- Oct 30, 2019
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I'm so glad you're still alive and in good health (at least I hope
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- Feb 17, 2018
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I have given it thought. I've talked to people as well, at least for the rendering part. But that doesn't entirely fix the problem because I'm still in my own head at the end of the day. I have to be able to uphold my end of the bargain when the team comes to collect which would simply cause me more stress.
The thing with depression is that everything you know to love you find yourself doing less and less of. Perhaps you start but never finish. Until one day you find yourself unable to start at all. So I may write a bit here and then not type shit for an entire month after. Or open Daz Studio there and then not open or really do anything worth mentioning for some time.
For example, I've been creating new characters and stuff, but I haven't exactly rendered an image in months, with the exception of one or two test images of Ayana in a new apartment setting, which was created May 1st. Haven't rendered an image since then and before that was even more scarce. And this is something I know I love to do. It'd be irresponsible of me and disrespectful to request/hire help when I can't so much as help myself. Plenty of devs have teams and they still can't deliver anything worth a damn. Saying that there are already plenty of common names that came to mind.
I can delegate as much responsibility as I please, but if I'm not committed to my part of the bargain, it'll all just fall apart regardless of how many people are helping me. But I also understand that I have to be able to take that first step. So it's something I am working out. Just haven't gone anywhere with it as yet.
- Feb 17, 2018
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Working on it. One day at a timeI'm so glad you're still alive and in good health (at least I hope
Thank you.
- Aug 9, 2017
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ChainZero if you need the deleted files you can try a file recovery utility. If you have not written too much on the same disk it should be possible to recover most of the lost files. Your game was really wonderful, you have real skills that not many people have.
But I hope you fix your health problems before anything else.
But I hope you fix your health problems before anything else.
Such a damned shame. This game was in my top 5 (potential), story very promising and an exciting set of characters. In the end, health comes first. Take care and hopefully somehow someday Connected will be continued
Good to know you're not 100% given up hope on this game and are still alive ChainZero. You just keep working to improve your situation and if things get better, you'll hopefully come back and continue this story. One of the more better story starts in this and the characters are interesting.
- Sep 9, 2019
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What about all the people dealing with depression that rely on this game to help them through troubled times? Not trying to be an insensitive douchebag here, I have severe depression and my daily life involves far too many pills! I hope ChainZero you can find some sort of balance and update this exceptional game!
- Feb 17, 2018
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Believe me, I hate it so much. I remember the brief conversation I had with you after I debuted and it's moments like that, that really bother me. I'm not giving up on this but I just need to handle #1 before I worry about anything else and I do not know how long that will be. Most never really find a way out and just deal with it. Well, I'm trying. As I've always said though, I cannot afford to continue as I have before. It's self-destructive. If I manage to continue, the game and story will be finished. One release. Not developed over time. So, I'm staying positive, and I thank you guys for staying positive with me.What about all the people dealing with depression that rely on this game to help them through troubled times? Not trying to be an insensitive douchebag here, I have severe depression and my daily life involves far too many pills! I hope ChainZero you can find some sort of balance and update this exceptional game!
As someone who has struggled with deppression for years now, it takes time. I've compared struggle with deppression to learning how to walk again after bad accident, due to how similar the process is in how demanding it is and how intimidating it is. You got to learn to cut down your objectives to so small steps that you can actually see yourself reaching them, in order to get at least some feeling of success. So before you learn to walk again, you got to learn how to wiggle your toes and strengthen the leg muscles, then learn how to walk with support, then without support and finally how to learn how to run. It is long and arduous process and you can't really do it on your own easily, you need support of the people close to you and professionals. Also it's good idea to see and listen to others who have struggled with deppression and learned how to combat it, also remembering that there is no single way to feeling better.
- Jun 23, 2020
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- Mar 17, 2019
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Hey guys, long time no talk. Y'all ready to read a book? I got you.
