Pretty good prologue. World building through radio/tv snippets in the background is good for immersion. Good job there. Nice environmental renders to capture the cyberpunk setting. No problems with Engrish. Natural sounding dialogues for the most part. Decently interesting main plot.
Now for some criticism. The font. Yea, it gives off that neon lights feel, but it's hard on the eyes. Try to find something else that has a better balance of style and utility. Add a text box with transparency slider so you have more freedom when picking a font.
The MC's behavior should be more defined. Maybe you tried to write him in a mundane way, but it kinda feels like a typical simpy teen MC in a grown man's body. It doesn't really fit his background (merc, soldier, badass). For example, the Doxy chick is being rude af and he just sits there for 30 minutes and begs for service. I mean, he can still be a good natured guy like the script is saying while not being such a pushover.
Another example is when he meets the Droid and he says no to taking her with him. He repeats no 3-4 times and then says "fine" after she says please. This interaction is a bit weird. He knows how dangerous it is to be messing with this droid. He is adamant that he wont take her with him, but changes his mind for no good reason. The natural way this event plays out would be a set up where his hand is forced. Maybe cops arrive and they gotta get the fuck out of there. Maybe she gives him an actual reason to tag along. Maybe Mel convinces him somehow.
Also, when he hears the voice of his ex, he has quite an unnatural reaction. He is too nonchalant about the whole thing and basically goes "hmmm, that's weird." Normally, a person in a groggy state would not be so sure that it is her voice, especially when he assumes she died 5 years ago. He could be thinking it's a familiar voice, but I don't think it's natural for him to jump to the conclusion that his dead gf is alive and is the one behind the android abductions.
Basically, you need to work on creating a persona for the MC. Flesh out the character in your mind first. What type of person is he? What does he value? What are his quirks? What's his main motivation? Does he have any speech patterns? Is he curt? Talkative? Analytical? Survivalist? Altruistic? Quick to anger? Sarcastic? Witty? Reserved? Thinks with penis? Etc etc. Once you understand the character, their actions and dialogue during any event would essentially write itself. It's not just limited to the MC either. You can do this for all characters.
