- Jun 24, 2017
- 192
- 805
Yes, I get why you can't slow down the corruption too much. The agency could keep her undercover for 6 to 12 months, but probably it's not going to happen if they know everything. That is why I don't like that everyone has access to the security live feed. The agent is under a microscope. She can't do shit without a bunch of CIA guys knowing about it. I can't even imagine a scenario in which she gets the green light for a bargirl job. Unless they say ok, be a bargirl and a week later the Devilfish ends up in the club, they grab him and that is it. The story is over.I think this is a fair point. I do like the current masturbation scenes as is because they keep the pace up and show off the corruption taking hold, i.e. right now it's fantasy so it's indulged, but down the line it will be realized. I feel like all of the touristy asides give us enough pause in action so as not to make the story feel rushed. But if we had more of what you described at first and moved the current masturbation scenes to later in the story it would work quite well.
One reason for the more rushed corruption is the premise of a secret agent being sent in to infiltrate. She's not some young lady, on her own, trying to get by. She can leave any time she wants. And, avoiding spoilers, to maintain verisimilitude we have to acknowledge that no intelligence service is going to let an agent slut around for months accomplishing nothing. So there is only so much slow burn that could be fit in.
Hell, it is an undercover mission with limited backup. The agent should go in and send what intel she gathers when she can. Add roadblocks along the way, to disrupt the communication with the agency. Move the agent out from the motel; make her stay with another bargirl. That way she won't go out for a stroll and spend the next two days in the safehouse. Take her phone away. No more safe communication with the team. Go to basic stuff, ping once a day to let them know that you are ok. Drop the intel somewhere in the city or have brief conversation with the rest of the team, once a week. You can also add stuff like:
- the Thai OC suspects something is up, you need to go dark for a few weeks
- the CIA wants to shut down the mission after 6 months; however Clark has some other ideas. He is too close to give up now. He will keep you undercover and pretend that everything is still ok, while he tries to change the agency mind about the mission. That could go on for 3 months and after that, voila, the mission is extended for another 6 months.
- another idea to extend the mission; maybe keeping the agent undercover proves to be a better solution of extracting information out of the Devilfish.
There is so much potential in this game to actually write a good corruption story.