Hello.
I tried this new version, even some content I didn't try last time due to the bad english.
So, the new content is interesting. You're continuing the worldbuilding and introducing new characters. If you're going to skip a day, at last show the classroom and write something like "this school day went by smoothly or without particular problem" because "afternoon of the following day in the haven park" feels distant and don't help immersion in the story.
I maintain what I said about the pace being too fast and the sex scenes too early but you managed to rebalance that with the new content.
The inscription at the gym shouldn't be done in the middle of the training room but at the counter (even using a computer).
You forgot to name the boys outside Dylen. The punching guy aside, you exchange your number with a guy but you don't know his name and the "boyfriend" in the library, even though he's just there for the quarrel, he is close enough with the girl for them to talk using their first name. You can just write "waitress" in the fast food scene if you don't want to give her a name yet. Speaking of first name, the color of some of them is so light that it's hard to read it. The same with the choices : it's great that you added more options in the old version but it's hard to read light grey on white.
The animations are good but repetitive (forward and backward). Try to diversify even if it's just a hand, a leg or the head.
Be careful with the light on the characters, particularly on the face. If you put too much, the skin looks like plastic (especially Chloe and Rebecca during the truth or dare game). On the lips too, it isn't that attractive if it's too glossy. There's a problem with Nicole's parting hair in the fast food scene depending on how she moves her head.
The english clearly improved in the old version. There are still some careless mistakes (I' am for I am or I'm, realy for really, pice for piece...). But from the park scene, the english became really difficult again. You've forgotten some uppercases and punctuation so be careful.
Ah, I wanted to ask : since you've planned to add basketball activities, how do you intent to implement it (matches, training, mini game)? Or just "you go to the gymnasium, then return to your dorm"?
Good continuation.