I've had this on draft for almost a week now, revising and making sure I get across everything I want to get across the right way. It's always kinda nerve-racking to come back after a long period of absence. Anyways...
First, let me say do not get the wrong idea about this post. Nothing is coming now or any time soon. Just poking my head onto the scene, opening up to anyone willing to listen and hopefully create positive discussion about the characters most importantly.
Continue to treat the game as if it's dead. Because it is. That will only be to your own benefit, otherwise you're liable to go crazy thinking about this. For my benefit as well, as it would only feed into my own self-pity and guilt otherwise, which I am trying to be done with at this point and I obviously don't want to give any false hope, though I understand it's hard NOT to hope under these circumstances. That said, I do know some people would still like to have positive discussion about these characters so this is a way to open up for that, however small or fleeting it may be. But please keep it at that. Don't try to speculate or calculate a return that isn't on the horizon. You'll know when the game is back, if it ever comes back.
That aside...
The render above is actually my first real render in literally months. Sure, I've done some low quality test things here and there to test the strength of my still outdated rig, some lightning, some new things here and there once in a blue, but I haven't done a HQ wallpaper since around this time last year maybe.
I've been keeping myself pretty busy with real world shit and I've been especially busy from July to the end of August. My mother is recovering from a major surgery. If you remember, I mentioned back some time ago now that there was a cancer scare concerning my mother. That was all it was, a scare, but to relieve her of her nagging issue, she needed a breast reduction, which kept getting pushed back and pushed back, annoyingly so, but she successfully had it at the beginning of August.
Her recovery has been gradual. She isn't what you'd call a healthy person, but there have been no complications or anything like that. Just a slow, understandably whiny process for her. I've had to assist with a lot of things that I'm normally very squeamish about. Tubes of blood sticking out of her the first week, gauze and cleaning the scar, all that graphic bullshit.
When I haven't been doing that, I've honestly been doing anything but rendering. Trying to enjoy some past times, staying off social media for the passed few months and stuff, outside of playing some games, both erotic and regular. That's not to say it hasn't been negative. Lol, nah I've had my fair share of negativity since last post too. But keeping this post light, things have been decent for the most part.
I'll be getting in touch with some of you on Discord again soon enough. I've likely said this already but social media has never really been my thing. I keep in touch with one close friend regularly and that's basically all I can manage without overloading constantly. It's always been exhausting for me to keep up with more than one person, but I owe it to you guys to stay in touch, even if it's once in a blue.
But now to the interesting stuff.
Let's talk about Nicole
Nicole was a weird character for me while I was working on Connected. When I was creating her, 2 thoughts entered my head:
1. Charlotte needs a roommate
2. I need more diversity in this bitch
To elaborate on point 2, most know by this point that all of my characters are mixed in ethnicity. Particularly West Indian. This was actually by accident. I remember some small talk about a lack of diversity (particularly redheads) and I would see that and say "Shit, you're right..."
In my area it's predominantly black and Spanish-speaking. So the characters I ended up creating, outside of Ayana, Charlotte and the MC, who were all intentional, were all subconsciously created to be within this same ballpark. If I wanted to see a white person I would literally need to head downtown towards
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, which I do not do often. Can't remember the last time I've done so honestly. And even then, I'd mostly see brunettes or the occasional blonde. Hell, if I go downtown, I'm FAR more likely to see Asians than redheads. Not really a jaw-dropping statistic around here though, contrary to the emphasis I put on it just now.Tangent aside, I remember there was a lot of discussion about this early in Connected's life span, particularly when Ayana threw out the n-word in casual conversation. And I had to highlight that she was indeed black, which seemed to cause even more confusion, so I then had to elaborate even more in saying she was mixed. Same goes for the MC and Charlotte. So Nicole was created to be .... I don't really know myself. And that there lies the problem.
