VN Ren'Py Abandoned Fallen Roads [v0.2] [Boketto Games]

[MrFriendly]

Perhaps I need to go back through it again but the only thing added was what happened once they got to the room.

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I do think, as I have seen before on other games, the audience doesn't always react (to characters) as the Dev intended and so the Dev then must overcompensate to try to steer the story back on track.

Hope all is going well on The Cabin. Looking forward to the next update.

In this there was more resistance to the drinking, then more drinking than previously shown, there seemed to be more flirting in the first chapter which doesn't seem to be shown much this time.

Overall, having Ava cheat made more sense, she went to a party, drank, smoked, flirted, fucked, and then was caught in bed. She didn't react like she realized she was raped, she reacted like someone who was guilty about being found naked with her crush.

I agree that it feels like the audience reacted really negatively to the idea of Ava cheating and so now it isn't cheating. Though, from the beginning I believe we were told that there would be no NTR... Regardless, I am curious why Anne instantly believes Ava's version of the story and not the MC's. As I've said before people lie. No reason to believe that Ava wouldn't lie about this to save face. We don't have the same amount of backstory about her that we do about Anne.

 

[Chimba]

The MC has no way of knowing what happens since he isn't there so we are shown a third person perspective of the event which turns out to be incorrect... So what are we supposed to believe? Which version is supposed to be correct? Ava could just be lying because she regrets cheating.

What we know is that Ava even knowing who was going to be at the party and which group of friends were going to go and despite the fact that Mc was against (because he knew what was going to happen: alcohol, drugs) she decides to go, apart of not telling anyone that Mc is her boyfriend (because surely there was some previous problem) and the "friends" telling her that she should have farewell sex and she does not tell them anything ..., then in the end, It happened what had to happen.

 

[clowns234]

She was passed out when he took off his clothes - so she would have woken up next to a naked man she had already rejected.
Why throw him out the first time? Why didn't she just fuck him then?

Man a desperate NTR fan waiting for NTR tag and some NTR in the game .

Do you have a response to the comment?

This is one game that should be tagged as NTR, imho. A main plot point of the story is of the MC being upset because he thought his girlfriend cheated on him.

the events that lead to it could have been avoided if she wasn't dumb and listened to MC.

Addicts tend not to make the best decisions. And unless you just want a harem game where the only plot is that the MC gets all the girls, a story needs flawed characters. Most games, the MC is the only dumb guy.

 

[Rinbael]

Regardless, I am curious why Anne instantly believes Ava's version of the story and not the MC's. As I've said before people lie. No reason to believe that Ava wouldn't lie about this to save face. We don't have the same amount of backstory about her that we do about Anne.

That's a common problem from most games on this site and it's that devs really don't want to make a LI look bad so the MC is usually ignored or not believed when it comes to that kind of situation.

 

[Valdazz]

Ugh the endings in this game is so annoying

 

[Roninsoul7]

First off, if your favourite martial artist is Bruce Lee and you're excited for Tae Kwon Do, you have no idea that he made his own martial art that is way better than Tyke ever could be, so at least have him be excited to learn Jeet Kun Do.

Second off, she hid her relationship from her "friends" because she knew they didn't like her boyfriend, and still went to party with them. It's not her fault she was raped, but it was her fault she was there to be raped, so she didn't cheat on him, she wasn't good for him anyways. If your other half refuses to claim you in front of others and chooses to spend time with those others instead of you, you're better off without them.

He isn't stable enough to be in a relationship, especially with someone who is also unstable, a RL friend of mine is doing that now and showing how adding a shit ton of mental health problems that are unresolved and out of control on top of someone else' unresolved mental health issues is not just stupid, but dangerous.

All in all, the story writing is ok, but the motivations are horrible, and we're missing way too much context to be where the Dev is at. Something I had to teach a friend of mine who ended up a published authour, was to first stop writing the story without giving the reader the information, they don't know the story in your head, and while it seems a great way to "surprise" the audience, it's just going to drive them away and piss them off.
If I met Ava in person, I would hate her. That she is a victim of her own choices is one of the reasons. Keep in mind I am saying this as a victim of childhood physical, emotional and sexual abuse from my own Mother. I don't blame a victim for things that happen to them, but I do blame people for the decisions they make that set up the things that happen to them. I personally cut off all contact with my Mother as soon as I was legally allowed to, and I didn't once look back with regret for it, because I never put myself into that situation again. I made bad choices in life, figured them out with help from friends, and moved on. The horrible past of others has no effect on you unless it intersects with your life.
She made her choice, she deserves to be cut out of the MC's life, and not forgiveness. You don't have to forgive those who wronged you. Ever. It's not going to erase any scars if you do, it's not going to give you peace if you do, it's not for you, it's all for them. She wronged the MC the moment she decided to go hang out with friends who she knew hated him.

 

[mr.AwesomeGameTaste]

After the first version, I was hyped about the game for a while, and props for Yusuf that despite his IRL troubles, he decided to continue. But, I feel like the writing took a massive nosedive in this chapter regardless.

