fan base, the NTR and the non NTR (well the promise of non NTR path) crowd equally, that's quite an accomplishment... Bravo...

 

[laflare82]

This Story is total bullshit the dudes rich good looking and he would accept the crap from this tramp he would have totally told her her friend and her sick thoughts to get the fuck out he is not married to her no kids no ties theres no way he would accept the situation now if he was a fat slob ugly mofo or a nerd even I'd understand but this shit is not

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we want Immersion enough of these impossible fantasy stories cant you guys continue to make games like {Acting Lessons, Baby sitter, A wife and mother, Lucky mark} love the direction its heading in so far. You Devs are so desperate to feed these Depraved Sexual Deviant Patrons when you also have Patrons that love a great story with plot twist not impossible situations. Yes these are sex games but it does not have to be xxx rated to enjoy a few sex scenes is sufficient

You also needs to add a path were he dumps the Bitch and focus on his future WE DONT LOVE THEM HOES and seems to me every Bitch around the MC is a total slut bag

You cant avoid her giving blow job to strangers through peep hole you cant avoid her getting wet at the gym you cant avvoid that lesbian whore trying sleep with her so conclusion totally BS I tried everything the Bitch gonna cheat so its simple Break that Bitch Heart path or path to leave her MC has no commitment to her only love and that can change EZ

 

[muttdoggy]

laflare82. There are other choices that lead to other behaviors. On the love path, they are faithful to the mc until the pool scene where Jason gropes her and she seems into it (which is ODD but she could be drunk?) but you can tell him to stop then the game ends.
It seems to me you took the lust route which is not explained very well.
Make choices that raise love stats = Both should remain faithful (except her reaction to Jason's pool scene)
If you raise the Lust stats = They will be pushed to have sex with anyone/everyone and that includes the route you described.
If you go somewhere in the middle, It's more towards the Love route.. sorta.

 

[RedPillBlues]

@TheTypistThis is supposed to be a non-NTR path, but it looks like you don't know how to write one, because at first chapter is just introduction and is ok, second chapter you revealed the MC can't satisfy his fiancee because he can't last long and the third chapter is worse, because his fiancee prefers more a dildo than MC that you reveal to be bigger than him and Claire has a fast orgasm where the MC failed(2nd chapter) and for the grand finale Jenni says she likes the MC but she lets another man fingers her pussy without resistance and you don't show if the "yell" worked. I honestly suggest you delete this path and focus on NTR path

Yikes, if that's true how the hell is that a love route? That's pretty unacceptable. Like I'm actually in shock the dev thinks that's ok for a love path.

 

[muttdoggy]

Regarding the Love route =
My thinking is that after yelling at Jason, he stops it and either Jason gets beat up or forced to leave. Then another gal could come onto someone else and they find out their drinks were "altered" or sth. That could explain EVERYTHING and offer an opportunity because some of the substance was left behind.

About the Lust route =
Why did the mc change his mind and pull a gun on them? That has to be answered.
Second, can we "reword" Daryl's scene in the hospital where instead of him blackmailing her, she willing does this out of guilt? At worst, he could say "Why should you even be here? You are the reason he shot me! Either get out or make it count!" And she'd be all over him. In this case, Claire would consider her relationship with the MC to be over. Or she could be conflicted. That would set up the MC having to figure out how to get her back.

 

[gestved]

that pool ending was complete bullshit, one day jenni is like "boo hoo, I have no friends, what I really want I can't have", and when MC starts reciprocating her advances she lets a guy that she met FIVE MINUTES AGO grope and finger her in front of her love interest? My goodwill towards this game is over, and I'm sorry, for someone to be this bipolar she should be completely wasted, not drunk.

and in the end dev goes like "thought you could avoid NTR altogether? thought wrong dumbass, pick one."

yeah yeah, jenni is not in a relationship with MC so it's not NTR, she still a love interest anyway, and if you want to make a game with a love route you don't just shove in our faces the girl you didn't pick fooling around with other characters

 

[Thanos247]

As with usual NTR stuff, people want to complain and cry instead of just avoiding it all together. You don't see me in ISIS forums giving them political views. I swear, some people just love to be negative.

Anyhow, I applaud the direction this guy is going in. Gotta say, he's taking a chance doing some stuff and I admire that. Keep up the good work, and no game is for everyone, so ignore the haters.

 

[gundam00]

I got error, anyone have any idea?

Spoiler

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Edit: I fixed it, NVM.

 

[Serkana]

About the Lust route =
Why did the mc change his mind and pull a gun on them? That has to be answered.
Second, can we "reword" Daryl's scene in the hospital where instead of him blackmailing her, she willing does this out of guilt? At worst, he could say "Why should you even be here? You are the reason he shot me! Either get out or make it count!" And she'd be all over him. In this case, Claire would consider her relationship with the MC to be over. Or she could be conflicted. That would set up the MC having to figure out how to get her back.

I have to agree with this, it would make much more sense to the entire route.

Love the game, but yes I also didn´t enjoy that last part in both routes.

 

[juneba]

Yeah I was upset with the gun scene. I mean it could still end up being good, but it was so out of nowhere, didn't make any sense.

 

[Dependable_223]

Regarding the Love route =
My thinking is that after yelling at Jason, he stops it and either Jason gets beat up or forced to leave. Then another gal could come onto someone else and they find out their drinks were "altered" or sth. That could explain EVERYTHING and offer an opportunity because some of the substance was left behind.

About the Lust route =
Why did the mc change his mind and pull a gun on them? That has to be answered.
Second, can we "reword" Daryl's scene in the hospital where instead of him blackmailing her, she willing does this out of guilt? At worst, he could say "Why should you even be here? You are the reason he shot me! Either get out or make it count!" And she'd be all over him. In this case, Claire would consider her relationship with the MC to be over. Or she could be conflicted. That would set up the MC having to figure out how to get her back.

As for Daryl i would rather the mc stop him before he is even able to enter the house i mean how the hell did he enter is there no door to stop people from wondering in unanounced ? if i have house like that i would have security guards preventing theft and all that. but it is just a game.