Nicole was hastily created and introduced at the tail end of Chapter 2 and a lot of people liked her (no doubt because of how she was introduced, lol). When I created these characters there was a point to each of them. The main 3, Ayana, Charlotte and Michelle are naturally very integral to the story and the theme of family. Vanessa, the caretaker of the MC and Charlotte's mother, also plays a role in this.
However, when I created Nicole, I didn't have anything in mind with her character. There was no plan nor vision. As I said, she was created in pure haste. To be brutally honest, after the hype died down, it annoyed me how much people gravitated to her because I very quickly began to feel trapped with this character that I'd rather just discard entirely. I already gave all my attention to the other girls who I love dearly. Then there was Nicole.
I didn't like the way I introduced her, I didn't like the simplicity of her appearance, which would normally work for me, but the simplicity in this case wasn't a point of creation. It was a lack of idea or interest.
Outside of her popular introduction, nothing about her stood out for me, nor could I think of a way to include her in the story, so when describing her to others, I would say something like "Nicole doesn't have any emotional baggage. She's more or less figured out" and it would be accepted.
A "filler" character basically. A character made to get fucked on to give the story a faster pace when things are slow. Which is fine if that was the intention. It wasn't. And I'm typically against filler characters anyway. I'd rather give that time to the characters everyone wants to see and it's that mindset why Nicole has been so frustrating for me. I basically created a character that contradicts with my plans. Made worse when people wanted to see more of her but I had no plan with her character.
Outside of all of that the one thing I did have in mind with her character was I wanted her to be smaller and more petite than all the other girls. Not childish, not by any means, but Connected already had so many hourglass figures. I wanted to give her ass and all that, but I wanted her to have a straighter waist than the rest of them.
So I made her, then resigned her slightly with a beanie and braids. Liked her a bit more but I wasn't all there.
Fast forward to present day and I finally have a character I feel proud of, at least visually. Each of my characters have a standout feature. Ayana's is unapologetically her ass (she'd tell you that herself, even though she has fierce competition), Charlotte is her blue eyes and beauty mark above her lip, Michelle her tatts, Vanessa her green eyes. Nicole was just there, which would've had it's own appeal if I planned for it. But that'd be disingenuous to the character. I couldn't claim simplicity as her character trait cause that was never a bullet point in creation.
So I gave her a complete redesign which I've since become very proud of. And I love her new hair, which is what her standout feature is. She had blue eyes before in the redesign, but that's Charlotte's thing.
I don't know what people will think of the redesign because these things are sort of frowned upon, especially in fan favorite characters. But I'm curious of what others think.
As for her place in the story, well, that's still a work in progress. The story is very much about Ayana, Charlotte and Michelle, so Nicole was never gonna have a big role there, but I'd like her to fit within the theme of family as well, so I'm trying to figure out how she could fit into that without necessarily needing an arc of her own.
Annnd that's basically it.
Tell me what you guys think about Nicole now. If you liked her more back then....sorry? Lol I just couldn't get behind any part of her back then. If I kept her as she was prior, I would've eventually treated her like she never existed.
I want to talk about Michelle next but I found a last minute issue in the render I made that's bothering me....a lot. Like, you guys wouldn't notice it but after I saw it in the final result I can't UNSEE it, so I'm gonna have to redo that render and then we can talk about Michelle.
Nicole Redesign
- Nov 28, 2017
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A game is dead only when nobody remembers it anymore.
I'll always carry it in my signature. Took a little ember of its fire and won't let it extinguish. This fire will never die out.
Also love the new Nicole. As long as she still carries that bush she'll always be Nicole to me lol.
- Dec 27, 2018
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Totally agreed. I liked her style and I wish if she keeps her bush.
Otherwise, I don't agree with this. Even if Nicole was created without a clear objective or positioned inside the story, that doesn't mean the character is wasted, even being a 'filler'.
Getting too attached to aesthetics or predefined narrative concepts can limit the writing experience. So, maybe, that's could be why CZ got frustrated about Nicole.
Besides, if I can put my opinion (far more as a wishful thinking), CZ could think Nicole more as a 'blank screen' than the others, so he could be more free to 'experiment' with her.
