Ren'Py Champion of Realms [v0.89] [Zimon]

[MagicDisco User]

I jusst joined this site recently and i'm liking it here

 

[ZimonColdres]

HellGames

Just started the game last night and I'm enjoying it. Great work! I'm looking forward to diving in completely.

I noticed, however, that the English is a bit rough here and there, with the flow, pacing, and word choice needing some editing.

As an avid writer myself and one who wants to see this game succeed, would you like some editing assistance? I'd be happy to do it as a hobby project.

For an example I did some edits on the first few narrative/dialogue scenes (see attached text file).

Just thought I'd toss out the offer. Either way, I'm looking forward to seeing what's next!

Thank you, as I have always said, any form of help is always appreciated. If then English can be improved, it's a great thing.

have you made any other games? so far very good work on champion cant wait to see more on it

No champion is the first game. As soon as I can get back to working normally we can progress.

While I am here, I will show you the temporary accommodation of the IU:



The menu icons are much bigger, and the nav of the house has been fixed, no longer ugly little yellow icons.
Same thing for the icons on the map, much bigger, and when you hover them they become even bigger.

 

[shogun1233]

Thank you, as I have always said, any form of help is always appreciated. If then English can be improved, it's a great thing.



No champion is the first game. As soon as I can get back to working normally we can progress.

While I am here, I will show you the temporary accommodation of the IU:

View attachment 856408 View attachment 856409

The menu icons are much bigger, and the nav of the house has been fixed, no longer ugly little yellow icons.
Same thing for the icons on the map, much bigger, and when you hover them they become even bigger.

it looks great so far. if you ever need help with storyline and concept design id love to help free of charge. ive never work on games before but ive spent alot of my life playing them from h-games to main stream games and i would like to try my hand at it

 

[Deleted member 1230581]

Thank you, as I have always said, any form of help is always appreciated. If then English can be improved, it's a great thing.

Well, I'd be happy to help. What would you like me to do?

I could go scene by scene like in the text file and send it to you? Though I don't know how I'd tag each line for easy reference.

Or do you have something else in mind?

 

[ankhtar]

The menu icons are much bigger, and the nav of the house has been fixed, no longer ugly little yellow icons.
Same thing for the icons on the map, much bigger, and when you hover them they become even bigger.

Yes! I was just on the phone with my poor eyesight and it asked me to pass along it's gratitude. After all this time I could recognize which icon took us where so it wasn't a big issue, but trying to read them was always a challenge. That looks so much better!

 

[masterdragonson]

While I am here, I will show you the temporary accommodation of the IU:

View attachment 856408 View attachment 856409

The menu icons are much bigger, and the nav of the house has been fixed, no longer ugly little yellow icons.
Same thing for the icons on the map, much bigger, and when you hover them they become even bigger.

You know I wouldn't have been offended if you threw in the ones I did as a temp fix

Larger UI Icons
https://f95zone.to/threads/champion-v0-29a-hell-games.40009/post-4351094

Spoiler: Screenshot

You don't have permission to view the spoiler content. Log in or register now.

Though I do like the larger Girl Menu Icons The rooms aren't labeled but they are easier to see, though you could display a name when you hover over them Map Bubbles still seem small

Note: For Android you could place these in
'Android/data/com.hellgames.champion/files/'

 

[ZimonColdres]

Well, I'd be happy to help. What would you like me to do?

I could go scene by scene like in the text file and send it to you? Though I don't know how I'd tag each line for easy reference.

Or do you have something else in mind?

If it's okay with you, you can do as you did for that part of the prologue.
For the tags, just put the girl's name, I remember the events by heart, so it's not a problem.
I also asked my users on Discord if they like that part of the prologue better than the normal part. Obviously yes, another proof of my poor English.

You know I wouldn't have been offended if you threw in the ones I did as a temp fix

Larger UI Icons
https://f95zone.to/threads/champion-v0-29a-hell-games.40009/post-4351094

Spoiler: Screenshot

You don't have permission to view the spoiler content. Log in or register now.

Though I do like the larger Girl Menu Icons The rooms aren't labeled but they are easier to see, though you could display a name when you hover over them Map Bubbles still seem small

Note: For Android you could place these in
'Android/data/com.hellgames.champion/files/'

I would also have done it. I don't like those yellow icons made like that anymore, I want something cleaner.
For the map icons instead, I'm also putting a missing idle.

