Breaking my year-long lurk mode because of this "game." Because he's jumped on several of my hot buttons. This guy is an example of why I don't buy erotica games; they're almost always either a scam, or bad. I found a reference to FA a few days ago. Checking here, I saw it had started in 2017. And the version number was over 1.0.
So I though "okay, it's html, it's been out (counts on fingers) like six years or something, there's some sort of story." Maybe not a good one, most erotica/porn games don't have a story, because *everyone* thinks writing is easy, but I checked it out. It started okay, so I kept going.
Except nothing happens. It doesn't go anywhere. No story, no plot. Then it just ends with "hey, here's my Patreon, give me money" and that's it. What - the - hell?
So he’s either scammer coasting off the “hey, they’ll stay signed up paying me each month, yippie”, which is the most likely scenario. Or he’s just a crappy wanna be who claims to be a writer but doesn’t know how to actually write. Let’s assume he’s honest and address that lack of skill, and not the scammy part where he might just be lying.
Writing is hard. It just is. The fact that it only takes a keyboard, and not coding or art knowledge, doesn’t make it easy. FA’s “writer” is doing exactly what every non-writer does. He sat down with some basic idea that he thought was cool, and started writing. And when you’re in the beginning, it’s “easy” because you just keep world building. Each scene is just you going “here’s this thing, I describe the thing, here’s people at the thing, describe them, here’s their goal, describe that.” Nothing but wiki entries, only easy, effortless world building without story to connect it into a narrative.
His idea is “there’s this bar, let me describe naked women and creepy guys, and there’s rock music lyrics I’ll steal and put in my game, and the same with some nude pop star pics.” Just every five or so screens, “no Devilfish yet.” Mixed in with trite, rote, repetitious “I’m so embarrassed, I’m so exposed, oh God everyone sees my tits” stuff. Later it’s “oh God, everyone back at intel HQ sees my tits, sees me fuck, I’m so embarrassed.”
Six years of this? Lying about it being past version 1.0? World building is not storytelling. DND players world build. Because world building is easy. You just make up wiki entries for your fantasy city, your fantasy character, the fantasy mayor, the fantasy captain of the guard. What is FA doing? Making up extremely slim wiki entries for a Thai brothel topless bar, a Thai gangster type, an Ex-Pat OC sub-lieutenant creep, a few “personalities” for regular customers, a couple of topless waitresses and bargirls. All world building. No story. Just wiki entries.
It kept mentioning “side quest opened” and I was like, okay, stuff should soon be happening. Three of those opened. Nope.
I truly, honestly, figured I’d see this MC go through probably several cities. Jetting around the globe doing sexy spy stuff; sexing up bad guys to take them down.
After the initial setup I thought she’d infiltrate and keep her cover because she actually goes through with stuff, instead of trying to beg off and stay clothed, not fuck, like a “real agent” would. Because she goes “all the way” she’d keep her cover intact, and be able to find the dirt on these cardboard cutout “characters” and start connecting dots. The gangster would be put under surveillance. She’d tap his phone (hint, hint; we could use that useless Sam-fuck scene to mean something other than just empty porn), and maybe do the same at the club, and to her creep boss. Phone calls and texts and hacking the computer and all that, and a picture gets built. They find out about The Meeting or whatever.
Then CIA would come in and whamo, she’s getting big time pats on the back because she did the dirty and got the job done. A guy couldn’t infiltrate a topless bar. Not even as a customer. Some jobs a woman can do where a man can’t, and a woman will also often go unnoticed because “she’s just a woman” which is fun to use in a story. When you see big, tough guys get upstaged by “just a woman.” That’s always good fun in a story.
Her bosses could be like, we can use a woman like you dear, let’s put you on our taskforce payroll because it’s big old world out there and there are lots of bad guys to catch. You’re willing to put yourself out there and help us nail some of those bad guys, even if they have to nail you first. Let’s go, there’s a world to save.
I figured she’d next go undercover to infiltrate some other group, maybe by being inserted as a new love interest for a gangster or a terrorist or something. Track him down, get herself noticed by him, reel him in, become his girlfriend. Seduce him, cozy up to him. Get to hang on his arm (while fucking, of course, because porn), and start connecting those dots. Drugs, nukes, money laundering, whatever; doesn’t matter. Just something. She’d be schmoozing and loving some clueless violent dickhead, but it would go somewhere. Then, again, dots get connected and whamo, SpecOps comes in and does the takedown. Maybe she could hold the guy at gunpoint, or shoot him before he can flee.
Then basically repeat that some. Or we could get “clever” and there’s a mole in CIA or MI6 or something. So she goes undercover there. Cozies up to an assistant department head or something, a congressional oversight committee’s aide. Something. Spy stuff, creeping around, tapping phones and computers, hacking maybe, poison a few people so they miss an important meeting and her or her ‘love interest’ can go so more dots get connected. Whamo, another day saved.
Instead, this completely pathetic nothing. Six years of nothing, no story, no anything. Empty, casual, incomplete world building that’s barely any sort of world, that goes nowhere, says nothing, and does nothing. What – the – hell. Why don’t I pay for porn games? This garbage right here. Six years. Nothing. He’s milking people too dumb to read their credit card statements, or he’s so inept he can’t even see it or know what’s wrong or how to fix it.
Hire a writer. Or stop lying about being one. If you’re just a programmer, say that. If all you can do is photoshop pictures, or digitally paint, say that. Writing isn’t this casual, last second thing. You don’t have to polish each sentence so it drips with symbolism and layered meaning, but you have to **write** a **story**. And have something to say.
There’s a story in a female femme fatale idea. There’s thousands of stories in that. Some of them are even suitable for porn, so we can splash in tons of naked women and hot sex and all the other stuff one goes looking for when they think “hmm, a porn game, that might be something I’m interested in.” But this garbage here, where there’s no story? It’s insulting. It’s annoying.
And don’t say it’s version 1.0 when it ain’t. The one thing I rely on when I skim through “games” is looking for ones that are complete or nearly completely. I really, really hate incomplete, or half-baked stuff, where it’s “my new game, version 0.01.” F95 is littered with stuff like that, where the programmer or whoever got annoyed no one was lining up to pay for their grand opus right off the bat with no content and abandoned it. Six years old and past version 1.0? Seemed safe. Instead, I’m typing this because wow am I annoyed.
Shame. For shame. You are bad, and should feel bad. I really hope you do. Take a storytelling course. They exist. Study on Youtube or via podcasts. Writing is a skill. Storytelling is a skill. You can’t cram stuff into a day or two when you don’t know how, and even if you did, it still takes longer than “wow, it’s been four months since I promised they’d get new content, I should ‘dash something off this weekend’ so they keep paying me.”
Instead, I suspect FA guy will just, probably through a sock puppet account, post one of the dozens of "hahahah counting my money" memes and flame me.
