Well I view bf/gf differently than husband/wife. I'm not the marrying sort, but if you do make a commitment like that then you should stick with it. If you have a wife (who happens to be a knockout) who loses a baby, you don't just walk away and cut off all contact. And the real kicker, not grant a divorce so she can move on. If he came home and saw his wife making out with another hottie (closed mouth Jill not opened mouth Jill unless something is stuffed in there), storming off is not the proper reaction. At least stay and watch some of it.
A three year deployment? What, is he fighting on Mars? No one stays deployed for three years straight, especially without being given some time for communications with family.
Now, all of this goes out the window if James is MIA or if Bella is a truly demented human, but I'm just not seeing it. She is mentally damaged yes, but I don't think she is a 100% psychopath. I think the whole "James is an MIA soldier" theory is a red herring anyway. Even if James is military, in 2016 (year of game world minus three years?), most of US wars and major deployments were winding down. James, soldier or not, gets no pass from me! Main reason though, I just want to sleep with his wife.