VN Ren'Py Onhold Dream [v0.02] [CN]

[Thedude715]

I know but I can't hire one

Hey dude it is out of curiosity, you're saying i need a proff reader, but german guy read my vn and said it is not a masterpiece writing buthe understands and evn donated a good amount (I'm not lying) can you tell me why you think it need proofreading like i didn't understand, what to what kind of English do i use ?
can you please answer these questions

The structure building of the sentences are really bad, spelling is off.... and so on, nothing personal but in short going by the novel and your replies on here you are just not good enough at english to make a visual novel in english whitout assistance.

To make it clear I have no problem with the story as you seem to have misinterpreted me as saying.
Make whatever story you want.

 

[qljrnt6jc4eh2]

4 pages of text and chat and still no review? Come on guys. Give yourself a little push, I'm curious.

 

[CN_69]

4 pages of text and chat and still no review? Come on guys. Give yourself a little push, I'm curious.

why don't you give one, Then. I too curious to see if this vn can gain audience

 

[qljrnt6jc4eh2]

why don't you give one, Then. I too curious to see if this vn can gain audience

Simply because I did not play it. And my guess is that at least 3/5 ppl participating in this thread are talking about ingame stuff, because they did play that game already. Got it?

 

[VN..reader]

seriously... not sure if this is made by 13 yr old who is a genius, but embedded deeply in "TODAY's" social culture, or a Much Older , child, that is trying to come out of his shell. he's doing a smashing good job of putting together what is starting to be a well written, clever, dare i say Original story. the graghics are new the renders are good. and the Use of the "Superpowers" tag may be the best yet in these kind of VN's
However, the editing is Bad...SO Bad that it is almost funny. Translation . . Engrish is no work here, it is so bad. i had to pause and reread Many lines while looking at the scene so i could get it. and i did. but. . . i'm a boomer. but i don't think i'm alone in this. there is So very much that i like about this, that i really want you to succeed at this. the More Cultured of us PERV's is that we don't give up on one of our own.

 

[CN_69]

hey bro did you try the patch (patch is solely for English) I think you should try the patch (If you think an AI do a good working in writing dialogue you should try this patch and I"M 13 or not old I just come into my adult age. )

 

[VN..reader]

hey bro did you try the patch (patch is solely for English) I think you should try the patch (If you think an AI do a good working in writing dialogue you should try this patch and I"M 13 or not old I just come into my adult age. )

applying patch for play-thru 2 ...

 

[rafa30]

First girl
More...
I like

 

[Tyxo]

Will be there android port?

 

[Beerus]

wtf just made by whole work look like nothing. It is my fault to upload the game here, one guys wants incest. I have tio make it for him otherwise he will I'm bad
otherwise I'm bad guy.

other guy tell fake rumours game is taking 99% cpu. if I talk about it I'm a asshole and child throwing a tantrum for any criticism

bro in this thread in this fucking thread 70% people talking about incest remaining 20 percent fake comment and 5 percent are the supporter of fake comments

I can't talk
u can't say anything
if I talk I'm the bad guy.

Thanks for the warm welcome. This website is going is insane every day, and I caught up in one of the day

bro in this thread in this fucking thread 70% people talking about incest remaining 20 percent fake comment and 5 percent are the supporter of fake comments

Okay, first 70%...
+ another 20%... Okay, that's 90%, uh huh...
+ a final 5%, putting us at 95%...

Uh, dev, did the remaining 5% get lost in translation, like seemingly everything else?

 

[CN_69]

Sex scenes are still in the rendering stage, so I've decided to release the story first. If you have the time, I kindly request you to visit my Patreon and Twitter accounts. I understand that it may seem like extra effort to open another tab, but I would greatly appreciate it if you could give it a chance. Thank you for your wonderful comments, as well as any critical feedback. I've grown accustomed to receiving both.

