VN Ren'Py Abandoned Devilicious [v0.1.1] [ElusiveDreams]

[Deleted member 3208170]

I agree that the protagonist's personality has not been as well presented as it should have been, and I'm fixing that. Thanks for pointing out.

As for what you mentioned about the MC thanking Maliel for taking him to Vallerie, maybe I didn't make that clear, but he was thanking her for saving him, not exactly for taking him to Vallerie.

About Laura, I honestly hadn't thought that way, while I wanted badly to give her an impression of someone provocative and a slightly mysterious, I ended up leaving the player with very few choices indeed. I will definitely pay more attention to this and change some things. Did you feel that way about any other characters?

Thanks for the feedback!

Great seeing you here active. Hello.
The only other inconsistency I found confusing. Is the slave crest, supposed to be working with Maliel too. If yes, then Why? And If No, then why did it work on her in the beginning.

I like the renders I love Koikatsu, and it is fitting for your story. I am okay with the story so far and I like the premise. I think you're aiming for something light-hearted, what I prefer.
But the MC so far is not immersive enough for a game. Good enough for a Comic, but not for a game. IMO

As I played the game, I was stunned, what you're wanting to do in the Future. In essence, you want an VN playing like an RPG. While this sound good, it certainly is. But in my experience with other games and Developers, this will be a Resource monster for you. Be aware that this can become very convoluted for you to develop. A lot of devs have failed. But that's up to you, of course. I recommend a little bit simpler approach especially for you first project. If I have seen it right every girl will become at least 2 routes. Give the player agency with 3 routes for the MC and the choice to reject girls with kinks they don't like.

The Femdom thing concern I agree with look-see . It is a good thing to see character growth, and he is weak. But the downside of bringing up periodic updates is how much patience we should have to see an MC with whom we could relate and have fun with. If this is not a game with a focus on Femdom it has to be dealt with and for me ASAP. If not, some girls will be burned for the audience, and that maybe not your intention. If it is your intention, then it is all good.
An example: Let's say you aiming for one Update every 3 Month and Let's say you need 3 Updates for char development of the MC to get rid of the slave crest.
Which means Maledom and vanilla people don't need to play your game until spring 2022 and Femdom guys and gals like Aseratrix won't even start playing your game.

"do i wanna sit through all this slave/humiliation stuff to see that?"

This.

For potential subscribers, how many months do you aim for an update?
That was a lot of sorry, but somehow you asked for it . I see a lot of potential in this game and you. So good luck. I mean it.
I will stay and watching.

 

[BlasKyau]

Neither, the focus of the game will not be femdom nor maledom, but these characteristics will be present. I will give femdom and maledom options for you to choose in certain situations. In the current state of the game, it is inevitable that the femdom aspect is more present, of course due to the MC's slave situation. However, my goal is that he develops, becomes stronger and more dominant.

Each girl will have her own path, personalities and fetishes, and femdom and maledom will not be present in all of them.

As for future tags, you can expect: romance, lesbian, exhibitionism, group sex, voyeurism, spanking, blackmail and more.

I don't like maledom or femdom (not really any kind of domination). From what I've read the beginning of the game has quite a bit of the latter.

If the game isn't going to be femdom-centric, I'll wait for that to really happen before starting it; and better if it can be with a saved game that starts after finishing all the mandatory femdom.

For the rest, of the tags you have included, I'm only interested in romance and group sex (MC with some LIs).

Hope lesbian, spanking, blackmail are avoidable

Oh no, it was clear, I 100% understood that he was thanking her for saving his life but we go back to the matter of his personality, the problem is that this “thank you” comes after he already meet Vallerie and chatted with Maliel in which he learned numerous things :


1.- Vallerie lied to him
2.- Vallerie used him
3.- Vallerie enslaved him (and since he now is a slave and has to remain in the “club” 4.- She kidnapped him)
5.- Vallerie tortured him into submission
6.- Vallerie has put him into forced labor since he has to obey or suffer the consequences
7.- Maliel has worked for Vallerie for sometime and knows what kind of person she is
8.- Maliel knew that Vallerie was planning something with him, maybe not at the beginning but certainly after following her orders and seeing that it was him; And most than likely knew that it involved the slavery since Mal has being working with Val for a while.

