- Thread starter KissKissStudio
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- Dec 23, 2019
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That was a very long wait for such a short update from 0,12c to 0.13, and STILL, the broken English within the text is painful to read, why hasn't there been a volunteer to EDIT that shiit yet?
FAR too many phrases are repeated by 2 people in a discussion, over and OVER again, and what with "Company" and Business"
It's almost like you think they are just things you buy at a damn grocery store?
"Oh, you are going to have to give me your company"??
Who the fck says they will give over an organization that they most likely started from the ground up, wasting YEARS to get to the point that they are successful, to just HAND it over to the first idiot that asks them for it?
We need the company that produces THE business for the company...sounds like a child imagining what it would be LIKE to have one, yet has ZERO ideas of what actually goes into MAKING one.
You keep SAYING those words, that you clearly have absolutely no understanding of what they mean.
The suppositions for a PROPER sentence are ALSO missing in EVERY single one.
Instead of "I will go and get a coffee" yours is more like "I will get coffee"
Reading this with its broken English reminds me of listening to neanderthals try and "Discuss" things
FAR too many phrases are repeated by 2 people in a discussion, over and OVER again, and what with "Company" and Business"
It's almost like you think they are just things you buy at a damn grocery store?
"Oh, you are going to have to give me your company"??
Who the fck says they will give over an organization that they most likely started from the ground up, wasting YEARS to get to the point that they are successful, to just HAND it over to the first idiot that asks them for it?
We need the company that produces THE business for the company...sounds like a child imagining what it would be LIKE to have one, yet has ZERO ideas of what actually goes into MAKING one.
You keep SAYING those words, that you clearly have absolutely no understanding of what they mean.
The suppositions for a PROPER sentence are ALSO missing in EVERY single one.
Instead of "I will go and get a coffee" yours is more like "I will get coffee"
Reading this with its broken English reminds me of listening to neanderthals try and "Discuss" things
You are correct some of the wording seems strange!
But that is a strange application to volunteer as as proofreader.
Nothing in AVN is supposed to be based on reality. Else we wont have a spirit like beings haunting MCs, and "delusions" of the LIs persuading them to bang MC. We won't have so many model level beauty LIs and most likely the MC will die during the first encounter with the villain.
You can complain about the english and plots direction but saying it must be 100% grounded on reality is a bit stretch. That said, i sometimes also fall into this trap and remind myself its a porn game
- Dec 23, 2019
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Oh FFS WHY did I start this shiit over again...I am apparently a glutton for punishment, BUT I did skip ALL of the stupid dialog in this KINETIC Novel.
Here I thought it was MY choices that drove the story forward but NOPE, it's ALL going in the same flow no matter WHAT choice you make.
Here is a story, I will give you LOTS of choices, and you will have the SAME scenes, the same goddamned broken English dialog, AND of course the same OUTCOME.
See when you are given a CHOICE rather than the simple ILLUSION of choice, that makes a game or novel SO much better.
So it doesn't matter if you play as a complete kunt, or a protective angel, you still go through the same steps, take the same roads and follow the same shiitty script.
Your corruption OR love are meaningless to even keep track of since you KNOW it won't matter anyway...just shut Up and follow the script!
Here I thought it was MY choices that drove the story forward but NOPE, it's ALL going in the same flow no matter WHAT choice you make.
Here is a story, I will give you LOTS of choices, and you will have the SAME scenes, the same goddamned broken English dialog, AND of course the same OUTCOME.
See when you are given a CHOICE rather than the simple ILLUSION of choice, that makes a game or novel SO much better.
So it doesn't matter if you play as a complete kunt, or a protective angel, you still go through the same steps, take the same roads and follow the same shiitty script.
Your corruption OR love are meaningless to even keep track of since you KNOW it won't matter anyway...just shut Up and follow the script!
- Dec 23, 2019
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Wait...you mean there ARENT powerful deities who can control human shells, and grant abilities to feed their energy reserves...you don't SAY?
EVERYTHING is rooted in even a minuscule shred of reality, no matter how obscure or different it tries to be.
I never for one SECOND viewed this as reality, yet when EVERYTHING about this is grounded in it aside from the PARASITES that are inhabiting these individuals, you have to keep the story consistent.
Oh and this is NOT a VN, it's a KN, I only WISH I had the freedom of choice, which is another thing that is severely lacking in this creation.
