VN Ren'Py Abandoned Dream [v0.02] [CN]

[Zephea]

Am I correct in thinking that being in the Gym with Jo, Sana and 'my friends' is the end of .02? I cannot seem to go anywhere else and all of the places I can click say 'where should I go next'.
AHH - maybe never mind - found the Stairs finally. Not real intuitive!

 

[IDontGetWomen]

I cannot tell if it's me not being able to read english all of a sudden or what, but nothing I read made an ounce of sense. Like I had to fully stop playing because I genuinely couldn't understand what the fuck was happening.

 

[Saphfire]

So, first thing you need to do: add the option to change mc´s name!
If not, you can just give up all hope of support.

 

[korochan48]

The dialogue corresponding names are jumbled and there is a lot of it. English is understandable but still need improvement. It is called nephew if it's a male not niece.

 

[Eagle1900]

Hello friends
i downloaded the folder from mega and when i go to unzip it from 0.02, it pulls out 0.01 but is it an update, or a simple oversight by the dev to name it?
thank you all and happy Sunday

 

[Deleted member 2342269]

Hello friends
i downloaded the folder from mega and when i go to unzip it from 0.02, it pulls out 0.01 but is it an update, or a simple oversight by the dev to name it?
thank you all and happy Sunday

it was supposed to be a beta update I thought let's put it like that when i released the main update with sex scenes then I will chnage it.

 

[Zemax]

Looks interesting.

 

[Evuhl669]

this seriously need a good english proofreader because can barely understand what people are saying in this game...

and no where in the english speaking universe is this english understandable sadly.. so far i actually like the story, but seriously get an proper english speaking person to help you out with proofreading and spelling and sentance creating because i think i speak for most people here that have problem reading it that it hurts our brains...

 

[GamleErik89]

AI Chat GPT

That right there is your problem. Seriously. ChatGPT is not reliable in the slightest without proper human QC(quality control), and should not be used for anything half-way serious. Also, ChatGPT has a strong tendency to just straight make shit up and add random shit. And even outright lie(or at least it did, not too long ago). ChatGPT is for fun, not work and script writing and/or grammar and sentence cleanup/structuring. The language quality is currenly poor.

The VN is interesting in concept, and I do hope it gets better, but the missing content early game is irksome, and the noticable AI correction makes it a hard read, as I got so tired of trying to make sense of most dialogue.

 

[LadySpider]

I want to start off by saying based on the thread, this is not a personal insult or an attack, but constructive criticism meant for you to improve this project of yours. The Chat AI is not accurate, I went through the entire game so far and there are simple mistakes such as period being where a comma should be, words not being capitalized after a period which can easily be overlooked, people wont care. But there are few instances where Dream or someone else has dialogue but can tell its supposed to be another character, and a couple of times where the sentences look jumbled.

This isn't a troll thing, this isn't me taking a jab at you or your game. You have native English speakers trying to inform you that there are grammatical issues with this novel that is making it difficult to follow. The story has promise, the characters look very good, I love the dragon queen and the dragon that can turn into a weapon. There is potential here but if you see criticism as attacks or trolls and not realize were trying to help you understand the issues to hopefully help improve your game. It's not to say everything isn't understandable, but it still needs work.

 

[IDontGetWomen]

let me clarify this grammatical errors not that much (still may be 10 to 80 lines not more than that it is probally becasue they are hard to convert them in gpt because of it's limitations) but this what is called name changes, one of the commenters told me about it in my personal chat It because code issue like rambo and rias are start with r so the issues rises from there and bro let me ask you this (bro you know what I don't take your comment as troll like if you didn't understand the grammer you won't get immerse in the story like in this particular version I used writtern language more than renders to tell the story.)

