Ren'Py Abandoned Chosen Destiny [v0.4] [Chosen Destiny]

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BaasB

BaasB

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Overview:
You woke up somewhere and don't remember anything.
Who are you?
Why are you here?
This is a story of unknown person who try to finds herself why she is here.​

Thread Updated: 2023-04-30
Release Date: 2023-04-30
Developer: Chosen Destiny
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Censored: No
Version: 0.4
OS: Windows, Linux, Mac
Language: English
Genre:
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Installation:
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Changelog:
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Developer Notes:
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* This unofficial port/version is not released by developer, download at your own risk.

screenshot0011.png screenshot0003.png screenshot0004.png screenshot0005.png screenshot0007.png screenshot0008.png screenshot0009.png screenshot0010.png screenshot0012.png ​
 
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bitsybobs3

bitsybobs3

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ChosenDestiny-0.4
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Bingoogus

Bingoogus

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Sep 5, 2021
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Not bad, pretty rough though, needs a proofreader and improvement on pacing and scene-work.
 
Veronite

Veronite

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Oct 15, 2022
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Bingoogus said:
Not bad, pretty rough though, needs a proofreader and improvement on pacing and scene-work.
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Yeah, ı know it needs a lot of improvements but this is the first time ı'm trying to making a game. I'll try to fix them later. Thanks for your thoughts :)
 
Bingoogus

Bingoogus

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Sep 5, 2021
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Veronite said:
Yeah, ı know it needs a lot of improvements but this is the first time ı'm trying to making a game. I'll try to fix them later. Thanks for your thoughts :)
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Ah, you're the dev i take it? Wasn't sure you were on F95. To give a bit more detail then, yeah, proofreader, some scenes are almost common/average english but others have broken tenses and jumbled syntax.

As for the pacing and scene work, i found the 'slave' sex scenes to be pretty flat because there wasn't any real meat to them, they were all just variations of "hi, sex?, semen, nice, bye", the later scenes found by asking Freya about the city(story) were definitely better and on the road to decent/good. If i imagine the improvement on the quality of the scenes between just those two points then i think you'll be spitting out solid work after about 3 to 4 more iterations.

There isn't anything else i'd really feel needs to be pointed out, as a new dev you're expected to be rough so i am more than happy to cut you some slack, i hope my feedback/criticism is taken constructively, i liked what i saw and have put your game in the "see how it goes after a few more updates" pile.
 
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Veronite

Veronite

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Oct 15, 2022
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Bingoogus said:
Ah, you're the dev i take it? Wasn't sure you were on F95. To give a bit more detail then, yeah, proofreader, some scenes are almost common/average english but others have broken tenses and jumbled syntax.

As for the pacing and scene work, i found the 'slave' sex scenes to be pretty flat because there wasn't any real meat to them, they were all just variations of "hi, sex?, semen, nice, bye", the later scenes found by asking Freya about the city(story) were definitely better and on the road to decent/good. If i imagine the improvement on the quality of the scenes between just those two points then i think you'll be spitting out solid work after about 3 to 4 more iterations.

There isn't anything else i'd really feel needs to be pointed out, as a new dev you're expected to be rough so i am more than happy to cut you some slack, i hope my feedback/criticism is taken constructively, i liked what i saw and have put your game in the "see how it goes after a few more updates" pile.
Click to expand...
Oh, please don't get me wrong. I didn't want to be rude to you. I apologize if my attitude was rude to you, I had no such intention.

Actually, for me for now, those parts go into small details. I am aware that those parts are not detailed and written quickly. My priority for now was the progression of the story. I'll probably focus on that in the next update.

Thank you for your comment, Of course I will take what you say into consideration.

Thanks again and sorry for the misunderstanding. :)

(And ı'm reading your comments again, ı think you are saying "rough" for scenes. ı thought you were saying that word for me. Haha sorry.)
 
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DeltaDragon

DeltaDragon

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May 6, 2017
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Veronite So Promising start so far, however one small changes I'd personally think would make sense is during that first sex scene where Freya talks about being the "Mistress" you may wish to include an option for Mia turn the tables for those who want a mostly Dominant MC from the get go, anyway looking forward to seeing where this goes.

Also Dont forget to submit a ticket for your developer tag.
 
KyoukoSakura

KyoukoSakura

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Nov 23, 2022
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Isn't that one of the default Koikatsu characters? Like I don't hate devs who use Koikatsu, but couldn't you be at least a little more creative?
 
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3.00 star(s) 1 Vote