Hey there guys,
I know it took me a while to write this message, and I don’t even know where to start. It’s never easy to admit that you failed, but there’s something more to it. 2020 was the worst year of my life, and covid was the least of my concerns. Do you remember the message after the final of E03?
I stumbled upon opinions that it was all just a lie, just another excuse... How much would I give for that to be true, sadly it wasn’t. My life turned upside down ever since. Funny fact... back when I started this little project, I’d never assumed it’ll lead to such changes in my life. It caused a chain of events that didn’t take place even in my worst nightmares. Gosh, when I think about it now, it all still appears too wicked to be true to me. Have you ever felt like what your going through in your life at the moment is nothing else than a bad dream?
I guess to date, something in me has hopes that I’ll wake up one day and everything will be the same as in 2019. For a few months I’ve been thinking about what I should tell you guys, but today I came to the conclusion to just be entirely honest with you, and write this message as me a human being, and not in the name of the company I tried so hard create. After all, this project didn’t get too many good reviews... So, what’s there to lose? And there are a few people that supported this project for such a long time, and they deserve some type of explanation. This message is for you. Believe it or not but I did my best with this project.
What a crazy time that was... Sleeping 3 hours a day just to make sure everything I did was up to date and was the best quality I could provide you with. Using lunch breaks at work as an excuse just to quickly go back home to make another render for you. Another funny fact, I still sleep 3 hours tops but this time to be able to survive and pay up all my debts. I’m feeling like Job, and like all of this would be just a test of my faith. How fucked am I to still believe that my situation will change and everything will be better than ever? Why am I writing this message at all? I literally clicked on the script today by an accident and it hit me... We never even passed the introduction, and the whole story was amazingly thought-out. So many details, so many stories breaking every possible trope there was in this genre. Something none of you ever seen before. When I read it all again, I couldn’t believe I actually failed with such material.
It was my fault tho. Back when I dropped E01 my english was far away from being even consider anything else than “engrish”. I did a fair share of mistakes at the beginning, but I was learning this business like everyone else. The fact that english is my second language made it all harder for me. I tried making it up for you, but I guess it was downhill ever since. The first impression is the most important one, especially in this business. I’d just like to give a huge shoutout to
LaraWolfe, she literally fixed the pace of the story the way it was originally intended. Hats off girl, when I first read the script after your cuts I was like “fuck me, that was what I wanted since the very beginning”.
Sadly, we stumbled upon each other when it was already too late for me to fix my personal life. It’s all my fault that it all ended up this way. I blindly believed in what I wrote in a different language. Now I understand that everyone needs help at some point. Is this project abandoned? Well yes, and no. From your perspective, it might be, and I can’t argue with that. From my perspective, I need to save up like $10k to be able to hire someone that’ll help me with the continuation of this project. I know how dumb this sounds, especially after a year where I did literally nothing for this project. But a part of me still believes that one day... eh, does it even matter at this point? I barely make it from month to month, and yet I’m already planning stuff months, if not years, ahead. But that’s what kind of guy I am, even if I can’t get any lower I’m already preparing myself for the moment when cards will change, and I’ll be able to make moves that at the moment are nothing more than just my hopes.
Honestly, it’s hard for me to accept that I failed, because that never happened to me before. Especially, when I was the only one responsible for something. In my country, we tend to say that you might lose a fight, but still win the war. That’s the best way to give you an insight into how I feel inside. I’ll be honest with you, a few days ago I looked in a mirror, and I had a smile on my face. I can’t even remind myself when that happened for the last time. I can’t promise you anything, fuck, I can’t even say if what you’re waiting for will ever happen, but for the first time in a while, I started to see the sunlight coming through the clouds. And that means the world to me.
It’s the first sign of changes in my life. Who knows? Perhaps my childish hopes will eventually turn into reality. It’s already way too long a message for most of you, so let me finish it ASAP. All I want to say is: thank you, from the bottom of my heart. To all of the people who supported my project, as well as to all the haters. I mentioned only one person in this message, but there was more of you... Way more people who wanted to help me out, and I couldn’t be more grateful to all of you! Screw this project now, I really wish all the best to every single one of you. Hopefully, life has been treating you all well!
PS if I might ask you for this one last favor, could you guys tell me if you like this project and if so what did you like it for? If you didn’t then still please tell me why? Criticism is truly valuable.
PS2 I’m drunk as fuck right now, and that’s probably the only reason why I found enough courage to write this. Who knows perhaps one day will see each other again, but this time – hopefully - I’ll bring some better news to you. Thank you all for letting me feel like a child this last time, where I could see the world full of colors. Much love.
Sincerely,
LStudio