Also, the moment the idea gets out of your head and becomes 'real' on your writing, the character (in this case) is not only 'yours' anymore. So, if Nicole got 'hyped' by the fans, that doesn't mean nothing more that the talent of writer is good enough to gets appreciation from the readers/players, even if the author doesn't like how he designed her at first, or the concept itself.
I'll stop with my rambling and wish you all the better, CZ. Be well.
- Jul 15, 2017
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Not sure i like changes to Nicole face, she kinda look more plastic and doll-like to me. It seems like her eyes got bit bigger and eyebrows higher, which gives her some kind of anime effect. Reminds me (to way lesser degree) of changes that dev of WVM made to his characters when all of them started to look awful (imo). She still looking fine but i kinda like this version more.
On a second glance it seems her jaw and chin got a bit wider which actually worked good this time. But it can be just angle of a new render and it doesn't changed.
p.s. anyway it's good to see some news.
On a second glance it seems her jaw and chin got a bit wider which actually worked good this time. But it can be just angle of a new render and it doesn't changed.
p.s. anyway it's good to see some news.
- Feb 17, 2018
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I tried not to deviate too far from her original appearance. Most of my changes had to do with the angling and overall shape of her head with some slight facial modifications to accommodate those changes. I'd say the skin texture and the expression I gave her contributed to the changes you mentioned more than the morphs did.
The eyes I used for Nicole 2.0 made them much bigger in the wallpaper, which looked good to me in that wallpaper, but came across too big everywhere else, so I had to dial back the irises a bit, which were actually the same in her original design. The eyes themselves changed a bit when I added a new head morph on top of what I had already but I didn't focus on the eyes at all outside of that. My character sheets are usually pretty expressive, so that may have a lot to do with how big her eyes look, as shes squinting a bit in the image you're using as an example while her eyes are very relaxed, unbothered and wide down at the bottom due to her looking down slightly in my new sheets with her eyebrows raised.
The biggest changes was her jaw angling and lips tbh. Everything else is pretty subtle or influenced by the expression I gave her.
- Feb 17, 2018
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The bush is still there, not a thing to worry there!
And thanks for the feedback. The different perspective is appreciated on this matter and I'm sure there's truth to it as well. I'm not a expert writer or anything like that so I don't know the ins and outs of story telling but when I work on characters I like to think of how said character interacts and meshes with the other characters before involving them in a story. Since I was attempting to write Connected every other month, I didn't really have the luxury to try to experiment with her as I would in some sandbox.
Ayana, Charlotte and Michelle in particular all have very specific points that I wanted them to hit within the story and hopefully will still hit given some time, but I didn't want Nicole to simply lag behind the others, which she very likely would have done if I had kept going. In my experience, a character that's just...'there' stands out as the odd one out among a cast of great characters. I don't particularly view it as limiting my self in wanting to have a goal for her character.
As for the hype surrounding her, I wouldn't really say that was any talent of mine per se. To be perfectly honest I believe that was just because she had the hottest scene in Chapter 2, a scene that frankly came out of nowhere. Up to that point the chapter didn't have so much as a single erotic moment. I was very character driven so I said, "why not?" and just introduced her masturbating.
A cool moment, sure, but I want to do a little better than that. That's just me inside my own head about it though above all else.
- Mar 23, 2019
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Hey, Chainzero, I just wanted to say that I am glad to see you around here still. Don't feel discouraged by lack of active development to come around here and shoot the shit with all of us. As much as we all love the game Connected, your health comes first. All of us have our own shit to deal with in life, so you are among like-minded souls here.
The best thing, I have found, is to just try to do things to get you out of your own head, which is the worst place to be for many of us, at least too much. Go hang out in the park, buy a cheap loaf of bread or pop a bunch of popcorn and feed the ducks at the pond (ducks love popcorn). Hike on a trail for an hour or two. Go watch a movie, or go to a restauraunt, with friends if they are around, or bring a book and go by yourself. I've done that most of my life. At first you think it is weird, but then you realize, everybody is into their own thing, and nobody gives a shit.