What you said has some meaning like it is understandable but it needs corrections and a human touch I agree

just compare your comment with remaining they are just saying english is not good we don't understand, those comments are not trolls but they re giving misgudience to new members that english not even good. that comments easily crushes teh audiences to play because they think english is not good at all

that is what I wnat to trying to say.

your comment gives me the criticism there comments are staright up misguidence like one of them saying tehy didn't even understand the language

I also want to ask you something leelaverse did you read my comments with eric 89 and other guy

tehy are generated by chat gpt too so you're saying they're not understable or you didn't bother trying to read.

Bro how are you going to come at people for giving the criticism that the english is bad and the story is basically impossible to understand. So many people have told you, including me, it's really bad and so many people have told you that an A.I is NOT going to fix the problem as it, is what's causing it in the first place. Hire a proofreader, get someone who speaks english that can translate your stuff into a readable state instead of coming on here and trying to push back at people for simply letting you know the flaws of your game.

 

[Deleted member 2342269]

Bro how are you going to come at people for giving the criticism that the english is bad and the story is basically impossible to understand. So many people have told you, including me, it's really bad and so many people have told you that an A.I is NOT going to fix the problem as it, is what's causing it in the first place. Hire a proofreader, get someone who speaks english that can translate your stuff into a readable state instead of coming on here and trying to push back at people for simply letting you know the flaws of your game.

Bro I'm askin one thing just give me 10 lines that are not good from my VN I'm asking 10 lines

the script is more than1000 lines yu said right you played the game just present me the flaws

not even 10 just 5

 

[GamleErik89]

bro did you even try to read what I gave like bro it

I did, and I finished it. That is why I wrote what I did. The fact is that you need a proper form of quality control pre- and post-process. Translator and proofreader.

After reading all the other comments you made, I just deleted about 450+ words worth of critizism and advice, as I relized trying to help you, just to get treated like troll is not worth it. You need to get your act together and stop acting lika a petulant man-child or Karen, language barrier be damned.

Spoiler: What 450+ words looks like, and an example of what ChatGPT is actually useful for

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ChatGPT is a LLM(large language model) with "AI" power, which means it's most likely not even monitored and corrected when doing its machine learning. And it is not even AI in the true sense either, and it does not even qualify for RnD purposes. And it's not even innovative in its field of "AI"-powered products. Also it utilizes LLM technology to generate text after a prompt, which means it will generate extra fluff where it sees fit, no matter how "correctly" you use it. It seems like you are not willing to do neither pre- or post-process work properly, with the way you behave towards the valid and helpful critizism from us, as apparently GPT is your end all, be all.

Bro I'm askin one thing just give me 10 lines that are not good from my VN I'm asking 10 lines

the script is more than1000 lines yu said right you played the game just present me the flaws

not even 10 just 5

This just pushed me to actually ignore your game(and you tbh) and not even give it a chance to improve. It is your job to quality control, or have(hire) someone to do it for you, so we, the players, do not have to. I'll just say that half or more of all dialogue needs work. That should tell you something is wrong with your beloved GPT pre- and post-process.

And yes, this thread just pissed me off. Just like any of the petulant man-children and Karens I have met. Time to find the beer and rod, and take an hour by the river I think, as how I am currently writing is as civil I am willing to be with this.

Edit: Just had to jab in the ChatGPT generated text to demonstrate the amount of writing I wasted, and aptly made it about waste of effort. Fixed typos, mainly 4500+ to 450+, as my numpad needs cleaning, and a comma here and there.

 

[WastedTalent]

Well bro let me tell you this the English refined and corrected by Ai chat gpt and my 3 beta testers who are from West said this is the English they want, so if you still talk about English i have to become the who made the English so please leave it if didn't understand if you still doesn't trust me I can show my gpt chats with recorrecting or rephrased ai generated line

I hope have fine day and peace

I don't think the english is terrible but I do feel like it's not conversational english but more like an actual english lesson in school. It wasn't choppy or hard to understand but it was not conversational in some places... (It's been a few days since I played so I'm sorry I can't give a specific example) as far as understanding the story well it is hard to tell what are dreams and what is real or if it's all entirely a dream...? maybe make something that separates dream and reality otherwise your mc seems kind of unfit like he should be in a facility or something or at least sessions with a professional therapist. That being said I like it overall just wondering if you could make it easier to tell the difference... also what triggered this dream or dream state... maybe that comes later idk but right now it feels like there is a little something not much just something minor that is missing. That being said the artwork is very good and the again the overall scope of the story is as well. I like different and this is definitely not a cookie cutter avn so I look forward to see what's next. Good luck and don't let the haters get to you.