There's the whole Ava thing. In chapter 1, it was a getting drunk then high and then cheating situation, it was clear. In a podcast, Yusuf talked about the situation sort of being based on a personal experience, and said he wanted to explore the other side of the story. It was obviously a no go for a lot of people and they wanted nothing to with Ava who was a pivotal character in the game, but you do you. Now, the whole implied rape situation seems just to a massive cop-out as others mentioned already. It only serves to try to wash her out of the situation, so that people would still deal with her or getting sympathetic, but the problem is that it's full of plotholes. In chapter 1, which I had to replay and still present as it was, she got an unopened beer bottle, she drunk and smoked despite her bf's warning, and seemed to go on willingly. Now she gets an already opened mollied beer, then being helped up, and the Bryce wakes up being drunk high and mollied himself and starts to take off his clothes. At this point you could even debate if he managed to get it up in the first place and how the whole thing ended with both of them having no clothes on. Ava appearing in their middle school chapter also is an inconsistency, since Annie doesn't seem to recognize her at all. Maybe she forgot about her but still iffy. Either chapter 1, which was mostly an outsider pov when it came to that party should've been changed, or the original plot should've been left in, regardless of how unsympathetic Ava was in it. The only thing worse than this would be a revelation about how they actually never fucked, but the message sender took her clothes off and that she was just a victim of a sinister plot.

The rest of the storytelling so far also seems awfully reliant on plot convinient, despite it being supposedly a realistic story. Them randomly picking up Ava from all people is already that, but then the car having BOTH tires blown out right before they'd drop her off just screams asspull in order to continue the story as intended but not having a coherent idea of why Ava would stay with them for the rest of the trip. The convinient store mom (best girl so far by the way) also seems rather unecessary, since the whole plot revolves around them going to far away from where they lived, the best it would lead to is what, some camsex scenes? The lack of meaningful choices in order to push the story in a certain way are also jarring.

Despite the interesting beginning, and some of the tone that I can relate to, most of the writing when it comes to the main plot and how it's being handled is super bad.

Ps.: I hope Bryce won't conviniently also comes back making this shit into Chasing Sunsets 2.0

True,it's reliant on plot convenience,and the dev has put himself in a really difficult position. Even if we accept his vision,forget about inconsistencies and even forgive her,writing her path will be a nightmare. He has to do this exactly right,if he takes this too lightly the result will be terrible,if you put that much baggage on someone and then they will have a talk he will forgive her and they will move on,love conquers all and all that,it would kill the game.If he was to overdo it,and have them rebuilding themselves and their trust forever,people will get bored. Also,Ava should have a trauma in regard to physical contact after being raped,so he has to do that exactly right as well,as he can't ignore that fact,but also people can get frustrated with the lack of sexual content.
I'm also afraid of Bryce coming back,it's clear that Ava is super scared of something judging by the way she reacted when Annie entered her room. She's probably escaping from something or someone,and Bryce is the main candidate.

 

[Antonie van Leeuwenhoek]

I hope Bryce won't conviniently also comes back making this shit into Chasing Sunsets 2.0

C'mon now we are going too ahead of ourselves, that shitter was a a1 pussy and the stone fox studios handled the situation very well.

 

[Roninsoul7]

True,it's reliant on plot convenience,and the dev has put himself in a really difficult position. Even if we accept his vision,forget about inconsistencies and even forgive her,writing her path will be a nightmare. He has to do this exactly right,if he takes this too lightly the result will be terrible,if you put that much baggage on someone and then they will have a talk he will forgive her and they will move on,love conquers all and all that,it would kill the game.If he was to overdo it,and have them rebuilding themselves and their trust forever,people will get bored. Also,Ava should have a trauma in regard to physical contact after being raped,so he has to do that exactly right as well,as he can't ignore that fact,but also people can get frustrated with the lack of sexual content.
I'm also afraid of Bryce coming back,it's clear that Ava is super scared of something judging by the way she reacted when Annie entered her room. She's probably escaping from something or someone,and Bryce is the main candidate.

I also wished that instead of alluding to the MC kicking Bryce's teeth in, that part was shown. A true martial artist learns from mistakes and doesn't repeat them. My sensei taught me how to fight AFTER he taught me how to enter into deep meditation to control the anger and rage I had inside, and I learned that instead of fighting a bully at school, you instead get them when they and you are alone somewhere else, and you leave them with the distinct and truthful impression that attacking you again will result in their death. I taught my daughter to fight but told her to walk away first if they would let her, and if they didn't, that shattering their knees was the fastest way to make sure they never came for you again.

 

[michael1984]

Well Annie is ruined for me now too for taking Ava her side

So im guessing no more love interests left in this game for me

Pretty messed up how Annie gets mad at the MC while it was all Ava her own fault to begin with

Story makes zero sense at this point other then to piss people off

 

[clowns234]

He isn't stable enough to be in a relationship, especially with someone who is also unstable.

