The dev once said that they didn't wanna go to Patreon cuz it made them depressed
So they won't pause payments and continue to receive them, yet won't give his patrons any updates or receive feedback?
Like yes, they're getting a lot of negativity, but that's something every dev/business-person has to learn to deal with, not everyone will be friendly, especially online. Him ignoring them if literally the main reason they got mad. The dev said going dark was good for them cuz it let them structure the game (didn't say they worked on it, mind you), yet the going dark is whats causing all this frustration. They're just creating a perpetual cycle by running away from the issue instead of facing it head on.
Personally I think most of the issues can be solved if they just stopped giving "scheduled release dates." Giving a planned date then saying there might always be a buffer, makes the whole point of a schedule redundant. Yes delays can be inevitable sometimes, but it shouldn't be regarded as the norm every single time.
If they stopped giving scheduled dates, released a weekly/bi-weekly progress bar, and made an update post every so often, there would be a lot less frustration. There are some games have taken months to complete, yet most people won't complain for those specific games (obviously not all of them), cuz they know the dev is actually working, and the content they'll get in the end will be worth the wait.