 

[Deleted member 2342269]

I don't think the english is terrible but I do feel like it's not conversational english but more like an actual english lesson in school. It wasn't choppy or hard to understand but it was not conversational in some places... (It's been a few days since I played so I'm sorry I can't give a specific example) as far as understanding the story well it is hard to tell what are dreams and what is real or if it's all entirely a dream...? maybe make something that separates dream and reality otherwise your mc seems kind of unfit like he should be in a facility or something or at least sessions with a professional therapist. That being said I like it overall just wondering if you could make it easier to tell the difference... also what triggered this dream or dream state... maybe that comes later idk but right now it feels like there is a little something not much just something minor that is missing. That being said the artwork is very good and the again the overall scope of the story is as well. I like different and this is definitely not a cookie cutter avn so I look forward to see what's next. Good luck and don't let the haters get to you.

thanks for the feedback bro I will look into it and I to feel english is not perfect but it is understandable, there is only one dream remaining is actually happening and it is starting of the VN, ok I will adjust things So it is more clear and If you're really interested I'm going to release v0.02 main by end of this month look forward to that it will have all sex scenes and story corrections (as much sa I can) code issues, writing mistakes
I hope you play that too.

and also When I corrected the my main VN lost hope feel free t look into that too.

 

[WastedTalent]

thanks for the feedback bro I will look into it and I to feel english is not perfect but it is understandable, there is only one dream remaining is actually happening and it is starting of the VN, ok I will adjust things So it is more clear and If you're really interested I'm going to release v0.02 main by end of this month look forward to that it will have all sex scenes and story corrections (as much sa I can) code issues, writing mistakes
I hope you play that too.

and also When I corrected the my main VN lost hope feel free t look into that too.

I love lost hope so far. Really hope it continues, but I understand. I don't think most people understand how much it costs to make an avn and then when a title doesn't bring the income for a dev or dev team and they decide to try something else everyone get's upset. I won't lie I feel disappointment too but I also understand the need to eat and be profitable so like I said don't let the haters get to you just keep going and I wish you the best.

 

[Irad]

Well, this was terrible.

The English is barely coherent, but the story. Oh man, the story is most definitely not.

Good luck to the creator, others might fint this to their tastes.

 

[Daniel1984]

This game and author is getting blacklisted for me. He's an absolute man-child would can't take criticism and argues like he's infallible, he also believes using ChatGPT and grammerly can give a person perfect english, so he won't bother to fix anything. This story is convoluted and annoying to read.

 

[Deleted member 2342269]

This game and author is getting blacklisted for me. He's an absolute man-child would can't take criticism and argues like he's infallible, he also believes using ChatGPT and grammerly can give a person perfect english, so he won't bother to fix anything. This story is convoluted and annoying to read.

You tried to use two big words, I first time heard those words, but yeah I'm not saying my game doesn't have probs like I have been telling in this comments from the start It needs human touch it is more formal. (So millions of users who use Grammarly are man-child ok.)

convoluted wow complicated, you really used a great reason to reason bro I want to write a complicated story (really convoluted?)

I'm just a fallible guy who do so many mistakes and rectifies them one by one and the render is the one step to conveying the story with more meaning (Well good luck to me)

Spoiler: peep

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oh yeah, these renders are made just yesterday, the thing he said He won't bother trying to fix it. (I'm more than bothered no If i didn't fix it I won't get sleep)

 

[xDestiny]

There are some guys here who are very annoying wtf, lol.