- Apr 27, 2017
- 2,962
- 13,224
Captain's Log, day 222
We find ourselves slowly edging ever closer towards the abyss as we stray from the one true path of F95. We have barely managed to escape from the great vortex of MILK-ING VIII, and head to greater, better new horizons, yet the horror from the Void of Gumdrops has scarred us deeply as a crew. As I write this report at an off-world bar with the remnants of the crew, my hands trembling as I sip down my whiskey. The planets doctors and health service have been pushed to the absolute limits, hundreds of surviving pouring in having survived the Gumdrops Void, many suffering urgent treatment for Septic Blue balls.
A brief stop over at Taffy tales revealed great promise and hope, a kind of nega-verse of Summertime saga with a more evil protagonist, it offered little solitude in these restless times. Little Suzy is confused, she asks how a project can survive this long without updates? With such long-winded posts promising the world? What can a father tell his girl to protect her? How does one explain one of the greatest blue-ball baits of patreon of all time? It matters not, for even I not understand the answer.
From the great Void, another gargled message has emerged as we passed through, promising of an update at the start of the New year. Four of the crew have gone completely insane and had to be quarantined, they now rock back and forth with red eyes refusing to blink, muttering to themselves,
*'it's coming any day now, it's coming any day'.* Even as they speak, we know deep down they don't believe themselves, poor fools.
Even the Gumdrops discord has fallen into diss-array, chaos, the most ardent supporters have felt its presence, like a cult that finally managed to summon Cthulu, they have come to realize the true horror they have allowed to spread. The moderators have finally subsided, for if the Void brings no bounty by January, the game shall be classed as abandoned, the mental gymnastics from the dev have finally broken even the will of the great F95 mods, what hope is there for the common man or woman seeking to get their rocks off? What hope I say?
Vanaduke sits in the corner of the bar smoking in his armchair by the fire as I write, grizzled like an old war dog he speaks to the young-uns how he confronted the Gumdrops Void many moons ago, and like a wise prophet and warrior did battle on the discord till he was perma-banned. Even now they speak of him on the discord as a troll in a 'league of his own.'
Thankfully he continues to show some decent fan arts he makes himself, it's groovy.
There are talks from the newbies who have returned to this thread after many months to inquire of news, how I envy them, to be so unaware, for little do they understand women have literally been impregnated, completed their full term and given birth by the time this update is released. Other devs would have been crucified for this, yet the gumdrops Void remains, and even grows in its madness.
Will my crew ever recover after their harrowing survival? Will the Void finally be silenced? Or shall it deliver at last it's darkest promise yet? Only in time shall we know the answer.
Captain Out.
We find ourselves slowly edging ever closer towards the abyss as we stray from the one true path of F95. We have barely managed to escape from the great vortex of MILK-ING VIII, and head to greater, better new horizons, yet the horror from the Void of Gumdrops has scarred us deeply as a crew. As I write this report at an off-world bar with the remnants of the crew, my hands trembling as I sip down my whiskey. The planets doctors and health service have been pushed to the absolute limits, hundreds of surviving pouring in having survived the Gumdrops Void, many suffering urgent treatment for Septic Blue balls.
A brief stop over at Taffy tales revealed great promise and hope, a kind of nega-verse of Summertime saga with a more evil protagonist, it offered little solitude in these restless times. Little Suzy is confused, she asks how a project can survive this long without updates? With such long-winded posts promising the world? What can a father tell his girl to protect her? How does one explain one of the greatest blue-ball baits of patreon of all time? It matters not, for even I not understand the answer.
From the great Void, another gargled message has emerged as we passed through, promising of an update at the start of the New year. Four of the crew have gone completely insane and had to be quarantined, they now rock back and forth with red eyes refusing to blink, muttering to themselves,
*'it's coming any day now, it's coming any day'.* Even as they speak, we know deep down they don't believe themselves, poor fools.
Even the Gumdrops discord has fallen into diss-array, chaos, the most ardent supporters have felt its presence, like a cult that finally managed to summon Cthulu, they have come to realize the true horror they have allowed to spread. The moderators have finally subsided, for if the Void brings no bounty by January, the game shall be classed as abandoned, the mental gymnastics from the dev have finally broken even the will of the great F95 mods, what hope is there for the common man or woman seeking to get their rocks off? What hope I say?
Vanaduke sits in the corner of the bar smoking in his armchair by the fire as I write, grizzled like an old war dog he speaks to the young-uns how he confronted the Gumdrops Void many moons ago, and like a wise prophet and warrior did battle on the discord till he was perma-banned. Even now they speak of him on the discord as a troll in a 'league of his own.'
Thankfully he continues to show some decent fan arts he makes himself, it's groovy.
There are talks from the newbies who have returned to this thread after many months to inquire of news, how I envy them, to be so unaware, for little do they understand women have literally been impregnated, completed their full term and given birth by the time this update is released. Other devs would have been crucified for this, yet the gumdrops Void remains, and even grows in its madness.
Will my crew ever recover after their harrowing survival? Will the Void finally be silenced? Or shall it deliver at last it's darkest promise yet? Only in time shall we know the answer.
Captain Out.
