And just to add what the screen name said in that link before i move it to the Download section, it said when i launch the game A Renpy Game and not Devine Dawn with it's game icon just before the name of that game, if i do that again some day, i will send you a screen shot of what i am talking about
Ren'Py Divine Dawn [v0.30] [Cryswar]
- Jul 25, 2018
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Interesting... I honestly have no idea why the path would act so weirdly, I tested with a few weirdish paths and didn't have issues so I assumed it was fine. Thank you for testing that, and sorry for the trouble!
But who could possibly want a tomboy girlfriend?! Oh right, fucking everyone. Don't worry, awkward romance is coming!
When i end up having Lustful Desires in the same path, it works just fine, but this game does not seem to work like all the other Renpy games, hopefully it can be fixed in the future with this problem, but you keep on making new updates and stuffs for it over time, taking breaks every now and then in case you get worn out or exhausted over time from doing this before resuming it later on after getting enough energy back to do so, the game can be really good in the future.
- Jul 25, 2018
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Oi, it's also important to show the relationship(as childhood friends, for now) between Astaroth and Samantha(Female Sam), for instance, they can call either other by nicknames "Asta" by Samantha and "Sam" by Astaroth.
I would also like if say we gotta have a default appearance for Astaroth, he should be having short black hair with blue eyes in contrast to Sam's red eyes and long blond hair. Also if we making them both Magic Swordsmans. Asta should be Water element and Sam is Fire element in order to balance either other's weaknesses and strengths.
I also think Asta's personality also can be on "smart-calm" side while Sam can be on "dumb-loud" side.
At least that's the vibe I'm getting from those two, can be just me reading too much into it. But for now this is my headcanon.
Interesting ideas! I... MIGHT be able to do a nickname feature using substrings, actually. That's a good idea. Initials too, and, mm, I'd probably have to let people pick 2-5 characters from their full name, or just enter their preferred nickname, we'll see how that goes. I'll see if I can fit it in 0.2.Oi, it's also important to show the relationship(as childhood friends, for now) between Astaroth and Samantha(Female Sam), for instance, they can call either other by nicknames "Asta" by Samantha and "Sam" by Astaroth.
I would also like if say we gotta have a default appearance for Astaroth, he should be having short black hair with blue eyes in contrast to Sam's red eyes and long blond hair. Also if we making them both Magic Swordsmans. Asta should be Water element and Sam is Fire element in order to balance either other's weaknesses and strengths.
I also think Asta's personality also can be on "smart-calm" side while Sam can be on "dumb-loud" side.
At least that's the vibe I'm getting from those two, can be just me reading too much into it. But for now this is my headcanon.
Admittedly MC appearance I have been intentionally vague on to let people self insert themselves better - I suppose I could go full CoC with letting people pick every aspect in detail down to their 16' magnum dong, but that's a lot of work and text swaps in scenes lol, and idk how many people actually care vs leaving it vague enough to imagine an idealized version of themselves. But your headcanon sounds pretty reasonable to me, MC is definitely the Blue Oni of the Blue Oni/Red Oni pair, directing Sam's aggression and being the tactician of the two to some degree.
Also, you might be happy to know that I started the first scene in the Sam romance storyline last night. It'll definitely be a slower burn than the succubi for obvious reasons, but the time has come and so have I. No word yet on whether she'll react to the first H scene with 'nice cock, bro!'
- Jul 25, 2018
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Hey, it's all cool bro. It's your game after all so you should be able to direct its development however you want, I'm just giving my thoughts on how things look/(could)develop from my point of view.
If you want my opinion, I don't think you need to start describing your left foot pinky's print. But at least we should have an option to choose at least basics for their profile, like: Black/Blond/Ginger(Redhead) for hair, Blue/Red/Green for eyes, Light/Dark/Medium(Tan) for skin, or if as you said, some people want to be 100% self-insert or you don't want to have to spend your time pointing out MC's body parts in some scenes and just be like "'Asta's hand got a huge scat from Corrupted Boar." or "MC's sock went right into it" instead of "Asta's tanned legs were tired from all that running he had to endure in his childhood" etc then a fourth option that basically ignores Asta's appearance altogether like "I couldn't bother..." dialogue option at the beginning could work.
