elle21

Member
Jul 22, 2019
364
296
The future is silver onesie pajamas?

Thanks, I hate it.


But more seriously, this keeps getting painfully facepalm including. So the future has slavery, and the Baron is someone with enough power/influence/wealth to own slaves, a personal harem, security forces, bankroll black-market human cloning, and is comfortable murdering people himself (with an anachronistic as hell firearm) on his own property.

Why the fuck is he cloning if it is so illegal, that Eight's words alone will somehow be so damaging as to warrant her pre-emptive death?

/EDIT

Also, why kill her? He has ruthless personal security that are (presumably) in on the whole illegal slaves thing. Have them kill her. Or better yet, instead of wasting those resources, just have them help you rape her. Even if you did nothing else but hold her in confinement, there's zero reason to believe that he should be threatened AT ALL by Eight's empty words. She's a vat grown human with a few months under her belt that has trouble navigating her current circumstances. The Baron has all the power in this scenario. She poses no threat. His actions are stupidity squared.

/EDIT

It's already established that the Baron has the aforementioned power/influence/wealth, and slavery is a thing. Just get sex slaves. There is no reason to clone, especially if it really is such a career ending risk. When you already clearly have no compunctions about owning slaves, owning slaves is legal, and you can clearly afford more; just get sex slaves.

Why try to clone at all then? Well, to get something you couldn't otherwise get from slavery. Maybe you're into some real weird 'The Island of Dr. Moreau' shit and really want to fuck a nekomimi. Or you want a sex slave to be little more than a subservient husk, either especially trained to subsume their own personality, or perhaps even genetically modified to be more subserviently and pliable (maybe even doing away with that pesky thing called 'ego').

But that's evidently not the case here. They're all just run-of-the-mill hotties. Not only has their truncated indoctrination left them being very awkward from their lack of real world experience, but even this super-secret and highly controlled environment wasn't able to prevent one of them from independently discovering feminism and abolition?

What? How? Why?

What are you paying that doctor for? If the clones are in a 100% controlled environment, why weren't they indoctrinated to be subservient, willing, and happy in their role as property? Cause that's why you'd risk making a super-duper-turbo-illegal clone, so that you could get an unnaturally subservient sex-slave with no thought to their own independence or freedom.

For everything else, there are sex slaves.

It's just too stupid of a premise. Five minutes into it, and I'm constantly being yanked out of the experience.
Well the cloning is interesting, just think if u can bang all ur dream super model or star movie ecc but in their 20's, and u have the money to makes it come true u will not get a chance?
 

kiljaeden

Active Member
Jun 2, 2019
763
828
I've had bad experiences on here from users trolling or just being rude, but I don't think it would be fair to just automatically be rude to everyone else because I'm fed up.

I'm in this thread to answer any questions and listen to constructive criticism. I have taken ideas and feedback from you guys and implemenetrd them in my game, like Anoushka becoming a love interest instead of a side character.

Or changing an option where you could only sleep with Anoushka if you stopped Nine.

So, I will absolutely listen to everything you have to say, let's just please be respectful to one another as human beings.
I am only asking for that sweet incest route. It fits to story. He doesn't even remember her face. I mean it could happen and we wouldn't even know she was his mother. She can't recognize him either.
 

Deleted member 1412183

Well-Known Member
Game Developer
May 15, 2019
1,725
8,219
I am only asking for that sweet incest route. It fits to story. He doesn't even remember her face. I mean it could happen and we wouldn't even know she was his mother. She can't recognize him either.
Incest doesn't fit with the vision I have for this story going forward, sorry. But you can play my other games that have plenty of incest.

Secret Summer, Picture Perfect, Sun Breed
 

Catherine♡

Member
Mar 10, 2019
263
1,277
I thought the story of this game would be the mc pretending to be Spartacus (hence the name of the game) and going from Baron to Baron from place to place releasing slaves for his Har...I mean, to fight for a better world.
But after this update it looks like he's smart and just want to run away.
 

altmas66

Member
May 4, 2020
122
83
Hi i have this error, how can I continue the game?

Code:
I'm sorry, but an uncaught exception occurred.

While running game code:
  File "game/U4.rpy", line 1753, in script
    jump U4scan
ScriptError: could not find label 'U4scan'.

-- Full Traceback ------------------------------------------------------------

Full traceback:
  File "game/U4.rpy", line 1753, in script
    jump U4scan
  File "C:\Users\n\Downloads\Follow the Leader [v0.4]\rpdl.net-FollowTheLeader-0.4\renpy\ast.py", line 1697, in execute
    rv = renpy.game.script.lookup(target)
  File "C:\Users\n\Downloads\Follow the Leader [v0.4]\rpdl.net-FollowTheLeader-0.4\renpy\script.py", line 898, in lookup
    raise ScriptError("could not find label '%s'." % str(original))
ScriptError: could not find label 'U4scan'.