I agree.
The Dev presented this as a 'game [that] will have mental health undertones'. I personally think the reveal of the 'cheating that turned out not to be cheating' was intentional - but it did not have the reaction he was going for.

 

[Canto Forte]

You cannot walk away from a bully - they will find you and they will bully you.
Bully always steal your GF, so this game is a trope in precisely this reguard:
Your antagonist throws a party to get your GF away from you:
If she goes to him, it is settled: He bullied you outta your relationship.
Bullies always steal something from you, it is the bully way.

 

[PJWhoopie]

I aint gonna lie, I am looking forward to the next installment, if nothing else, to see how the DEV writes himself out of the perceived situation.

Sadly, the ripple effect of what has been set in motion will be difficult to tackle.

as mentioned by MrFriendly (and possibly others), Anne seems to automatically believe Ava, though the MC has basically said nothing regarding his version. This smells like the DEV is trying to use Anne, to be a crowbar to slide Ava back in...

It would be interesting if the text/message/call that the MC got to alert him of Ava's indiscretion was a video clip he could show Anne of Ava getting it on with Bryce... and taking an active role , not a passed out mollied one.

If the DEV can get me to give a shit about Ava without using the "rape" card, hats off to them.

 

[mr.AwesomeGameTaste]

there's another thing. if Ava's friends didn't know about her dating mc,then why josh said to him when he came to their house "if you are looking for Ava she's upstairs"? and someone who messaged mc about Ava had to be there. It was probably Sarah given how calm she was when mc was beating up Bryce. She probably wanted to break them up so Ava could be a part of their group again. And that's why Ava is running away. So how did they know and why didn't Ava contact Mc after all this?

 

[mr.AwesomeGameTaste]

I aint gonna lie, I am looking forward to the next installment, if nothing else, to see how the DEV writes himself out of the perceived situation.

Sadly, the ripple effect of what has been set in motion will be difficult to tackle.

as mentioned by MrFriendly (and possibly others), Anne seems to automatically believe Ava, though the MC has basically said nothing regarding his version. This smells like the DEV is trying to use Anne, to be a crowbar to slide Ava back in...

It would be interesting if the text/message/call that the MC got to alert him of Ava's indiscretion was a video clip he could show Anne of Ava getting it on with Bryce... and taking an active role , not a passed out mollied one.

If the DEV can get me to give a shit about Ava without using the "rape" card, hats off to them.

Exactly,I've already prepared another save where I will forgive her just to see how he handles it.same goes for Annie. If he manages to do that well I will pledge to his patreon without hesitation.

 

[kartolas]

Would I trust her (Ava) if I was in the MC place? No. The cloud of doubt would always be in my mind and I CAN'T have a relationship like that. I didn't like how Annie reacted and it makes me cringe everytime she orders the MC around. It was fun at start... No, she wouldn't throw rocks further.
First episode was great. This one... I'm disappointed. Enough to stop playing? No but it's close and I don't see how the dev can turn it around. Ava is not a LI in any way nor is Annie. At the moment, the only thing I'm interested to see is if the MC is gona grow a backbone. If not, well, it's Ty and GL.

 

[Canto Forte]

They bullied her out of MC hands and spoiled her 4 him:
They showed him she was still of theirs and would bone their bully leader.

there's another thing. if Ava's friends didn't know about her dating mc,then why josh said to him when he came to their house "if you are looking for Ava she's upstairs"? and someone who messaged mc about Ava had to be there. It was probably Sarah given how calm she was when mc was beating up Bryce. She probably wanted to break them up so Ava could be a part of their group again. And that's why Ava is running away. So how did they know and why didn't Ava contact Mc after all this?

 

[KeiNineX]

Honestly, where do we go from here? This is such a fucked up situation that I have 0 clue what's gonna happen next and not in a good way.

I didn't really like Annie this update, she was acting way too nice to Ava even before she found out. Also, I don't really sympathize with Ava. Obviously it's terrible what has happened to her but she largely caused it herself.

Plus that whole chain of events this update just wasn't a very good writing imo.

"I know you cheated on my friend but let's take you to a bus stop, we don't want you to get hurt."
"Oh look at that, we got flat tires, isn't that convenient. I guess we're stuck with you for now"
"Oh priest, let's talk to him."
"Oh confession, let's do it."
"Oh you look sad, why don't you tell me about the time you cheated on my friend."

I mean come on... Maybe it's just me but that felt like some cheap soap opera.

 

[Boehser Onkel]

No matter how beautiful you are on the outside, but if you are shit inside, then that no beauty is not enough for anything.

cmon
its not that bad - we should be more opportunistic

 

[Boehser Onkel]

probally the bad revieuws got deleted some how idk

Caus this is just crazy to have a game force u with a Li that already is so gullible and probally cheated at that party

Why we even with her at this point

We should have had a option to leave her

but nope we need the drama so we stuck with her

what you talking about ?
the mc is not "with her" atm
they just talked...