I loved this little novel! I'd be glad if this ends up being the introduction of a larger game.
It's not as easy as it seems to tell an interesting erotic story with only believable characters and situations, yet I think Void Star managed to do so with great success. On top of that, in such a short story, he managed to convey a lot of feeling and even empathy to the characters using minimal narration and dialogues. Finally, the rhythm was so good that the ellipsis were not bothering at all and all the scenes flowed very organically, in a quite cinematographic way.
I understand this sort of story is not for everybody, but the execution was fantastic.