On a side note, while I chuckled at the prologue dialogue between Asta(Should I distinguish us and MC?) and Sam felt a little bit cringe, like as if some 13 starting socialize for the first time or started writing comments on YouTube. Maybe some more earth downed dialogue fitting the fantasy world they are in right now? Also, I believe some text from the "Heaven" were so long they didn't fit into the dialogue box for me, or I was too lazy to read it all and skipped it. Perhaps you can cut/separate/shorten location's descriptions?
Also, you might be happy to know that I started the first scene in the Sam romance storyline last night.
Monkey brain goes: "neuron activation".
No word yet on whether she'll react to the first H scene with 'nice cock, bro!'
Aww...
Would you mind explaining that further? It was casual banter between two overconfident teenage bros so some degree of immaturity was definitely intended, but it sounds like it came off worse than that to you. So if you are willing to explain what about it in particular you disliked, I can try and tone that down a bit.
- Jul 25, 2018
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Give me a couple of hours to re-download the game for detailed analysis. It's 12:53 pm and I need that sleep. Good night.
Haha, sure. Sleep well!Give me a couple of hours to re-download the game for detailed analysis. It's 12:53 pm and I need that sleep. Good night.
- Jul 25, 2018
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Done. So once again this is just my opinion bla bla bla... I'm the only one who feels/cares about it so far, and maybe their others who disagree/don't care about it as I, so the ultimate decision lace within you yare yare...
So, I quickly skirmish through the prologue part and I have to say it felt less cringy the second time around mainly due to cringy parts coming from Sam's part who as I established in my head is a bit of an idiot with Asta as you said trying to bounce her snarky remarks with occasional profanity due to brohh energy.
My main concern mostly comes from the slang, and overused profanity, I guess. Words like "Bruh", "S'pposed", "Chill" feels like something from our bittersweet 21 century and not a fantasy land of questionable year which I don't feel like should belong there. Again, I think it's fine using modern slangs in fiction for comic relief, but it feels so silly in contrast to some more serious stuff that could come up next in the future like Undead Boars or War. Not to mention the constant use of word like "Fuck", "Shit" from Sam as of now feel like an attempt of a kid to "fit in" cool kids group or trying to act like an adult from someone who is supposedly and Magic Swordsman academy or whatnot.
Oh, and I don't know how I feel about narrative trope lampshading in the forest
Then again, 'Humor' IS in tags soooo.... I.... Igotnothing. Maybe I'm taking it too seriously, after all, maybe it will all work out after some developments. Peace ya ll.
Hey, I asked for a reason. I always appreciate constructive criticism, even if it's not what I want to hear or I end up disagreeing with it, I will always be grateful to anyone who is willing to give honest concrit beyond just 'this sucks lol'. This is my first game, and my first attempt at writing for an audience other than RP buddies or collaborative fiction with friends; I know it's not gonna be perfect.Done. So once again this is just my opinion bla bla bla... I'm the only one who feels/cares about it so far, and maybe their others who disagree/don't care about it as I, so the ultimate decision lace within you yare yare...
So, I quickly skirmish through the prologue part and I have to say it felt less cringy the second time around mainly due to cringy parts coming from Sam's part who as I established in my head is a bit of an idiot with Asta as you said trying to bounce her snarky remarks with occasional profanity due to brohh energy.
My main concern mostly comes from the slang, and overused profanity, I guess. Words like "Bruh", "S'pposed", "Chill" feels like something from our bittersweet 21 century and not a fantasy land of questionable year which I don't feel like should belong there. Again, I think it's fine using modern slangs in fiction for comic relief, but it feels so silly in contrast to some more serious stuff that could come up next in the future like Undead Boars or War. Not to mention the constant use of word like "Fuck", "Shit" from Sam as of now feel like an attempt of a kid to "fit in" cool kids group or trying to act like an adult from someone who is supposedly and Magic Swordsman academy or whatnot.
