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- Nov 26, 2019
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- Sep 12, 2021
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You do know there's a difference between written and spoken english right?
There is nothing wrong in my dialogue. There are multiple ways of wording this dialogue and yes some wordings i chose might be a little odd, but they are not wrong in any way as your comment alludes to. The one thing with your example is that is has 0% personality and so doesn't fit the characters. Also, Sleeping head? that makes 0% sense, the term is sleepyhead the definition of which is as follows:
- a sleepy or inattentive person (usually as a form of address).
"come on, sleepyhead, time to get up"
So the only error here would be that i split the word into two words which is fair enough. Then we have "are you sleeping well?" which is a question in the present tense, which again makes no sense when MC is not sleeping at the moment but has already woken up. In which case "you sleep okay?" or "you sleep well?" or "did you sleep well?" or "did you sleep okay?" are all valid ways to ask this question in the past tense. the addition of did is more a personality thing in this case. "you didn't have to do it" does'nt roll of the tongue in spoken english as well as "you didn't have to", which is a very common way to react in this instance and there's nothing wrong with it. "I'm a single mom with a 10-year-old son" is again a choice. I will grant you that this does sound better than my choice although i would drop the son in this instance. It can be added but makes the sentence longer than it needs to be IMO. the "sure you do, ma'am" again is kind of a weird one as once again "sure thing" is a very common reaction in a situation like this. sure you do makes no sense as a confirmation to what is requested of the character but more so a reaction of doubt towards the dialogue partner.
I appreciate that you want to help but at least make sure you understand English (both spoken and written) to the point where you can hone in on actual issues. Granted some wording CAN be better since yes english is not my primary language even though i have been speaking it fluently for close to 17 years now.
- Sep 12, 2021
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Shae: "Wow slow down! You'll choke if you keep this up! Jesus you're just like Connor."
MC: "Hhhhhm? munch munch"
Shae: "Well at least it's good to know you enjoy the food."
MC: gulp "Aaaagh, yeah this is amazing! You cook like this every day?"
Shae: "No usually I make something simpler for Connor, and I'm never hungry in the morning so I don't really eat breakfast. Anyway, I left a towel for you in the bathroom so you can take a shower when you're done. I also left 50 dollars on the table by the door. Now before you start, I want you to take it, both as thank you for the help and also so i don't feel like I'm taking advantage of you."
MC: "Shae, I know you're not taking advantage of me. I helped you because you needed it, and because I wanted to. I don't want to take your money."
Shae: "Well too bad! You might be a bad-ass military man but I grew up in Dublin and luck ain't the only thing we Irish have! Trust me, just take the money."
MC: "Wow Fine! There's no winning with you is there?"
Shae: "See? that wasn't so hard now, was it?"
MC: "Hhhhhm? munch munch"
Shae: "Well at least it's good to know you enjoy the food."
MC: gulp "Aaaagh, yeah this is amazing! You cook like this every day?"
Shae: "No usually I make something simpler for Connor, and I'm never hungry in the morning so I don't really eat breakfast. Anyway, I left a towel for you in the bathroom so you can take a shower when you're done. I also left 50 dollars on the table by the door. Now before you start, I want you to take it, both as thank you for the help and also so i don't feel like I'm taking advantage of you."
MC: "Shae, I know you're not taking advantage of me. I helped you because you needed it, and because I wanted to. I don't want to take your money."
Shae: "Well too bad! You might be a bad-ass military man but I grew up in Dublin and luck ain't the only thing we Irish have! Trust me, just take the money."
MC: "Wow Fine! There's no winning with you is there?"
Shae: "See? that wasn't so hard now, was it?"
- Jan 15, 2018
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Was watching the Witcher and got a bit inspired 
Amazing render, could you please tell me what hair asset that is? It's one of the best looking ones I've seen.Was watching the Witcher and got a bit inspired
- Jan 15, 2018
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- Jan 16, 2018
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"Hope Santa gonna forget about the bad things that I did!"
- Feb 17, 2020
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