Vallerie and Malliel are completely ruled out as LIs, and I hope the MC can reject them in the future. I don't know if Vallerie intends to be LI, but personally I will never see her as such.

I like the renders I love Koikatsu, and it is fitting for your story. I am okay with the story so far. I think you're aiming for something light-hearted, what I prefer.
But the MC so far is not immersive enough for a game. Good enough for a Comic, but not for a game. IMO

I have come to see the game just for this, I like Koikatsu art.

The Femdom thing concern I agree with look-see . It is a good thing to see character growth, and he is weak. But the downside of bringing up periodic updates is how much patience we should have to see an MC with whom we could relate and have fun with. If this is not a game with a focus on Femdom it has to be dealt with and for me ASAP. If not, some girls will be burned for the audience, and that maybe not your intention. If it is your intention, then it is all good.
An example: Let's say you aiming for one Update every 3 Month and Let's say you need 3 Updates for char development of the MC to get rid of the slave crest.
Which means Maledom and vanilla people don't need to play your game until spring 2022 and Femdom guy and gals like Aseratrix won't start playing your game.

Personally, I'm not going to see all the girls who participate in mandatory femdom as LI. Valerie and Malliel are out. I don't know if it's the intention of the Dev, but it's what he has achieved in my case. Laura is another LI who is going to be completely rejected as soon as I have a chance to do so.

 

[I am Gone]

Neither, the focus of the game will not be femdom nor maledom, but these characteristics will be present. I will give femdom and maledom options for you to choose in certain situations. In the current state of the game, it is inevitable that the femdom aspect is more present, of course due to the MC's slave situation. However, my goal is that he develops, becomes stronger and more dominant.

Each girl will have her own path, personalities and fetishes, and femdom and maledom will not be present in all of them.

As for future tags, you can expect: romance, lesbian, exhibitionism, group sex, voyeurism, spanking, blackmail and more.

Added future tags to the thread.

 

[Dvvalin]

Game has potential to be top tier! Keep up the good work dev ElusiveDreams

 

[ElusiveDreams]

Oh no, it was clear, I 100% understood that he was thanking her for saving his life but we go back to the matter of his personality, the problem is that this “thank you” comes after he already meet Vallerie and chatted with Maliel in which he learned numerous things :


And despite him knowing all of this, he just thanks her for saving his life, without asking questions like :

“Did you knew that she was gonna enslave me?”
“Why didn’t you lie? why didn’t you brought me to a safe place or a hospital, said that the mission was a failure and I was dead?”

As if he was completely okay with all the abuse above and it was not a big deal.

I see, this goes back to the problem of inconsistency in the protagonist's personality which I will definitely be paying more attention to, and of course my failure to write these parts, while I thought these questions would be implied, reading again, they really aren't.

Regarding the MC, I will be focusing on adjusting his personality and giving him more actions and determination.

But the MC so far is not immersive enough for a game. Good enough for a Comic, but not for a game. IMO

Interesting that you pointed this out, I actually read a lot of adult comics and it might have affected the way I built him.

As I played the game, I was stunned, what you're wanting to do in the Future. In essence, you want an VN playing like an RPG. While this sound good, it certainly is. But in my experience with other games and Developers, this will be a Resource monster for you. Be aware that this can become very convoluted for you to develop. A lot of devs have failed. But that's up to you, of course. I recommend a little bit simpler approach especially for you first project. If I have seen it right every girl will become at least 2 routes. Give the player agency with 3 routes for the MC and the choice to reject girls with kinks they don't like.

I understand that it can become a somewhat troubled experience for me, especially considering this is my first project, however I also want to use it as a lab to improve and try to always go a step further. Of course I don't want to bite off more than I can chew, so far I feel I can manage what I plan, surely it won't come perfect and I'll be looking foward to doing better with time. Thanks for pointing this out, I will make sure not to promise what I cannot deliver.

For potential subscribers, how many months do you aim for an update?

As soon as I fix all inconsistencies with the game and get it on track my goal is to bring updates close to a monthly basis.

 

[ElusiveDreams]

"do i wanna sit through all this slave/humiliation stuff to see that?"

