I do think this game is interesting, even if there are some odd mechanics which the game could do without:
-The vertical panning shots often bug and get stuck, making it impossible to proceed unless you quickly doubletap the "skip" button at the bottom menu. Ideally, the player would be able to skip the animation even in the middle of the panning segment and move to the next part of the story.
-The "free roam" parts are kinda unnecessary, since they have only one route anyway. If there's anything you might consider for replacing with an animation, these would be it. Just keep them in first person view when in doubt.
-Any option leading to a game-over can safely be removed. Game over mechanics just don't work in VNs, and only frustrate your audience. Either replace it with a viable option leading to an alterative/different path, or remove it entirely.
The story itself, is still short, but did capture my interest, so I do hope the developer is not put off by my comments. I can really imagine this game developing into one of the better titles here. The renders are quite decent, and their composition does show enough artistic sense or talent that I believe they will improve even further with some more experience.