Okay, I'm able to light a subject correctly. HOWEVER, as you can see, there is the issue of using an emmitor rather than a reflector when you look at the shadow under her chin and accross the right side of her face where the hair is casting. With a reflector that shadow would still be there, but it would be feathered rather than so harsh. There is no way around this without a reflector, as that's just how physics works.
I'm 95% positive that mesh lights (like planar emitters) are not directional. It's why people use meshes rather than spot lights with dimensions. I don't think it's the mesh that's creating less feathered shadow for you, but it's more in the placement and the intensity of the lights.
(People use mesh lights ALL the time in Daz to avoid harsh spots. Throwing a sheet over a spot isn't necessarily going to give you the effect that you think if you're already using a mesh. Usually, the lighting packages you buy are 1) Mesh light (planar surface, often with some kind of shape) with 2) HDRI.
You can create a bubble image or something to feather your mesh if you like, like I said. I make maps to do that & vary the quality of a mesh light emitter, but I only use them occasionally.)
It could be that your planar mesh emitter is too close/too small & is creating angles, causing shadow?
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Example. Just a quick render, like 15 minutes in the engine. (It would be faster on a fancier computer.)
This image is 3 lights, Scene Only (no HDRI). Nothing else in the scene.
(The Nazi flag is set to 0% glossy, so it's not bouncing much of anything upwards. There's just a diffuse map.)
There's a planar emitter behind and slightly above the camera. I don't move the camera close. I use the Cameras tab to adjust Frame Width and Focal Length so I don't change the light levels by zooming in.
Second light... Distant Light above and to the right of the frame. (That's what's causing all the shadow. You can tell by the direction of the shadow. My mesh light is in line with the camera, from left to right. It's positioned above the frame, but not left or right of the frame. The skew of the shadows is coming from the distant light source, not the fill from the mesh.)
Third light... random back/rim light, even though it's pointless. I just added it for a third random light. LOL.
