When I introduced my GF (hereafter called ReallyNotTina… cuz she’s not) to Being a DIK Wednesday night, we started of course with picking a name for the MC. She wanted to use my name. I told her no. First of all it’s her run, not mine; if anything she oughta use her name. Second, I never give game characters my name. I am not him. He is not me.
I see a lot of gamers, when given the opportunity to name their main characters, name them for themselves. Sometimes literally, like when Thomas Anderson names his character “Thomas” or “Tom” or “Anderson” or “Andy.” Sometimes their online username, so “Neo.” And sometimes they have a username which they only use for game characters, but nowhere else—which is functionally the same thing, because when all Thomas Anderson’s MCs are named “SoftFluffyBunny,” it means he identifies “SoftFluffyBunny” as himself; it’s simply a different username.
But as I said, I am not the MC of Being a DIK. I am not Tremolo Miller. I’m [name redacted], a.k.a. ReallyNotTimmy.
I am in charge of Tremolo’s major decisions, and a fair number of his minor ones. I am hardly in charge of all of them. Dr. PinkCake is. DPC is his freewill-eliminating Calvinist-deterministic YHWH El Shaddai—his Almighty, who has even determined my actions in his game, by limiting them to two or three at a time. The only time I ever had unfettered decision-making power was when I could make Tremolo write whatever I wished in the yearbook—and it was still fettered; I wasn’t permitted to let him write profanities, nor “Yes, it’s bigger than a baby’s arm.”
I have no illusions that Tremolo’s choices aren’t entirely mine. He does a lot of things I would never, ever let him do if I truly had the power. I make him do some of those things anyway, in my “Scenes that shoulda been there but weren’t.” But I’m limited to anything that’s baked into the game; I’m obligated to do as the game wishes. Which is fine. I do still have freewill outside the game, and can turn it off and play other games. There are other AVNs, with MCs who make wiser choices. But what the hell; let’s see what Tremolo will do if I have him do this.
As for other gamers… I’m not so sure about their illusions. More than once a person in this forum has said something along the lines of, “So when I let Quinn put my dick in her at the CUM-petition, does it mean I fucked her?” Um… Your dick? Your dick was either in your pants or your hand. Not Quinn, who is pixels on a screen. Tremolo’s dick was in her. Tremolo fucked her. Unless you determined he didn’t. Or backed up and unfucked her, which is something you can’t do in real life, though it’d be fantastic if we could. You are not Tremolo. He is not you.
You don’t fuck Josy. You compel Tremolo to fuck Josy. He is your proxy. That’s his 14-inch cock impaling her, not yours. That’s him she’s desperately in love with, not you. She’s cute, and feel free to masturbate to her till your prostate runs dry, and call her Alady all you please. But again, you are not Tremolo. He doesn’t know you. Neither does Josy. Neither of them know what strange, dark forces compel their actions, and make them hump in her parents’ bed, gym bathrooms, and behind porta-potties.
Betcha in whatever strange universe where they might exist as sentient beings, they’d rather not know. Same as you’d rather not know what strange eldritch demigods are frenziedly tugging on their privates to you.
Look at her belly and legs again.
