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Hey guys, long time no talk. Y'all ready to read a book? I got you.
I've had this on draft for almost a week now, revising and making sure I get across everything I want to get across the right way. It's always kinda nerve-racking to come back after a long period of absence. Anyways...
First, let me say do not get the wrong idea about this post. Nothing is coming now or any time soon. Just poking my head onto the scene, opening up to anyone willing to listen and
hopefully create positive discussion about the characters most importantly.
Continue to treat the game as if it's dead. Because it is. That will only be to your own benefit, otherwise you're liable to go crazy thinking about this. For my benefit as well, as it would only feed into my own self-pity and guilt otherwise, which I am trying to be done with at this point and I obviously don't want to give any false hope, though I understand it's hard NOT to hope under these circumstances. That said, I do know some people would still like to have positive discussion about these characters so this is a way to open up for that, however small or fleeting it may be. But please keep it at that. Don't try to speculate or calculate a return that isn't on the horizon. You'll know when the game is back,
if it ever comes back.
That aside...
The render above is actually my first
real render in literally months. Sure, I've done some low quality test things here and there to test the strength of my still outdated rig, some lightning, some new things here and there once in a blue, but I haven't done a HQ wallpaper since around this time last year maybe.
I've been keeping myself pretty busy with real world shit and I've been especially busy from July to the end of August. My mother is recovering from a major surgery. If you remember, I mentioned back some time ago now that there was a cancer scare concerning my mother. That was all it was, a scare, but to relieve her of her nagging issue, she needed a breast reduction, which kept getting pushed back and pushed back, annoyingly so, but she successfully had it at the beginning of August.
Her recovery has been gradual. She isn't what you'd call a healthy person, but there have been no complications or anything like that. Just a slow,
understandably whiny process for her. I've had to assist with a lot of things that I'm normally very squeamish about. Tubes of blood sticking out of her the first week, gauze and cleaning the scar, all that graphic bullshit.
When I haven't been doing that, I've honestly been doing anything but rendering. Trying to enjoy some past times, staying off social media for the passed few months and stuff, outside of playing some games, both erotic and regular. That's not to say it hasn't been negative. Lol, nah I've had my fair share of negativity since last post too. But keeping this post light, things have been decent for the most part.
I'll be getting in touch with some of you on Discord again soon enough. I've likely said this already but social media has never really been my thing. I keep in touch with one close friend regularly and that's basically all I can manage without overloading constantly. It's always been exhausting for me to keep up with more than one person, but I owe it to you guys to stay in touch, even if it's once in a blue.
But now to the interesting stuff.
Let's talk about Nicole
Nicole was a weird character for me while I was working on Connected. When I was creating her, 2 thoughts entered my head:
1. Charlotte needs a roommate
2. I need more diversity in this bitch
To elaborate on point 2, most know by this point that all of my characters are mixed in ethnicity. Particularly West Indian. This was actually by accident. I remember some small talk about a lack of diversity (particularly redheads) and I would see that and say "Shit, you're right..."
In my area it's predominantly black and Spanish-speaking. So the characters I ended up creating, outside of Ayana, Charlotte and the MC, who were all intentional, were all subconsciously created to be within this same ballpark. If I wanted to see a white person I would literally need to head downtown towards
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, which I do not do often. Can't remember the last time I've done so honestly. And even then, I'd mostly see brunettes or the occasional blonde. Hell, if I go downtown, I'm FAR more likely to see Asians than redheads. Not really a jaw-dropping statistic around here though, contrary to the emphasis I put on it just now.
Tangent aside, I remember there was a lot of discussion about this early in Connected's life span, particularly when Ayana threw out the n-word in casual conversation. And I had to highlight that she was indeed black, which seemed to cause even more confusion, so I then had to elaborate even more in saying she was mixed. Same goes for the MC and Charlotte. So Nicole was created to be .... I don't really know myself. And that there lies the problem.
Nicole was hastily created and introduced at the tail end of Chapter 2 and a lot of people liked her (no doubt because of
how she was introduced, lol). When I created these characters there was a point to each of them. The main 3, Ayana, Charlotte and Michelle are naturally very integral to the story and the theme of family. Vanessa, the caretaker of the MC and Charlotte's mother, also plays a role in this.
However, when I created Nicole, I didn't have anything in mind with her character. There was no plan nor vision. As I said, she was created in pure haste. To be brutally honest, after the hype died down, it annoyed me how much people gravitated to her because I very quickly began to feel trapped with this character that I'd rather just discard entirely. I already gave all my attention to the other girls who I love dearly. Then there was Nicole.
I didn't like the way I introduced her, I didn't like the simplicity of her appearance, which would normally work for me, but the simplicity in this case wasn't a point of creation. It was a lack of idea or interest.
Outside of her popular introduction, nothing about her stood out for me, nor could I think of a way to include her in the story, so when describing her to others, I would say something like "Nicole doesn't have any emotional baggage. She's more or less figured out" and it would be accepted.
A "filler" character basically. A character made to get fucked on to give the story a faster pace when things are slow. Which is fine if that was the intention. It wasn't. And I'm typically against filler characters anyway. I'd rather give that time to the characters everyone wants to see and it's that mindset why Nicole has been so frustrating for me. I basically created a character that contradicts with my plans. Made worse when people
wanted to see more of her but I had no plan with her character.
Outside of all of that the one thing I did have in mind with her character was I wanted her to be smaller and more petite than all the other girls. Not childish, not by any means, but Connected already had so many hourglass figures. I wanted to give her ass and all that, but I wanted her to have a straighter waist than the rest of them.
So I made her, then resigned her slightly with a beanie and braids. Liked her a bit more but I wasn't all there.
Fast forward to present day and I finally have a character I feel proud of, at least visually. Each of my characters have a standout feature. Ayana's is unapologetically her ass (she'd tell you that herself, even though she has fierce competition), Charlotte is her blue eyes and beauty mark above her lip, Michelle her tatts, Vanessa her green eyes. Nicole was just there, which would've had it's own appeal if I planned for it. But that'd be disingenuous to the character. I couldn't claim simplicity as her character trait cause that was never a bullet point in creation.
So I gave her a complete redesign which I've since become very proud of. And I love her new hair, which is what her standout feature is. She had blue eyes before in the redesign, but that's Charlotte's thing.
I don't know what people will think of the redesign because these things are sort of frowned upon, especially in fan favorite characters. But I'm curious of what others think.
As for her place in the story, well, that's still a work in progress. The story is very much about Ayana, Charlotte and Michelle, so Nicole was never gonna have a big role there, but I'd like her to fit within the theme of family as well, so I'm trying to figure out how she could fit into that without necessarily needing an arc of her own.
Annnd that's basically it.
Tell me what you guys think about Nicole now. If you liked her more back then....sorry? Lol I just couldn't get behind any part of her back then. If I kept her as she was prior, I would've eventually treated her like she never existed.
I want to talk about Michelle next but I found a last minute issue in the render I made that's bothering me....a lot. Like, you guys wouldn't notice it but after I saw it in the final result I can't UNSEE it, so I'm gonna have to redo that render and then we can talk about Michelle.
Nicole Redesign