 

[oblivion9900]

so i dont normally do this but does anyone have a save with stuff complete roughly up to 0.25? work has been keeping me really busy and my saves from 0.25 apparently aren't compatible.

 

[Deleted member 1230581]

If it's okay with you, you can do as you did for that part of the prologue.
For the tags, just put the girl's name, I remember the events by heart, so it's not a problem.
I also asked my users on Discord if they like that part of the prologue better than the normal part. Obviously yes, another proof of my poor English.

Okay. I'll start working on it in that format and get it to you soonish. Just remember I'm only offering suggestions, so don't feel bad doing what you think is best or commenting on it freely. I don't want to damage your design.

And English is your second language. That's impressive, considering English is such a monster of a language. At best I have 2 years of Spanish and only remember a couple words... and of course I have some "anime Japanese" under my belt.

Lastly, do you have character profiles you can send to me? To better capture the voice of each character when editing, I'd need to know a bit more about them. Personality. Education. Basic things like that. For instance, would Heramael come off as a bit more intelligent and haughty? If so, I can use certain words to make that more apparent.

 

[PhoenixRage23]

Maybe I'm missing something about fixing the house up. I work for Taile and she says the MC gets paid with 100 Hidden coins. When I check the inventory it only says there are only 50 coins. Is this a bug in the current update? There isn't an option to work for her again to get more coins.

 

[zekro]

Where did you get lost?

Sorry for late reply but I managed to figure it out eventually

 

[ZimonColdres]

so i dont normally do this but does anyone have a save with stuff complete roughly up to 0.25? work has been keeping me really busy and my saves from 0.25 apparently aren't compatible.

You must be registered to see the links

, I think it's the only save I have left of that version.

Okay. I'll start working on it in that format and get it to you soonish. Just remember I'm only offering suggestions, so don't feel bad doing what you think is best or commenting on it freely. I don't want to damage your design.

And English is your second language. That's impressive, considering English is such a monster of a language. At best I have 2 years of Spanish and only remember a couple words... and of course I have some "anime Japanese" under my belt.

Lastly, do you have character profiles you can send to me? To better capture the voice of each character when editing, I'd need to know a bit more about them. Personality. Education. Basic things like that. For instance, would Heramael come off as a bit more intelligent and haughty? If so, I can use certain words to make that more apparent.

Don't worry, if I can solve the "breaks the immersion" problem of the dialogues, it's a great thing.
For dialogues arranged according to characters, it seems to me a great thing.
I'll make a quick one here, hopefully it'll be ok.

Asmedia
She had a strict and royal education, because of this her character is that of a rebel. This is highlighted by the fact that she ran away from home many times, one of these was the meeting with MC. In intimate moments she is very passionate, tries to be the one to give the push, but loves to receive affection.
Heramael
A girl who loves to go on adventures and tries to be seen strong to protect the people she loves. This is also caused by her sister's condition. She becomes more shy and reserved when talking about sentimental themes.
Estia
A girl who has become very hard on others because of her past. Stubborn and Tsundere, well it was obvious.
Izanami
Respectful and with a strong sense of duty like a samurai. She strongly follows the principles of life taught her by her mentor. Although she wants to serve with rigor the MC, she likes to be pampered. Anyway, samurai women are called onna-bugeisha, so maybe I'll change the term for Izanami too.
Cleos
She has a vast knowledge. This is due to the fact that from an early age she was brought up to perform the task of a priestess. Her problem? She knows many things, but only those that are useful to her cause, when something happens outside her scheme, or mainly something concerning human relations, she becomes confused and gets stuck.
Tsukiko
An energetic, playful, and also very childish bunny. Having grown up alone under the protection of the Moon and not having interacted with the outside world, she doesn't know the rules to behave well, she does what she wants. For her "attacking" the MC is a normal thing.
Sheila
Coming from a noble family, she had a royal education, but she is quieter and kinder. She can't get angry with anyone and always tries to calm down when things get hot.
Maeve
A wise and ancient creature. She would like to play her role as a guardian, but having lost most of her powers, she feels useless. Despite this, she tries to be a leading figure for the MC, but careful not to make her too angry, she is also spiteful.
Tailé
I haven't told you anything about her yet, so for the moment, I'm just saying almost a tomboy, almost.

Maybe I'm missing something about fixing the house up. I work for Taile and she says the MC gets paid with 100 Hidden coins. When I check the inventory it only says there are only 50 coins. Is this a bug in the current update? There isn't an option to work for her again to get more coins.

You can work every day in the afternoon.

