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I'm alive... I feel like many of you feel disappointed because I've been silent for so long, some of you might have even stopped following me which is more than understandable after my absence.
I'm not here to make excuses, people using this site sign up to see content from various content creators and lately I just haven't been producing anything. Not only that, but I also wasn't active at all on any of my sites or discord for that matter.
If you've been reading my previous posts, I mentioned that some bad things happened in my life and with everything combined I just lost motivation for a lot of the things I used to normally enjoy doing. I'm not here to start a rant or anything, I've been trying to get better but my motivation is still lacking. The thing is, when I first started making these videos I did it because I love playing skyrim, editing videos and being able to get a bit creative and share whatever I make with others. But some months ago it all started to fall apart when I stopped playing skyrim and editing videos in general, I just didn't enjoy doing a lot of things. It's very unfortunate because I was really excited about some videos that I had in mind, and with the use of some new cool tech like AI voices I would have much more freedom with side characters for these videos. But yeah the motivation just wasn't there, I basically did nothing during these last months and I'd like to start changing that. Well technically I did start working on a new video and made some decent progress, and despite me trying to "force" it I feel like it will be an excellent video regardless once it's done. But when I say doing nothing I mean just in life in general, I wasn't going out or doing anything productive. But lately I started doing some editing again and I can say that I'm definitely enjoying it, it wasn't skyrim related but it's a good start. I'm also trying to do some small productive things throughout the day so that I don't feel like I'm not doing much.
Basically I'm just trying to get back into my old mindset, it should help me start creating videos again consistently, which is the reason most of you are here. And if you are still here after me being away for literally months, you have my thanks forever. But right now I want you guys to see that seeing big subscriber numbers or whatever won't really affect my motivation, so please you are free to unsubscribe at any moment and just sub months later or anytime you want, you can still communicate with me on discord (yes this time I'll actually be active again I promise). It's also harder for me because when I was first doing these videos there was no patreon, subscribestar or fanbox, there was less pressure overall.
This is something I don't want to throw away, I put way too many hours into skyrim and these videos, I just need that "spark" to enjoy it all again and I think I'm on the right path. But something even more important is my life in general, and that's something I was able to work on while being away. So yeah, I'm positive about things, I'll still probably have bad days but such inactivity should not happen again, I'll not allow that.
So... when is the next video? This time I'll actually keep my promise and give actual updates about how I feel and the progress on videos, I really want to start changing things. I think I can finish the video I started a while ago by the end of this month. I don't know if I'll do it in 2 parts, but there is going to be something... and yeah I'd just like to start somewhere for now. Back then when I was actually motivated I could easily spend like 8 hours a day just editing/recording, I do that for about 5 days and I basically have a video ready. But it can be super tiring to do this for 8 hours or so, that's why it usually takes 10-15 days to finish a video for me.
I'm going to sleep now and hopefully I'll feel even more motivated when I wake up. I will also start being more and more active on discord and other sites. I promised to make channels for video updates, screenshots and whatever but I never did that, that's my goal for tomorrow... I mean today afternoon, my sleep is kind of messed up.
Once again I apologize if I disappointed some of you, but if you can be understanding with me one last time after reading this post, that would mean a lot to me. Just please stick with me for a bit and I'll make it work.
Also here is an invite to the discord server:
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The link will be active for a week, if it's expired just ask me for a new one.
I hope all of you have a nice day/night. Apologize for spelling mistakes I'm tired...
TLRD; Lack of motivation due to bad happenings, trying to enjoy things again. Things seem to be getting better though, hoping to post a full video by the end of this month. Back to activity and more frequent updates for real this time... sorry for being so inactive, I should've given an update much earlier.