If you enjoy the content, I humbly ask you to consider becoming a patron on Patreon. However, if you're unable to do so due to financial circumstances, I would greatly appreciate it if you could share and review my work.


I'm a bit puzzled by some of the comments on this website. We have previews available for people to see and determine if they appreciate the art style or 3D visuals. Nonetheless, there are still individuals who complain about the art style. If you are aware of any websites that may be a better fit for my work, I kindly request that you direct me to them. Thank you sincerely.

 

[Zephea]

Am I correct in thinking that being in the Gym with Jo, Sana and 'my friends' is the end of .02? I cannot seem to go anywhere else and all of the places I can click say 'where should I go next'.
AHH - maybe never mind - found the Stairs finally. Not real intuitive!

 

[CN_69]

Am I correct in thinking that being in the Gym with Jo, Sana and 'my friends' is the end of .02? I cannot seem to go anywhere else and all of the places I can click say 'where should I go next'.
AHH - maybe never mind - found the Stairs finally. Not real intuitive!

These guys didn't put this beta version. i will change this to choice based in final version of 0.02 at the end of this month

 

[IDontGetWomen]

I cannot tell if it's me not being able to read english all of a sudden or what, but nothing I read made an ounce of sense. Like I had to fully stop playing because I genuinely couldn't understand what the fuck was happening.

 

[CN_69]

I cannot tell if it's me not being able to read english all of a sudden or what, but nothing I read made an ounce of sense. Like I had to fully stop playing because I genuinely couldn't understand what the fuck was happening.

Well bro let me tell you this the English refined and corrected by Ai chat gpt and my 3 beta testers who are from West said this is the English they want, so if you still talk about English i have to become the who made the English so please leave it if didn't understand if you still doesn't trust me I can show my gpt chats with recorrecting or rephrased ai generated line

I hope have fine day and peace

 

[Saphfire]

So, first thing you need to do: add the option to change mc´s name!
If not, you can just give up all hope of support.

 

[korochan48]

The dialogue corresponding names are jumbled and there is a lot of it. English is understandable but still need improvement. It is called nephew if it's a male not niece.

 

[CN_69]

So, first thing you need to do: add the option to change mc´s name!
If not, you can just give up all hope of support.

The name holds significant importance in the story. If you're considering a name change, perhaps opting for a middle name-based choice. However, please note that "Dream" remains the original name for the MC. If you're not satisfied with that choice, it's alright, I understand it may affect in gaining support.

 

[CN_69]

I don't think he was talking about whether you thought the story was good or bad. He just wanted to emphasize that someone else thought it was a good story along with it being "understandable". Probably. Idk.

At any rate, this whole conversation saved me some trouble. I don't think I could make it through the first 5 minutes of this game based on what I've read so far. Thanks.

P.S.
To the dev. Have you tried using Grammarly?

bro did you played the latest version english is understandable and

I don't think he was talking about whether you thought the story was good or bad. He just wanted to emphasize that someone else thought it was a good story along with it being "understandable". Probably. Idk.

At any rate, this whole conversation saved me some trouble. I don't think I could make it through the first 5 minutes of this game based on what I've read so far. Thanks.

P.S.
To the dev. Have you tried using Grammarly?

"If you have played the latest version, you'll find that the English has been improved. If you still have any concerns, you can choose not to play the game. Perhaps you were interested in the overview, which is why you downloaded it. Additionally, the English dialogue has been corrected and rephrased by AI Chat GPT, so it should be more understandable now. One person mentioned that the English is comprehensible. If you are responding to comments regarding the older version, it might not be relevant anymore. I am confident that the English in this version (v0.02 beta) is clear and understandable. If you have any further comments or need assistance with anything else, feel free to let me know. Goodbye and peace."

 

[Eagle1900]

Hello friends
i downloaded the folder from mega and when i go to unzip it from 0.02, it pulls out 0.01 but is it an update, or a simple oversight by the dev to name it?
thank you all and happy Sunday