Oh, and I don't know how I feel about narrative trope lampshading in the forest
Then again, 'Humor' IS in tags soooo.... I.... Igotnothing. Maybe I'm taking it too seriously, after all, maybe it will all work out after some developments. Peace ya ll.
Yes, Sam is a brash, foul-mouthed idiot. They get a bit better in 0.2 when they realize just how much they fucked up, but growth takes time so they're not gonna change overnight.
The slang is a... fair point, honestly. It's a bit of an anachronistic world, some aspects are very much 1600-1700s medieval fantasy, others are more modern, with technology and culture that varies wildly between countries; some are near-modern or beyond, many are further in the past, and magic has led to very different priorities. Realistically, Ashley and Sarah probably should be talking in near-incomprehensible slang due to >800 years of linguistic evolution. I am trying to find a balance between 'easy to read/understand/empathize' and 'fitting for the setting', but it sounds like I could stand to improve further. So I will keep that in mind!
Thank you again for taking the time to offer detailed feedback, I appreciate it. 0.2 is much less memetastic and should be out Monday/Tuesday sometime, hopefully that version of Sam will retain what you like about her without as much of the downsides.
- Dec 16, 2019
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It would be cool if you could implement a sumbissive-dominant scale, so that you can play either as a sub or a dom, and also choose your sex. Don't know how hard it would be tho, or whether you would like to do something like that. I think it would be great.
- Aug 7, 2019
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I'm noticing right away from the preview images there is quite a few typos. The grammar is nice, but it has a lot of incorrect words peppered through the descriptions. Is this something that is fixed/addressed or is it something prevalent? How often are these errors, because I've seen several just in the previews, which...doesn't bode well. Also how much femdom is actually in this? Does it have a legit theme, you can play submissively or is it just tacked on for a scene or two?
I would love to include a player gender option, but it would add an enormous amount of work to revamp scenes for it. Doing it for Sam has already been a struggle. I'll say it's a maybe-eventual thing.
Right now there are some sub-dom dialogue options, though not a lot. Similar to the female thing, writing multiple versions of scenes is a goal - Ashley's home scene has two major variants based on if you went with her in the temple, and Sarah's second has some minor changes - but I'm not confident I can provide completely different sub-dom mechanics in a reasonable timeframe. I will keep both requests in mind, and at least try to ensure there are more dominant and submissive options in the meantime.
More specific examples would be helpful. What did you see that you thought was wrong? What do you mean by 'incorrect words' exactly? I try to catch typos but I don't doubt that I missed a few.
As for your second question; it's definitely not a pure hard-femdom game or anything, if that's what you were asking. The extent of 'female domination' varies. Ashley's first scene is, and people asked me to include the tag based on that. Sarah's first scene is... partially there, but not fully, YMMV based on how hard you want your femdom. As I mention above responding to Aseratrix, the game is intended to have a variety of options, with a mix of more female dominant, male dominant, or mutual scenes based on the part and the player's choices.
The game is still pretty early on in development, so it's like, 1-1.5 scenes out of 4. I don't know what the eventual ratio will be. There will definitely be some... harder female domination content in the future, but only when it's appropriate for the characters and storyline.
- Aug 27, 2020
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What kind of Monster girls are we talking about here?
The vanilla bunny & cat girl kind?
The ones based off of real mythology, but made cute?
Or something truly monsterous, like creatures from Teraurge?
The vanilla bunny & cat girl kind?
The ones based off of real mythology, but made cute?
Or something truly monsterous, like creatures from Teraurge?
A mixture of the first two categories. The planned characters mostly range from your vanilla/'cosplay tier' monster girls to a middle ground where it's a humanoid torso/head with the rest of their body partially or fully monstrous, with talons/claws etc. Several of them are heavily based on mythology, like the griffon and lamia, others are your archetypal succubi, foxgirls, etc.
Early on (especially in 0.1/0.2) you're mostly running into humans and demihumans, with a pretty weird slime to round it out in either 0.3 or 0.4. Down the road there are a few on the more fully monstrous end, but it's not a primary focus of the game.
