Haven't played since around chapter 2, and am looking forward to catch up when I have time (working on my own stuff takes time). But the main issue you are talking about is something I also bring up all the time. I even came up with a trope name for it: The Stairway to Heaven, and you can read about it here:
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Different games move at different paces. And as frustrating as I can find these scenes as a player myself. Some people love a slow, teasing progression. Games that start with tons of early sex often also have the weakest plots, though there are exceptions like Good Girl Gone Bad. So as a dev it's all about finding the middle ground. And that's harder than it seems to be fair. There is also the concern I have seen voiced that when the sex actually happens, Patrons won't stick around because they already have what they wanted. I can't speak to that personally, but I do think that the fear is likely overblown so long as the dev doesn't make sex the end of the relationship. It should be a new beginning in the story, but definitely not the end.