Not sure whether I skipped a couple of updates, but this felt like a nice chunk of progress compared to the usual 'blink-and-you'll-miss-it' nature of my last few playthroughs.
That interior monologue definitely needs to be toned down, it's like being stuck inside someone with Tourette's, and gets old really fast. Couple of good jokes in there, but even with those, the overuse of the technique reduces the effectiveness.
Not sure what happened with the Mia scene. Didn't really seem convincing that the guy would be flustered for so little reason, considering his behaviour with most other women. Matter of fact, even her actions seem weirdly confrontational. Maybe the reason gets cleared up in a later update, but as of now, still feels like a muddled encounter.