It is a good thing to see character growth, and he is weak. But the downside of bringing up periodic updates is how much patience we should have to see an MC with whom we could relate and have fun with. If this is not a game with a focus on Femdom it has to be dealt with and for me ASAP.

If the game isn't going to be femdom-centric, I'll wait for that to really happen before starting it; and better if it can be with a saved game that starts after finishing all the mandatory femdom.

Although I prefer a slow approach and gradual development, I can understand what you mean, I will be looking for ways to accelerate this process in a non-abrupt way, I think the changes in the inconsistency of the protagonist's personality will help with this.

Personally, I'm not going to see all the girls who participate in mandatory femdom as LI. Valerie and Malliel are out. I don't know if it's the intention of the Dev, but it's what he has achieved in my case. Laura is another LI who is going to be completely rejected as soon as I have a chance to do so.

Sorry but I'm not familiar with the meaning of "LI", what does that mean?

 

[I am Gone]

Although I prefer a slow approach and gradual development, I can understand what you mean, I will be looking for ways to accelerate this process in a non-abrupt way, I think the changes in the inconsistency of the protagonist's personality will help with this.



Sorry but I'm not familiar with the meaning of "LI", what does that mean?

love interest

 

[BlasKyau]

I edit and delete the comment because I think some people have taken this post too seriously

Sorry but I'm not familiar with the meaning of "LI", what does that mean?

They have already answered this question, yes, it is Love Interest.

 

[Deleted member 3208170]

(and if possible take revenge on the former in a non-sexual and very cruel way)

Did you even play the game?

 

[BlasKyau]

Did you even play the game?

Enough to know that I hate her.

The first meeting with Vallerie has been enough that I want to see her suffer greatly and horribly.

It's not that I've continued the game much longer, all I know is that I don't want her, Malliel, and Vallerie's stupid and obnoxious maid (Laura) as LIs in any way.

 

[Deleted member 3208170]

Enough to know that I hate her.

The first meeting with Vallerie has been enough that I want to see her suffer greatly and horribly.

It's not that I've continued the game much longer, all I know is that I don't want her, Malliel, and Vallerie's stupid and obnoxious maid (Laura) as LIs in any way.

If that's your feelings. That's 3 out of 4 LIs. And rather extreme for what is shown.
While I think it is erotic to turn the table on Valerie. I highly doubt that you can be violent to all of them.
Seriously, the enslavement is a huge part of the story, and you will, as always, skip that part. Which means the story would make no sense for you.
The inconsistencies with the MC will be worked on, as ElusiveDreams have stated, but the story arc of enslavement and fight for freedom will stay. The enslavement isn't even meant to be sexual, it is like watching Spartacus, Ben Hur or Fast and the furious 2. The MC fucked up and is forced into service, nothing more.
If you can't deal with that, I strongly recommend you to move on and play another game then.

 

[BlasKyau]

If that's your feelings. That's 3 out of 4 LIs. And rather extreme for what is shown.
While I think it is erotic to turn the table on Valerie. I highly doubt that you can be violent to all of them.
Seriously, the enslavement is a huge part of the story, and you will, as always, skip that part. Which means the story would make no sense for you.
The inconsistencies with the MC will be worked on, as ElusiveDreams dreams have stated, but the story arc of enslavement and fight for freedom will stay. The enslavement isn't even meant to be sexual, it is like watching Spartacus, Ben Hur or Fast and the furious 2. The MC fucked up and is forced into service, nothing more.
If you can't deal with that, I strongly recommend you to move on and play another game then.

For me one LI is enough as long as she doesn't have some fetish that I don't like.

I'm not a fan of "turning the tables": I don't like femdom or maledom. So I don't want Vallerie as LI. Personally, the only way I can see that I like to "turn the tables" is to make her a slave and torture her like she did the MC; nothing sexual. In fact, I don't want anything sexual with her. And it's not so much slavery as torture or whatever they do to the MC in the first meeting.

In any case, I guess I'll listen to you and skip the game

Edit: I'm going to wait for the MC to evolve and get rid of Vallerie to play the game. I don't think I'll play it again until then. As it was, the comment didn't express well what I was going to do.

