lots of actions are coming indeed...Thank you for playing my gameCurvy Milfs and fashion business, many intersting actions in changing rooms are coming
Awesome looking Milfs!
mc is even handsome, he is most good looking mc in this month, damn weirdo. he should be ugly like other male mcs
Harem , cheating , seduction are already planned tags of my game....thanks for playingBiggest question: will this get the harem tag?
Asking for a friend, obviously.
I Will try to get better dialogues in the future updatesI enjoyed the thickness. Needs a better proof reader and translator.
Harem , cheating....What are the planned tags ?
Thanks you for your nice words it means alot to me...Very nice start to the game! I really like the neighbor and especially boss's wife. Looking forward to see what the boss's wife does, she is giving off dominant vibes and I just love that! To the dev, congratulations on the game!
{spoiler}Future Tags? Maaaaybeeeee Cheating? Harem?
Edit: Some quick initial comments:
...The MC's office looks like one for a private detective...complete with the folders and plaques. The guy is a fashion designer so the setting should reflect that so as to project some aspect of realism. It also doesn't match the rest of the company.
...If you are going to be developing an English Language game, get a competent person to read your script/dialogue. Do not only use Google Translate (or some other similar package). Native English speakers do NOT speak like that. Having to read such dialogue becomes jarring, frustrating and extremely annoying. Sometimes it's contradictory...e.g. if something is "too heavy" it generally means you cannot lift it, not "I got it..."
...Be consistent. A lot of the initial script deals with the MC's thoughts (him essentially speaking to himself). Nothing wrong with that but it may be advisable to maybe put it in italics or brackets (which you eventually did) so that it comes across better as an internal monologue.
...There are SEVERAL gaps in your story e.g. how does he know that the girl on the train is "an innocent virgin"? Or how does he initially know that Andrea is married? How does he know she is having marital problems? Why doesn't he know about the boss's trip? He works every day, so why does he tell the secretary he's just chilling?
...Aaaand your animations need to sync with your monologue.
Hey Dev! Please apply for Developer's Badge here: https://f95zone.to/tickets/categories/general-support.2/createlots of actions are coming indeed...Thank you for playing my game
have a nice day
Hmm there might be some mature action in next updates ...who knows?all 3 ladies look yummy, some even older would be nice
{Spoiler}Hi dev, is French your mother tongue by any chance?
Anyway, I loved the curviness in these girls. Usually, when I read "curvy" in this type of games I fear that's a euphemism for "fat" but in this case they had really sexy curves. Juicy meat to their bones, love handles, fun bags..., a paradise for men of culture.
The story though... Firstly, please, find someone to help you with English. On this site there's a section where you can get in touch with native speakers who will be happy to help. I'm not even a native speaker of English, but I felt uncomfortable reading some pieces.
Secondly, I don't know how to put it, but many of the situations and interactions made no sense.
As someone pointed out, his office looks weird. The train is not a train, it's a small living room.
He lives in the countryside where there's literally "nothing to do" but we never see the nature, just the city. If it's gonna be like that, you could just have said he lived in the suburbs. There was no need for him to live in a place that is never shown.
Why does Andrea's daughter get so angry at him and call him a creep? They didn't even talk on the train. You just wanted to set her up as an antagonist from the beginning, but the solution you found was poor.
And well, I could mention a few more things, like the silly "Catholic quarter" of the city where there are girls dressed like nuns who then work as baristas dressed in skimpy clothes, and whose dads are some sort of Catholic priest (which is impossible or they'd be forced to quit priesthood). If it's a strange cult, you should not imply that they are Catholics. Catholic priests are called priests (not preachers) and can have no offspring or get married.
Finally, sex with Jayden herself was too fast. She seemed like and interesting girl, yet she has sex the second time she speaks to the MC. If you wanted to put sex in the first chapter of the game, there should have been a way to find a secondary girl or something, but a main LI like her, a primary romantic focus of the game, should not be treated so lightly. It was too rushed.
Thank you for your kind reply.{Spoiler}
Thank you for these notes
my native lang. isnt french too.. about the english mistakes i will be happy if i find someone on this site to help.. will search for someone
about some scenes: the train i should render an image to show it from outside..yes thats good point also the MC's town should be shown too , the reason i did not show it yet because its too heavy (even 32gb of ram couldnt handle it without struggling)
About Andrea's daughter....at this point you cant discuss about the character without knowing too much about her...Its just the first version i will show her personality clearly later...
And the biggest problem is the catholic square...its just a secondary story (if i said its right) I dont have too much for it and if you call it priest there is no problem for me to change it(I dont see it as a big deal)
About the sex with Jaylen...Until now I dont see her as Main character....And yea i had to put some sex in the first version just to not make people hate me hhhhhhh
Yes thank you again...As I always say Im still learning form nice people like you
have a good day
Marvilla ,Andrea,MC those for sureThank you for your kind reply.
I'm curious now: if Jaylen is not a main character, who will be the main female characters in the game?
BTW, I just want to say that in my opinion the sexiest and most beautiful of all girls is Marvilla
thankssss....I did today after reading your comment...Then Our characters will still Curvy yaaaaaayHey Dev! Please apply for Developer's Badge here: https://f95zone.to/tickets/categories/general-support.2/create
Or your characters become slim and flat milfs instead of curvy
Thank you!Marvilla ,Andrea,MC those for sure
Amanda(The secretary) and Jaylen not sure yet
New characters (2 maximum) will be added to the mains too (I made some flexbility to the story to let the fans decide which they love most)
And yea i think Marvilla is hot but let me tell a secret she is not my favourite hhhhh
You are welcome brother....have a good day
Thank you for your nice words....I hope you enjoy my gameNice game man, keep it up!