As far as the game goes, whenever you feel up to it. Just make one render, and write some dialog. See how you feel. If you like how it comes out, or the process, keep doing it, maybe make one render every week to start, or if not, do something else. If you aren't enjoying yourself, don't do it. It is supposed to be a hobby, for the fun of it.
The best thing, I have found, is to just try to do things to get you out of your own head, which is the worst place to be for many of us, at least too much. Go hang out in the park, buy a cheap loaf of bread or pop a bunch of popcorn and feed the ducks at the pond (ducks love popcorn). Hike on a trail for an hour or two. Go watch a movie, or go to a restauraunt, with friends if they are around, or bring a book and go by yourself. I've done that most of my life. At first you think it is weird, but then you realize, everybody is into their own thing, and nobody gives a shit.
As far as the game goes, whenever you feel up to it. Just make one render, and write some dialog. See how you feel. If you like how it comes out, or the process, keep doing it, maybe make one render every week to start, or if not, do something else. If you aren't enjoying yourself, don't do it. It is supposed to be a hobby, for the fun of it.
- Mar 17, 2019
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First things first, this isn't a Connected post.
Michelle's post is coming soon. There's a lot that I talk about and would like to talk about in her post, but I'm revising it a lot and seeing if I can condense it a bit more before posting. But beyond that...
Today (Saturday as I'm typing) was a very slow and relatively lonely day for me personally so I began to feel sentimental and started tracking down old folders with my old renders and characters.
I first got a high end rig back in 2018 for the sole purpose of one day creating my own game to share with you guys.
And long long long story short, I spent a good year and some change trying to get to a level I thought I'd be good enough to capture an audience. So I started creating characters for a story I had planned before Connected and started rendering that after some months of planning. Why this didn't see the light of day is a whole chaotic story unto itself and I'm not tryna be here that long to be honest.
Anyways, the woman above is named Taylor or "Ms. Adams". I'd been pretty iffy on the name for a while so it might change, but most likely not. She's a school guidance counselor. That was the idea at first, anyway.
I originally showcased this character in the Show Us Your Dazskill thread on F95 way back. A thread I frequented a lot back then. Not so much now but I should pop in. Not like I'm doing much anyway.
The two images above are a before and after experiment of mine. The top one was a render created for the first scene of the first chapter of that story back in August of 2019, literal months before I presented Connected. The one below that is a render I just finished a few hours ago (as I'm typing. It'll likely be Sunday when I post)
I made another one a little while ago.
Same thing here. The top image here is one I created even farther back in March of 2019. I believe I had just gotten used to depth of field and began to practice various bloom effects for lighting, which was always a challenge for me, even now at this stage.
Second one here was a little more difficult because I was drawing a major blank on how I wanted this scene to look. I originally sat her down similarly to the image above this one but didn't like any of the camera angles I tried. Tried replacing some furniture and all that but nothing worked. But a simple idea snapped into my mind and just rolled with it after that.
I'm also trying out something new with the black bars and thinner aspect ratio. This was actually inspired by looking at
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renders over the passed few weeks. Go check him out. His renders are very cinematic and I gravitated to the style immediately. Not a huge catalog, but one jam packed with quality.I'm always studying other artists in and out of this space, trying to spot what they do in a render and find a way to replicate it. It's good practice to train my eye and stuff and it serves as a pleasant past time too on most days.
But anyway, I just wanted to share this with you guys. A before and after kind of thing to highlight the few years of practice that have paid off for me.
Let me know what you think of Taylor. I actually really want to do something with this character. Something much smaller, contained and finished, but I won't speak much on it yet until I have things figured out, both with her and myself.
A few more things on my mind but I'll save those for different posts.
Til next time.
- Aug 23, 2018
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