 

[Deleted member 1230581]

Don't worry, if I can solve the "breaks the immersion" problem of the dialogues, it's a great thing.
For dialogues arranged according to characters, it seems to me a great thing.
I'll make a quick one here, hopefully it'll be ok.

Asmedia
She had a strict and royal education, because of this her character is that of a rebel. This is highlighted by the fact that she ran away from home many times, one of these was the meeting with MC. In intimate moments she is very passionate, tries to be the one to give the push, but loves to receive affection.
Heramael
A girl who loves to go on adventures and tries to be seen strong to protect the people she loves. This is also caused by her sister's condition. She becomes more shy and reserved when talking about sentimental themes.
Estia
A girl who has become very hard on others because of her past. Stubborn and Tsundere, well it was obvious.
Izanami
Respectful and with a strong sense of duty like a samurai. She strongly follows the principles of life taught her by her mentor. Although she wants to serve with rigor the MC, she likes to be pampered. Anyway, samurai women are called onna-bugeisha, so maybe I'll change the term for Izanami too.
Cleos
She has a vast knowledge. This is due to the fact that from an early age she was brought up to perform the task of a priestess. Her problem? She knows many things, but only those that are useful to her cause, when something happens outside her scheme, or mainly something concerning human relations, she becomes confused and gets stuck.
Tsukiko
An energetic, playful, and also very childish bunny. Having grown up alone under the protection of the Moon and not having interacted with the outside world, she doesn't know the rules to behave well, she does what she wants. For her "attacking" the MC is a normal thing.
Sheila
Coming from a noble family, she had a royal education, but she is quieter and kinder. She can't get angry with anyone and always tries to calm down when things get hot.
Maeve
A wise and ancient creature. She would like to play her role as a guardian, but having lost most of her powers, she feels useless. Despite this, she tries to be a leading figure for the MC, but careful not to make her too angry, she is also spiteful.
Tailé
I haven't told you anything about her yet, so for the moment, I'm just saying almost a tomboy, almost.

Perfect. Excellent summary. Final question is about the personality of the MC.

 

[Manolit0xXx]

hi, rigth now im stucked in the "after meeting all the girls go to asteria" i can't advance more than that, i already use the scrip.rpa for the let's be naugthy bug, so i wanna know if it is a bug, u can't advance more thant that or something like that

 

[masterdragonson]

hi, rigth now im stucked in the "after meeting all the girls go to asteria" i can't advance more than that, i already use the scrip.rpa for the let's be naugthy bug, so i wanna know if it is a bug, u can't advance more thant that or something like that

Time of Day is also a factor. Pretty much cycle through all the places/portals and look for new options.

 

[ZimonColdres]

Perfect. Excellent summary. Final question is about the personality of the MC.

MC
A person with a strong will, always ready to help others. This is also caused by his past. Although his memories are not completely healed, he feels the traumas of his past and to prevent others from suffering he takes on the problems of others.
However, this sometimes makes him impulsive.
Although he pretends not to understand certain discourses or tries to deviate, he understands perfectly and responds with irony (some people think the mc is stupid and annoying, well, you have not understood anything about him).
In intimate moments with his girls, he tries to convey all the love he feels for them.

hi, rigth now im stucked in the "after meeting all the girls go to asteria" i can't advance more than that, i already use the scrip.rpa for the let's be naugthy bug, so i wanna know if it is a bug, u can't advance more thant that or something like that

Maybe Asmedia, anyway, what do the other girls and signals say?

 

[ZimonColdres]

Time of Day is also a factor. Pretty much cycle through all the places/portals and look for new options.

I have rewritten all the hints, they are so precise now that you can guess my home address.

 

[Manolit0xXx]

MC
A person with a strong will, always ready to help others. This is also caused by his past. Although his memories are not completely healed, he feels the traumas of his past and to prevent others from suffering he takes on the problems of others.
However, this sometimes makes him impulsive.
Although he pretends not to understand certain discourses or tries to deviate, he understands perfectly and responds with irony (some people think the mc is stupid and annoying, well, you have not understood anything about him).
In intimate moments with his girls, he tries to convey all the love he feels for them.



Maybe Asmedia, anyway, what do the other girls and signals say?

All the other girls signals say "something's is about to happen"

 

[ZimonColdres]

All the other girls signals say "something's is about to happen"

Did you unlock all seven? Have you tried to start a new day?

 

[Manolit0xXx]

Did you unlock all seven? Have you tried to start a new day?

i have six girls, lol