I don't really understand this kind of thing. I've never considered myself to be in the shoes of the player character in these games. Rather i'm just watching a story that i happen to have some control over play out, so it's not like i feel personally assaulted when playing an ntr game or something. But this seems to be a minority view judging by these forums. You might find these game more tolerable if giving this a try?
Also, it raises some real creepy questions regarding rape games... but that's a whole other thing.
Here's an analogy to try and explain my way of seeing things.
Imagine i walk into a cake shop, and i see a cake. It may look appealing on the outside but there's hints of things i may dislike, be it something in the cake's mix, or something in the topping. Depending on what it is, and how much there is, i may still be able to enjoy the cake. But to check how much of the stuff that i dislike is in the cake, i ask the person behind the counter that baked it.
If it contains stuff that either i dislike, or am allergic to, i can just look for something else more to my tastes. If however, it either doesn't actually contain anything bad, or it does contain it, but it is either removable (a topping on the cake) or it is in such a small quantity that i can tolerate it, then i can then go on to enjoy the cake, despite the minor things about it that i dislike.
Although it doesn't fully touch on my perspective of NTR, it's more a matter of i just generally dislike it. But since the characters look appealing enough, i may still try this work. (Mentally i also put myself in the shoes of the MC per se, and i'd rather be the one NTR'ing another person, than have it happen to me. But i'd rather it not happen at all.)