- Oct 3, 2020
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Thank you everyone for your support. I'll take the star as a constant reminder to push myself harder and to produce better content. <3
- Thread starter zTi
- Start date
- Mar 25, 2018
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It's just the prologue so far, so I think it's too early for an actual review, but everything looks good.
The renders are nice. The cyberpunk theme is fun.
The story so far is reminiscent of City of Broken Dreamers (swapping out CoBD's mutants for CL's androids), so I'd just be careful that you don't follow that story too closely.
As others have mentioned, work on getting MC's "voice" set in your own thoughts. If he's the kind of guy who would wait 30mins for a cashier to pay attention to him, give us the reason why.
The easiest excuse is that he checks the time an notes mentally that she's right, they aren't open yet and, because he's not a complete asshole, he decides to wait until they're open but accidentally falls asleep (like he does at Mel's place).
Half an hour later he wakes up and asks the cashier why she didn't wake him up, blah blah blah. I haven't seen anything special about the cashier, so I don't feel any desire to pursue her.
I like the other girls so far, though.
Mel is interesting and probably going to be at the center of the story. Her parents seem to run the BBEC (Big Bad Evil Corporation), and MC is sleeping with Mel's mother?
MC's new partner and her sister seem decent. With MC's old partner being the sister's boyfriend, it sets up a nice quad of operators, so it'd be nice to explore that and have MC with a team instead of being solo. As an LI, I already think MC's partner deserves better, though. I hope that MC has a chance to be better.
And Red will need some work on your part to become a valid LI. As it is, her lack of emotions (as viewed by the MC) makes the thought of being intimate with her kinda creepy.
The renders are nice. The cyberpunk theme is fun.
The story so far is reminiscent of City of Broken Dreamers (swapping out CoBD's mutants for CL's androids), so I'd just be careful that you don't follow that story too closely.
As others have mentioned, work on getting MC's "voice" set in your own thoughts. If he's the kind of guy who would wait 30mins for a cashier to pay attention to him, give us the reason why.
The easiest excuse is that he checks the time an notes mentally that she's right, they aren't open yet and, because he's not a complete asshole, he decides to wait until they're open but accidentally falls asleep (like he does at Mel's place).
Half an hour later he wakes up and asks the cashier why she didn't wake him up, blah blah blah. I haven't seen anything special about the cashier, so I don't feel any desire to pursue her.
I like the other girls so far, though.
Mel is interesting and probably going to be at the center of the story. Her parents seem to run the BBEC (Big Bad Evil Corporation), and MC is sleeping with Mel's mother?
MC's new partner and her sister seem decent. With MC's old partner being the sister's boyfriend, it sets up a nice quad of operators, so it'd be nice to explore that and have MC with a team instead of being solo. As an LI, I already think MC's partner deserves better, though. I hope that MC has a chance to be better.
And Red will need some work on your part to become a valid LI. As it is, her lack of emotions (as viewed by the MC) makes the thought of being intimate with her kinda creepy.
- Apr 10, 2021
- 3
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- Oct 3, 2020
- 44
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Another piece of excellent constructive feedback! Thank you! And no, as of right now, Red is not a LI, as Mel says, "It isn't a Love Doll." Meaning she doesn't currently have the working parts.
And I can see the MC needs some consistency in his mannerisms, which leads me to this:If you guys are interested to learn more about the characters, I will create a post that gives a little more background on the ones that have appeared thus far(3 characters have been redesigned), and as more characters appear, they will also be included.
~<3
- Mar 25, 2018
- 1,743
- 3,955
A companion Character Guide could be nice if you don't want to include that info in the game. Just stating what the MC knows about certain characters at the beginning of the game so that you can drop those references in without having to break narrative to explain yourself.Another piece of excellent constructive feedback! Thank you! And no, as of right now, Red is not a LI, as Mel says, "It isn't a Love Doll." Meaning she doesn't currently have the working parts.
If you guys are interested to learn more about the characters, I will create a post that gives a little more background on the ones that have appeared thus far(3 characters have been redesigned), and as more characters appear, they will also be included.
~<3
Btw, Cyberpunk 2077 is the one in recent times that got so much attention, but cyberpunk is a genre similar to sci-fi, fantasy, or contemporary. It's absurd to say a game is taking inspiration of Cyberpunk 2077 just because it uses the cyberpunk genre.
If any young people are interested in Cyberpunk, I would like to recommend the magnum opus of the genre. Give Neuromancer by William Gibson a read.
If any young people are interested in Cyberpunk, I would like to recommend the magnum opus of the genre. Give Neuromancer by William Gibson a read.
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- Oct 3, 2020
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- 313
Thanks for bringing this to my attention, hope there's an audiobook for it, I can listen to it at work. Can draw from it some good instpiration.
- Jun 11, 2021
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This game will be continued right?... For a prologue that was pretty good, makes me wanna play more and that's exactly what a prologue should do so great work
- Jun 11, 2017
- 2,875
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Here's the previews of what you'll expect to see in chapter 1, I could show more but, spoilers lol. Hopefully this will give you a rough idea of what to expect.
- Jul 10, 2017
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- Jul 10, 2017
- 21,611
- 26,620
- Jul 10, 2017
- 21,611
- 26,620
- Jul 10, 2017
- 21,611
- 26,620
- Jul 10, 2017
- 21,611
- 26,620
It looks good, but I would like to know if there will be elections in the future or if it will remain a kinetic novel.
- Oct 3, 2020
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- 313
Hello everyone, I have been neglecting posting updates for you guys here, and I sincerely apologize. I've been very focused on bringing chapter 1 for you all. I know that's no excuse but, I'm just not a very sociable person in general lol.
As I was going through chapter 1 I realized I seriously half-assed the prologue. So I decided to remake it, it's almost done and I'm hoping for a release sometime in January for both the remade prologue and chapter 1.
I'd like to thank everyone for their continued patience and support as I traverse this very lengthy journey.
Oh and I hope everyone has a very Merry Christmas and happy holidays!
As I was going through chapter 1 I realized I seriously half-assed the prologue. So I decided to remake it, it's almost done and I'm hoping for a release sometime in January for both the remade prologue and chapter 1.
I'd like to thank everyone for their continued patience and support as I traverse this very lengthy journey.
Oh and I hope everyone has a very Merry Christmas and happy holidays!
- Oct 3, 2020
- 44
- 313
It is definitely being continued and chapter 1 is almost out! I'm glad you enjoyed the first iteration of the prologue, but a lot of what you saw there will be retconned for things to make more sense in chapter 1.
There will indeed be choices you can make, that can drastically affect how the story progresses or with who you decide to "spend time with"
- Oct 3, 2020
- 44
- 313
Remade prologue is out, main rig busted, but getting fixed tomorrow. Chapter 1 soon, I PROMISE IT EXISTS!