Why don't you rate a green badge?
What was your writing contribution to 0.14?
My contribution was to Georgina’s lunch with MC: in essence, a change FROM “we could date, but how do we handle workconflicts” TO a “we could date, but how do we’d handle Daughter.” It is my understanding they were going to change that scene anyway, and I happened to rewrite it to their satisfaction.
My reason for the rewrite was this:
(1) Since the game is about the Daughter primarily, and since MC by this time (Day 11) just had a morning nude shower with Daughter, I thought the Elephant in the room regaring a gf conversation with G was “Daughter” and not “work.” In addition, by making the original script primarily about work issues, MC seemed cold hearted - especially after MC/D’s first nude shower.
(2). Also, I thought this was a moment for a character reveal by Georgina. Added to the scene was a little more background for Georgina: she has younger sisters that she cared for while in her younger 20s (3 sisters in middle and high school). This builds in a role for Georgina that seems to fit her age, temperament, and already 10-year work relationship with MC - that of an older sister/alternate mother to D, helping to build a quick trust relationship with D; note that D already has a trust relationship with Elena. It allows for a quicker MFF sexual relationship if the trust relationship is there.
(3). In addition, I was looking to infuse a little more of Georgina’s own modeling goals as well as what she has done in modeling up to that point. I have to replay that scene to see what from my suggested script actually made it in. The idea is Georgina has been taking her yearly vacation time off to leave town on modeling gigs - so she does already have connections and a professional portfolio that helps with a transition to Chapter 3 (where I assume D will start modeling).
(4). Finally, the new scene explains why Georgina is coming on to MC now...after being his secretary for many years. It also explains why MC has all these women coming on to him in the game and yet had no sign of a girlfriend when the game begins. I posted an piece on MDots Patreon about the “It Girl” and how people are just attracted to the lady with the “It Girl” vibe. I also noted that neither D nor MC seemed to be a magnet for other PRIOR to the beginning of the game. D has a boyfriend who does not seem that attracted to her; MC has a porn collection, bowling with Martin, and work. Yet, once they meet up, they both start gathering the attention of others. Georgina sees this in MC and points that’s out in the scene. MC & D are, in essence, the “It Couple”; due to the presence of each other, they as individuals and as a couple have become “It People.”
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As far as no green badge, I’m not part of the design team shared emails. I do copy Aitan and MrDots on submissions, but I just submit ideas, and that one script rewrite - unsolicited.
I don’t have the time to be a reliable contributor. In addition, I believe there is a weird benefit to not being in on the design team discussions: I am not subject to “group think.”
Group Think causes two problems. First, it causes you to assume certain things that your audience may never pick up. For example, if a scene is written to subtly convey certain information or subtly show a change in a character, ones knowledge as a design team member could blind you to the fact the scene does not work for the uninformed audience. This happens all the time in a trial when an inexperienced expert witness tries to give testimony to the judge or jury. “I think it’s absolutely clear what I meant.” When it is only clear to the expert.
Second, Group Think hurts thinking outside the box. For example, in Chapter 1, the team had an idea that D & F had to go through a series of dates. I went to the Internet and provided lists of 50date ideas; 25+ things new couples do together, etc. I like to think the carnival came from that list as well as the promise rings. The point is if the design team scripts out in advance the scene schedule months in advance, they might stop thinking of alternate ideas. Since I have no idea what they are actually doing, I throw out “what if” ideas and they can take it or leave it.
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Ultimately, I just want to see this VN be a kickass VN of epic proportions. I think the VN has gotten more and more interesting as it progresses. When we were ate Day 5, I thought the non-D females were a little weak, and posted several times with ideas on how they could be improved. I think both Elena and Georgina have become much more distinct and interesting (and have room to improve as the story progresses). So my main goal is a great product regardless of being a team member.
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BTW, I do like the added Richard scene. Please note that Richard indicates he might be leaving town to avoid his brother in the future since he did not bail out Lucas. Also note that D&F plan to leave town. I have no information, but I would say Richard will be around in the new location. —— Also note that we have Richard the photographer, Rico (if I am correct) the Pool Shark, and Ricardo (if I’m correct) the Cat-Owning BF of Elena. Is Richard/Rico/Ricardo the equivalent to the “LL” characters in the Superman comics? (Lois Lane. Lex Luthor. Lana Lang. Lori Lemaris. Lyla Lerrol. Linda Lee)