- Jan 23, 2021
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- Dec 1, 2021
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73MP3ST Just out of curiostiy, how would you like to see resisting the Bright Lord work? Short of him killing MC by moving to a new host, what do you think should happen? A nearly all power creature in the MCs head... how should it play out? As it stands yes, you can resist, but also yes, we don't want to force a game over for it, so the resist is, in many ways, futile. As the Borg like to say:
Or so it seems, perhaps it's not so futile, but the game isn't over yet...
Or so it seems, perhaps it's not so futile, but the game isn't over yet...
- Jan 23, 2021
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Yes, but why the hell would you want to resist? I mean, that's what the game is about, it's part of the game's kink, many ask for other choises in this kind of game but there are some choices that don't even make sense to ask lol
Dude YOU are OKAY? Because I FEEL you ARE that TYPE of PERSON that THINK the WORLD goes AROUND him.
- Dec 23, 2019
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CHOICES should matter, it would be absolutely GREAT if this were a VIRTUAL novel, rather than the streamlined kinetic that it is.
There is no room here for movement within the code of morality at all, you can't be the better person, thinking about your family first, all that does in this narrative is omit certain scenes, doing absolutely nothing for the plot, or direction in any way, since tomorrow will still be the same day regardless of how you try to alter it.
You are very correct see?
Resistance really IS futile, since that is the ONLY direction this novel is guided to.
It would be a million times more enjoyable if iI could actually READ the dialog, since I have chosen to skip through the majority of it, rather than critique every damn sentence that has an error...which literally IS every damn sentence.
- Dec 23, 2019
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Ah....even in chat the dialog is askew I see.
"Dude YOU are OKAY?" could be a statement if you didn't use a question mark, OR even BETTER use of the English language could be "Dude ARE you OK", see how that flows SO much better?
It's almost refreshing to see proper grammar when reading a sentence after subjecting myself to the butchered form that is within the narrative of your story.
AND before anyone says what would be a very simple question "Well if you don't like it, don't read it!"
If I didn't like the renders, or how virtually every female character within this story is perfectly created, and some of the animation is stellar, I would have never even bothered to TRY and suggest ways to improve this.
YET everything I have posted is tossed under the fcking rug, with the most simple response you could have replied with.
- Dec 1, 2021
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The problem is you're kind of being an ass. You say you skip all the dialog but "know" that every line is messed up. You complain about the choices not "having any effect" but then point out they do change some scenes just not stuff days later in game. Like in real life, yeah, some choices don't change things days of weeks later. There is a story here and sometimes things outside the MC's control are moving things along too. Sorry we aren't writing a hundred different divergent stories to make every little choice matter massively updates later. You resist the Bright Lord and try to protect and care for Chloe, but Chloe still leaves, why? Because the mom and sister are still (in her mind) being bitches to her, so she leaves. So, yeah, not every choice you make changes things past the moment. Because we want the story to actually be moving and not be the same thing over and over where Bright Lord tries to corrupt the girls and MC and he resists and so on forever. The story is moving, and the MC can go with the flow or resist when he can, but the story is moving forward, like a river.
You are just lobbing criticism grenades with nothing constructive. "Fix the dialog!" Well, where are the errors? "I don't know because I don't actually read the dialog, I skip it. But EVERY LINE is unreadable." Right...
"Choices should matter!" How should they effect things? What would be a reasonable outcome to resisting a powerful creature in your head? "*Silence*" Oh, you have no idea, you just want... what?
I think a change in dialog and a different version of the next scene or even a later scene is a perfectly reasonable effect. You haven't said what you think should be the outcome, you're just criticizing with no effort to add anything. It's like saying you hate someone's cooking but when they ask what you would do you don't say, "I'd have less pepper," or "I'd add more salt." Instead, you say, "You should just have cooked it differently so I would have liked it more, stop being mean to me by asking for more constructive criticism."
You like the art, awesome. You don't like the writing, fine. But add something constructive because just saying, "I don't like it," over and over and then getting upset when people ask for more specifics. It is just a dick-ish thing to do. You aren't a victim; you stepped into the arena, tossed your grenade, and are now not holding your own when people clap back because you aren't presenting anything to actually help your case. Are there typos, yeah, and they get fixed when they get seen and the whole first part is going to be fixed later. Either be constructive or stop tossing baseless critisims.
i'm sure you're "popular" in parties with the way you convey your opinion. We are all free to convey it but the method of conveying is important. The Dev would probably be more receptive, if you provide in a friendly manner.
