Trasher2018

Engaged Member
Aug 21, 2018
2,139
3,457
1. Why is everyone dressed that slutty? o_O
2. You should avoid explanatory text that is obvious - "the bus has arrived" - we can see that.
3. It is really rushed and rough - especially because nothing is explained.
There is that thief? (taking a thing from a cave is not really stealing I guess ... ) that doesnt sell the thing to the woman that wanted it ... why? The whole "money first" thing is stupid. I mean she had a helicopter and stuff - that is not a pawn shop deal.

Could be dumb fun, but the intro is really messy and all over the place.
 

RhapsodicHotShot

Active Member
Oct 25, 2019
715
696
OK the translation is not bad, some mistakes here and there but its generally good.

The thing I dont like is the missing balls on the futa. They just look sexier when they have cock, balls and pussy because without balls they look like they got their balls cut off
 
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y.king

Newbie
Jul 17, 2022
36
50
I like it! More please!
The English is fine so far, there might have been an odd phrase or two, but it's all quite nice actually.
I look forward to seeing where this goes!
 
3.70 star(s) 9 Votes