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VN Ren'Py Abandoned Bodyguard [v0.1.1] [King Bob]

1.00 star(s) 1 Vote

Resizer

Member
Aug 12, 2018
166
275
I'm trying to improve. If you don't like it and don't want to give me time for improvement just don't play it's simple as that
You are in too much of a hurry to be offended. Why do you think I wrote all this? To prove that I'm smarter than you? You know how to make games, I myself can only play them. Trust me, the only reason I wrote this is so you can fix it. And then you hopefully can make a much better game.
 

Ennoch

Conversation Conqueror
Donor
Respected User
Oct 10, 2017
7,534
21,202
You are in too much of a hurry to be offended. Why do you think I wrote all this? To prove that I'm smarter than you? You know how to make games, I myself can only play them. Trust me, the only reason I wrote this is so you can fix it. And then you hopefully can make a much better game.
He was hardly offensive. If you took it as such then it is you who are a tad bit oversensitive and took offence over nothing really. And could you please remove your double post.
 
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Old Man Al

Well-Known Member
Jan 18, 2022
1,010
6,964
Someone needs to rework the texts/scenes and especially the dialogues.

The people don't sound like they talk to each other but like reading telegram texts to each other. Very robotic.

The inner thoughts of the MC are a bit generic too and don't add anything to the story (talking about the breakfast scene in the beginning).

Renders are nice though.
 
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Reactions: KING BOB1

fleetp

Member
Game Developer
Jul 30, 2018
355
310
For a first effort this shows potential. I'll add it to my 'watch' list. I recommend fixing the problems already identified by other and getting a friend to check for grammar errors before your next update.
It's your story, so follow your heart on how the characters should act.
I wish you success.

(y)
 
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operamini

Member
Sep 2, 2019
222
358
Gotta say those first scenes right at the start from beginning to reaching the house were pretty good.
I agree with others that the mom needed to tell the girls what he is there to do, as that part seemed unrealistic.
small pet peeve i prefer to have the option not to bang a random chip, but maybe there is a reason for it.
Wish you all the success.
 

KING BOB1

Newbie
Game Developer
Feb 19, 2022
37
49
Gotta say those first scenes right at the start from beginning to reaching the house were pretty good.
I agree with others that the mom needed to tell the girls what he is there to do, as that part seemed unrealistic.
small pet peeve i prefer to have the option not to bang a random chip, but maybe there is a reason for it.
Wish you all the success.
Thank you!
 

KING BOB1

Newbie
Game Developer
Feb 19, 2022
37
49
For a first effort this shows potential. I'll add it to my 'watch' list. I recommend fixing the problems already identified by other and getting a friend to check for grammar errors before your next update.
It's your story, so follow your heart on how the characters should act.
I wish you success.

(y)
Thank you!
 

fleetp

Member
Game Developer
Jul 30, 2018
355
310
Gotta say those first scenes right at the start from beginning to reaching the house were pretty good.
I agree with others that the mom needed to tell the girls what he is there to do, as that part seemed unrealistic.
small pet peeve i prefer to have the option not to bang a random chip, but maybe there is a reason for it.
Wish you all the success.
I like the idea of giving the
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1.00 star(s) 1 Vote