Now, what ever opinion you provide will be regarded as hater/asshole trolling. The way you react, its like a 5 year old rolling on the floor for not getting what he wants. #justsaying
Anyway, it your opinion. We all can agree to disagree. But i would agree on the lack of meaningful choices in the game. There is not much "path" per say. I think the dev lack in man power to churn out renders. As for sticking it to reality, it based on the Dev's prerogative on how he wants to write it. You can disgree and voice your opinion without being rude. That said, if you want your opinion be heard, be a Patreon. If you pay him, your voice is louder than the rest.
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I will summon my inner Kratos and say "Be better". You don't have to join in the mud slinging when there are others doing it for you
You know, the issue is when you think you are the center of the universe it's blasphemie to question that and actually when you are the center, everything turns around you. Right?
- Dec 23, 2019
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"Either be constructive or stop tossing baseless criticisms????"
Did you not read ANY of my previous comments, where said MULTIPLE times already "(ahem) correct the dialog/ use an editor to smooth out the story/ phone a friend that speaks proper english to go through the story and help the script flow/ use GOOGLE spellcheck to do a once over before you drop the lines of dialog", I am sure I could come up with more analogies to fit what I already said.
Look I am not TRYING to be an asshole here, I even liked a few comments already made in fact, I am TRYING to get one simple crucial point across.
The REST of this horseshiit that I am typing next is simply going OVER many of the things you brought up, AND repeating what I just said above...several...times, since you brought up that same point...also...several times in the post I am replying to here.
Wow, alright let me clarify some things then since I realize I have typed out a LOT of shiit in the past couple of pages that things often get missed.
SO I skip through the dialog...THIS TIME, since I already went through it once before if you recall me saying so.
The ONLY things I see change by the choices made are a scene or NOT a scene, meaning it's auto-skipped by not choosing to include it.|
When I said choices do not matter, I played through this using theFULL on corruption mode, everything that has to do with a corruption choice, I made, regardless of if it benefitted anyone or not, the second playthrough, I chose a more restrained attitude and avoided most of the corruption choices.
Chloe still leaves because she feels alone, which is EXACTLY how she placed herself, ALL of her choices made her feel alone since she pushed everyone away after her Landlays-Nextdoor Neighbors-Best Friends-Second Cousins-Rommates Husband died.
Yet that STILL doesn't explain why she would jump at the chance to have ANY job, especially one from the Black Widow that took out that parental figure she misses SO much.
Not every choice makes a difference...alright, I will reiterate that NONE of them make a difference, that's what makes this Kinetic rather than Virtual, which is deeply a personal fav since I like a good choose-your-own-adventure.
Lol when I mentioned an editor is seriously required for the dialog, that is clear and present the main issue with this story, the broken English is apparent in virtually every sentence, and some have several errors in each, I really mean it, see once a good editor goes over the script and corrects it properly, this will flow like milk and honey, improving the entire experience a thousand-fold.
I am NOT just criticizing without any attempt to "add anything", every single post I have MADE here includes exactly what this needs...it's incredible how you missed that...of course, that's what happens when someone sees a long post, then decided to skim through it to cherry-pick certain parts, while ignoring the main narrative.
You have repeated yourself THREE times in your previous post, which I replied to the same here, since I have said VERY plainly yet again what I think this needs, and yet again it bears repeating, even in this reply I am typing out now, which I have already pointed out TWICE, simply go through the text in the script, iron out the butchered language to make it flow. then voila, instant course correction, and a MUCH more enjoyable story...is there an echo in here?
Lastly...no there arent JUST typos, come ON now, if you read the dialog you KNOW its Tiiiime for an ooooverhaaaaul!
Lol its mildly amusing, that you keep mentioning that I say NOTHING on how to fix this, while I just spent the better part of this entire reply rehashing exactly that... isn't it.
Ah to heil with this, I have repeated myself enough for one day, this is fcking ridiculous, simply, go through the story and make it flow like someone who actually speaks english, rather than the butchered flow it has now..like trying to read a book in the passenger seat while driving over continuous bumps.
And lastly to those who think I am just being a...what is that OH YEAH a KAREN lmfao??
Perhaps you could read what was typed instead of the headlines (I KNOW huh reading is HARD though isnt it?), you might learn something, instead of dropping a basic-bitch comment.