VN Ren'Py Abandoned Daily Life: Blacked [Teaser Demo] [SayWhatCreations]

2.50 star(s) 2 Votes

LGM

Active Member
Nov 22, 2018
551
628
It's just completely bizarre to me that there's this term people have allowed to become mainstream usage, that can basically mean A, or the opposite of A, or another thing that's kind of related but is also not A.
Seriously. It's even worse than "literally".
 

Boogie

Active Member
Aug 7, 2017
839
1,288
Happy to see a game with a decent black MC.

There are plenty of typos that need fixing, but the first thing you need to do is change the text colours. The poor contrast of the pink and green text against your backgrounds make it very difficult to read. I see that you thought that different colours for different characters would help identify who is talking but it just doesn't work, it's best to stick with a single colour.

I also think you'll need to add Female Protagonist tag. The point of view for this first release belongs to the secretary.

Anyway, looking forward to more.
 
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SayWhatProductions

Member
Game Developer
Jun 23, 2018
151
552
Would it be possible to change the name of the MC?
Unfortunately, Erik is not a very well received name for many on this site :phahaha

p.s: I'm sorry for all the Eriks.
Of course! I'm still learning how to use Visual Novel Maker, I know you can input names and numbers... I just don't know how to exactly yet. But I know it's possible. What I don't know is if you can name characters while also having a default name. So I'm still learning.

Why is Erik a bad name?
 
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AlBetGam

Member
Feb 22, 2018
439
2,873
Why is Erik a bad name?
Eric's a character from a very popular game on here whose sole purpose is to "steal" (i.e. sleep with) the girls the protagonist is trying to get with (i.e. his mother and sisters). He hangs around for a long time and can be quite a pain to get rid of, and in general plays the role of hate sink very well. And in general, people really like to pick their name.

As a side note, I like your premise a lot. However, the hair on the main character (in the screenshot at least) looks kinda odd for a black man, particularly one with a professional career.
 
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radical686

Member
Nov 30, 2018
466
1,329
NTR or not, just can't say NO to GINGERS. :giggle::love:

View attachment 675857
Definitely not NTR. The black man is the MC, so maybe Netori. You DO NOT need the NTR tag since most that see the NTR tag think it's your wife/girlfriend/lover/love interest having sex with someone else and you finding out about it. There is an element of jealousy involved in typical NTR to differentiate it from just plain cheating.
 

monksims

Member
Mar 17, 2019
487
493
What engine is this on? Game.exe with companion dlls reminds me of RPGM. I'm using Linux so I'm running the executable using Wine. And it sure runs like RPGM. I don't know if if the line "As Erik grew, so did his passion for the law." should appear THREE times in the "introduction" before Amy was introduced or it might be that RPGM doesn't like Wine (running Windows-like resources).

Also, I thought the main character was Erik but the first choice was made while "playing" as Amy. I think you shouldn't know what other people are thinking if you are playing as Erik and you certainly shouldn't make a choice what Amy decided to do. I stopped at that point because there had been plenty of typos and too much hard-to-read text, for example, light gray font on slightly darkened text box on blueish water. Think about readability when you choose colors for text.

Seems like I'm going to skip this one in the future because I don't like RPGM. I wish you well developing your game/VN. I wish it was running on Renpy because it is so easy to setup in my Linux box even if the developer only released on Windows. :)
 

Jude6

Member
Sep 17, 2017
332
1,125
Pretty good demo.

I like the name Erik, but some people do prefer self-insert options for the male characters.

Notes:
-Some typos here and there
-At the moment the game seems much more like Amy's story because we spend the whole demo either with the Narrator floating above everything, or in Amy's head. Unless all the scenes are about Erik from the perspective of the people around him.
-I agree with Boogie about not colour-coding the actual dialogue.

On the dialogue -
White text on the shaded text box is cleaner and easier to read - The game already goes as far as it needs to with colour-coding the character names.
If the names are all distinctly different colours from the beginning it helps the player get into a flow state where you don't even need to read the name of the speaker, you just see a pink splodge in the upper left of your vision and subconsciously know 'Ah, Amy is speaking'
This gets trickier later on with games that expand out to include a big cast of characters, you end up seeing shades of colours for different characters, but so long as those shades are strategically chosen so that the Red-Character is rarely ever going to be in the same scenes as the Dark-Red-Character for instance, then it's alright.

But yeah, not a bad start at all
 

SecretSal

Active Member
Aug 25, 2016
795
1,844
Good to have a black protagonist that seems pretty neutral. I was wondering whether this was a female protagonist game since the intro is all from the Amy's POV. Even the way the premise is set up makes it seem like it's up to Amy to convince the MC to ignore his wife and get it on with her instead, so in effect she would largely be the protagonist, since she'd be the instigator of the important choices. In this scenario, Erik's choices would boil down to whether to accept her advances or not. Unless that is only the initial trigger, after which he can pursue other women with more agency. Anyhow, colour me intrigued.

As for complaints: While I know it's unfair to demand that every VN be in Renpy, I've gotten used to its base functionality. Controlling text speed all the way to instant, disabling transitions, those have saved me in games where the pace does not keep up with my ideal flow. And even its basic text display framework, while lacking finesse, handles contrast well enough so that legibility is not a problem. It just seems like a lot of extra effort to design the UI, etc in VN Maker, when the results are less legible and less flexible than a default project in Renpy.
 

Hulktim

Member
Mar 12, 2017
130
194
if the mc/player is the one stealing the girls it will fall on netori, if the dad of the mc steals the girls from the mc it will fall in netorare, i think is pretty simple

netori = you steal the girl
netorare = your girl cheats on you / leaving you for someone else
For me:
1. Cheating = when 1 of the partners cheats on the other behind him, and the second does not know about it. And if he finds out, then they either break up or forgive each other.
2. Netorare = when the MC partner cheating and the MC when he finds out does nothing. (He can still watch this, then the Voyeurism tag is added, etc.)
3. Cuckold = the same as the second, only he also participates in this and they humiliate him there.
4. Netori = reverse Netorare.
 
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Jan 15, 2019
375
461
Please, please, please change the colour of the dialogs. I think it's my colour blindness but it's so hard to read it, especially the pink.
 

sdibolcrif

Active Member
Jun 24, 2017
981
1,238
It's just completely bizarre to me that there's this term people have allowed to become mainstream usage, that can basically mean A, or the opposite of A, or another thing that's kind of related but is also not A.
I don't know if I'd say it's basically "mainstream usage," usually people differentiate.
It's just f95's mods who actively refuse to acknowledge the differences and add separate tags to accommodate them
 
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2.50 star(s) 2 Votes