VN Ren'Py Abandoned Bodyguard [v0.1.1] [King Bob]

1.00 star(s) 1 Vote

Joe Steel

Engaged Member
Jan 10, 2018
2,430
3,258
Dev, to add to what the others have said, some recommendations:
1. Add depth to the MC. Why is he unemployed? Maybe he screwed up and failed to protect his last client? Something like that gives you some inspiration for his inner voice, which is now so banal as to not be worth it.
2. Read your dialogues to yourself, out loud. If they don;t sound like real people talk, fix them.
3. Remember that good stories have both an exterior and an interior conflict that mirror each other in some way. Every step on the path to solving the exterior conflict also helps resolve the interior conflict.
4. Figure out what the key decisions for the player are going to be, and lead the story to those decisions. They need to be fun decisions to make in the sense that they are choices between evils, with somewhat predictable outcomes each way that are equally attractive. You don't need to continue down all the paths thus created. In fact, it's better to follow a single path to story's end and then come back and fill in the other paths through to the end.
5. Make sure you keep uppermost in your mind that this story needs to be fun for you to create much, much more than it needs to be fun for me, or any other player, to play. Never follow recommendations from players (including these from me) if you think that they will distance you from the reasons you wanted to make this game in the first place.
 

kktcross

Member
Jan 29, 2019
189
153
Ok so i had time to play today and read forum considering its your first game i think that to gain more experience you should not be hard on your self and try to write/make masterpiece game with deeps as f plot you only burn out when unable think of games like Motherless or Grandmas House there is "plot" there somewhere suuuure thats why people play them:KEK: and you can say they are both succesful i dont know where you want to take this but after seeing so mutch BOOTY in first release you should embrace that fap fest route where there is "plot" somewhere but its not point why people play they play becouse they want to turn off their brain read something funny and RELAX ;) so you can take it easy and experiment see where it takes you at the end of my long rant i suggest that you change name there are multiple (7) games with name bodyguard if its something like i mentioned beffore The Bootyguard everybody will immediately know what to expect :BootyTime: wish you all the best in this venture added to watched and i keep my eye on it in future
 
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Ghost''

Well-Known Member
Mar 17, 2021
1,486
3,516
Bodyguard [v0.1] Unofficial Android Port

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- 50mb


My Android Ports have a 2nd Persistent save location. So, even if you uninstall the game, the saves will remain Intact.

Saves location: Storage/0011/Game-name


You can also join my discord server for more and support me.



You can also join 0011 discord server



If you like my works please support me.

 
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Deleted member 4865569

Active Member
Apr 26, 2022
772
5,108
*Lexi and Hillside CALLING*

Jokes aside this has potential..
needs better execution tho.
also if the planned tags is LESBIAN in the future I hope it be avoidable. most of 90% of the games nowadays have lesbian in it and most of it is not even avoidable most of the time LOL.

anal sex? cool.
incest? ight.

ntr? hope df not in the future.
 

KING BOB1

Newbie
Game Developer
Feb 19, 2022
37
49
*Lexi and Hillside CALLING*

Jokes aside this has potential..
needs better execution tho.
also if the planned tags is LESBIAN in the future I hope it be avoidable. most of 90% of the games nowadays have lesbian in it and most of it is not even avoidable most of the time LOL.

anal sex? cool.
incest? ight.

ntr? hope df not in the future.
Ntr never. Lesbian scenes would be avoidable don't worry
 

Boogg

Member
Apr 21, 2022
254
566
I feel like I just read a story written by a 9 year old perv. I started to review it but they dont have a zero star score.
 
Last edited:

Avaron1974

Resident Lesbian
Aug 22, 2018
25,744
88,634
So the mc can't have all the girls? He has to pick one at the end? I.E. No harem?
I'm not sure it's a pick at the end.

She seems quite protective of her daughters so I don't think you'll get to have everyone to start with.

Getting more Become a Rockstar vibes and having to pick early.
 

ThaDude1977

Well-Known Member
Jul 5, 2022
1,213
2,308
You think the Dev is trying to tell us something? 5 of the 8 picture reviews is of an ass. lol
 
1.00 star(s) 1 Vote