I'm not familiar with Teraurge for comparisons, sorry, but I wouldn't expect much in the wise of really monstrous or full on furry stuff, or CoC-flavor body horror.
- Aug 7, 2019
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Weird, I know I saw more than this when I was first looking at them, but here is the errors from the preview screens:
second preview picture: "Have had" should be "Has had"
Fourth preview picture: "later teens" should be "late teens" "She hops to the edge of the stares" should be "she hops to the edge of the stairs"
...and I really don't get it. I really was sure I saw more than that, maybe I'm going crazy from being overworked. Either way, if its just a few slips like this, that's fine with me.
For me personally, I like being the "nice guy" if I can't play submissively. I even have a hard time with games like Star Wars: KOTR playing dark side. I'm just horrible with being evil/mean/dominate/anything like that. So its fun/better for me to know that the game has that kind of tone before I really get into it. Femdom is totally my jam, I don't expect the game to be loaded with it, but as long as I can submit from time to time or at least play friendly, I'm pretty good with that.
.......That's embarrassing, two different people have caught the 'stares' typo already, I fixed it like a week ago, and forgot about the damn screenshots. Now my shame is doubled.
I thought 'have had' was appropriate in that usage, though. The sentence is essentially 'they... have had your back'; 'they... has had your back' sounds wrong to me.
That said, 100% real talk with you dude, there will be typos. I don't have a proofreader, I just try to play through content and catch stuff that looks wrong. I am trying to minimize them though, scout's honor.
I get you on the dark side thing. I'm kinda similar, I managed 1 dark side KOTOR playthrough and 0 renegade ME series playthroughs out of god knows how many good/neutral runs. Used a mod to have my Paragon femshep rock the Renegade face in ME2, though, god that was cool.
Anyways, 100% blunt; the game is mostly focused on consent - you're not gonna get raped by an angry tentacle tree out of the blue - but there will be a wide variety of femdom and some maledom within that general range. I can definitely guarantee plenty of opportunities to be submissive, especially with several forward succubi to recruit.
The MC is SORT of their own character - a well-meaning but somewhat immature young adult - with the player able to decide their dialogue choices within that general framework. Think, like, a really budget version of ME Shepard or Witcher Geralt. So there isn't really a 'huge asshole' playthrough option, because the character wouldn't do that (and OOC, because I don't want to write that - no judgement to anyone that enjoys it). I'm trying to find a good balance of snarky, serious, and horndog dialogue options for people that don't want to just be a generic JRPG hero, though.
- Aug 7, 2019
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And you would be correct....except that's not what is written. "They are a valued part of your life" if you ended it there, you'd be correct. Because you connected it with "and" the subject "they" is still the main reference with no need to state them again, meaning after "and" is their actions (so while talking about them, its still independent. You can literally make two sentences out of that one). I'm not sure I'm explaining it well, I'm a bit burned out to look up the exact reasoning, but basically how you think its worded vs how it is broken up isn't the same because of the use of "and".
I get that, finding good proofreaders is tough and its really not possible to edit your own work without being highly inefficient. You'd need to take literally at minimum 2-3 day breaks before re-reading the script, since your brain will automatically fill in what you intended since you wrote it. That's why its important to have other people check over work
I mean...It's not like you can't have femdom without consent. In fact, a lot of the femdom portrayed in games is basically just abuse, but its overlooked being fantasy and all. I think consensual femdom is not only really hot, but its pretty healthy too. Plus its not like it needs to be BDSM like a lot of people seem to mix it up with, just having an assertive girl who likes to lead a bit and take charge is hot in its own fashion. She doesn't need to be a domme to get horny and want you to go down on her if its something you're willing to do and close with them. Anyway, I'm going off on a huge tangent there.
^I appreciate this approach quite a bit. Like I said, I don't mind having options or moments where the MC does things that are appropriate, sometimes events just seem to flow that way. One minute you're buying her a drink, the next you're giving her a spanking and somehow helping her through daddy issues. Having the ability to choose all the different things you're talking about is great. Hard to write over time when it gets too in-depth, but honestly its fine on a scene to scene basis. Some things just fit.