 

[wümpa-lümpa]

The game is in early state, not femdom at all, not rly mal dom too, just the start of a game for now, don't be trigger by the fact you need some progeression, if having a woman superior to you in a video game because youre caracter loose everything and work for one kind of mafia to keep staying alive, with the mind to not stay controlled by them, trigger you, youre maybe the prob, and if you find it more normal to work for male mafia, i mean jeez this is total hypocrisy, and you maybe have inner gay probleme.

When i start play skyrim and everyone call me a "dick" because i just start the game i'm not saying * UUUr duur this bdsm game with femdom and all* no, i play i grow up, and i fus do rah them.

Casual video game : start as scumb, finnish as hero

 

[TentacleVillain]

If you're hoping to avoid incest, well technically this doesn't have it but the characters mom is shown right before a sexual scene so it still has that similar effect.

 

[Aseratrix]

For me one LI is enough as long as she doesn't have some fetish that I don't like.

I'm not a fan of "turning the tables": I don't like femdom or maledom. So I don't want Vallerie as LI. Personally, the only way I can see that I like to "turn the tables" is to make her a slave and torture her like she did the MC; nothing sexual. In fact, I don't want anything sexual with her. And it's not so much slavery as torture or whatever they do to the MC in the first meeting.

In any case, I guess I'll listen to you and skip the game.

But why protest every game with femdom in it? Can't we femdom lovers have some games too?

 

[BlasKyau]

But why protest every game with femdom in it? Can't we femdom lovers have some games too?

I don't know whether to call what happens femdom or torture, I lean towards the latter.

 

[Deleted member 3208170]

I don't know whether to call what happens femdom or torture, I lean towards the latter.

One thing don't exclude the other. In this case, it isn't even meant to be sexual. She was not torturing him. She set him up for failing and force him into service.
I don't like sexual Femdom, but this is a plot driven boss. That is Okay.
Can you even watch Star Trek Voyager or Game of Thrones?
Dominant women, reasonable and crazy, but needed for the plot.

What I wonder, and it grabbed my attention too. You are in every game, be it Maldom(Me) or Femdom(Aseratrix) and complain about it. This and sorry, but I am very direct to you now, annoys me. It seems you do that on purpose and I don't get your motives.
I am always for freedom of speech. But this is misleading people.
If I see a game with tagged Femdom on it, I look in the thread if it is avoidable through choices, if not I put it on Ignore. End of Line. I only complain if it is not tagged right or tags are missing. Do the same thing and just ignore these games then.

 

[Deleted member 3208170]

Back to this game. It has a female Boss which forces you into service with a magical device. It is an game with an Anime story and therfore with Anime logic.

I mean look at this. This is cute.

I want to discuss with her the advantages of Atheism.
My believes that the Human Body is made for ecstasy and the deep meaning of Power Metal.

 

[Aseratrix]

Back to this game. It has a female Boss which forces you into service with a magical device. It is an game with an Anime story and therfore with Anime logic.

I mean look at this. This is cute.
View attachment 1307298
I want to discuss with her the advantages of Atheism.
My believes that the Human Body is made for ecstasy and the deep meaning of Power Metal.

Cute indeed!

 

[BlasKyau]

One thing don't exclude the other. In this case, it isn't even meant to be sexual. She was not torturing him. She set him up for failing and force him into service.
I don't like sexual Femdom, but this is a plot driven boss. That is Okay.
Can you even watch Star Trek Voyager or Game of Thrones?
Dominant women, reasonable and crazy, but needed for the plot.

What I wonder, and it grabbed my attention too. You are in every game, be it Maldom(Me) or Femdom(Aseratrix) and complain about it. This and sorry, but I am very direct to you now, annoys me. It seems you do that on purpose and I don't get your motives.
I am always for freedom of speech. But this is misleading people.
If I see a game with tagged Femdom on it, I look in the thread if it is avoidable through choices, if not I put it on Ignore. End of Line. I only complain if it is not tagged right or tags are missing. Do the same thing and just ignore these games then.

I don't think I go into all threads of femdom or maledom. It seems to me that most of it I directly ignore them without even trying the game.

But I don't think I have to explain to you why I enter a thread or not. If you don't like it, then you can always include me on your ignore list so you don't read my comments.

In any case I'm sorry that it bothers you, but I will continue to enter the threads that I feel like and for the reasons that I consider appropriate, which I suppose I don't have to explain.