Windows-8-6.2.9200
Ren'Py 7.3.5.606
v0.4 0.4
Sat Jan 15 04:37:05 2022
 
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Pinsel

Active Member
Dec 25, 2019
821
728
Hi i have this error, how can I continue the game?

Code:
I'm sorry, but an uncaught exception occurred.

While running game code:
  File "game/U4.rpy", line 1753, in script
    jump U4scan
ScriptError: could not find label 'U4scan'.

-- Full Traceback ------------------------------------------------------------

Full traceback:
  File "game/U4.rpy", line 1753, in script
    jump U4scan
  File "C:\Users\n\Downloads\Follow the Leader [v0.4]\rpdl.net-FollowTheLeader-0.4\renpy\ast.py", line 1697, in execute
    rv = renpy.game.script.lookup(target)
  File "C:\Users\n\Downloads\Follow the Leader [v0.4]\rpdl.net-FollowTheLeader-0.4\renpy\script.py", line 898, in lookup
    raise ScriptError("could not find label '%s'." % str(original))
ScriptError: could not find label 'U4scan'.

Windows-8-6.2.9200
Ren'Py 7.3.5.606
v0.4 0.4
Sat Jan 15 04:37:05 2022
SuperWriter said, he looks into it, i hope he release a patch soon for this
 

Deleted member 1412183

Well-Known Member
Game Developer
May 15, 2019
1,725
8,219
Same here. No way forward.

Code:
I'm sorry, but an uncaught exception occurred.

While running game code:
  File "game/U4.rpy", line 1753, in script
    jump U4scan
ScriptError: could not find label 'U4scan'.

-- Full Traceback ------------------------------------------------------------

Full traceback:
  File "game/U4.rpy", line 1753, in script
    jump U4scan
  File "...\FtL-0.4-pc\renpy\ast.py", line 1697, in execute
    rv = renpy.game.script.lookup(target)
  File "...\FtL-0.4-pc\renpy\script.py", line 898, in lookup
    raise ScriptError("could not find label '%s'." % str(original))
ScriptError: could not find label 'U4scan'.

Windows-8-6.2.9200
Ren'Py 7.3.5.606
v0.4 0.4
Thu Jan 13 23:20:39 2022
Hi i have this error, how can I continue the game?

Code:
I'm sorry, but an uncaught exception occurred.

While running game code:
  File "game/U4.rpy", line 1753, in script
    jump U4scan
ScriptError: could not find label 'U4scan'.

-- Full Traceback ------------------------------------------------------------

Full traceback:
  File "game/U4.rpy", line 1753, in script
    jump U4scan
  File "C:\Users\n\Downloads\Follow the Leader [v0.4]\rpdl.net-FollowTheLeader-0.4\renpy\ast.py", line 1697, in execute
    rv = renpy.game.script.lookup(target)
  File "C:\Users\n\Downloads\Follow the Leader [v0.4]\rpdl.net-FollowTheLeader-0.4\renpy\script.py", line 898, in lookup
    raise ScriptError("could not find label '%s'." % str(original))
ScriptError: could not find label 'U4scan'.

Windows-8-6.2.9200
Ren'Py 7.3.5.606
v0.4 0.4
Sat Jan 15 04:37:05 2022
SuperWriter said, he looks into it, i hope he release a patch soon for this
oh nice thank you for your answer
Hey guys. The bug has been fixed. Please redownload the game because a new version has been uploaded!

Thank you for pointing out this bug
 

EvolutionKills

Well-Known Member
Jan 3, 2021
1,085
3,459
I've had bad experiences on here from users trolling or just being rude, but I don't think it would be fair to just automatically be rude to everyone else because I'm fed up.

I'm in this thread to answer any questions and listen to constructive criticism. I have taken ideas and feedback from you guys and implemenetrd them in my game, like Anoushka becoming a love interest instead of a side character.

Or changing an option where you could only sleep with Anoushka if you stopped Nine.

So, I will absolutely listen to everything you have to say, let's just please be respectful to one another as human beings.

Okay, fair enough. Mea culpa.

Let me try again, with far less snark.


I wasn't enjoying the game, because I kept being frequently taken out of the experience by a number of things; mostly centering around the premise of the world itself, the actions of the Baron, the personality of Eight, and how they all don't mesh well together.

So first off, the world. It is one in which slavery is legal, and both human cloning and age acceleration exist but is illegal. But, we got slaves using mops to clean the floors. So either nobody invented the Roomba in this future, or it's another idiosyncrasy of the Baron. I get having slaves to do manual labor, but this choice just seems really anachronistic given the silver space onsies and the rest of the décor. There are plenty of other things the MC could be toiling away at other than something that my own middle class parents have been automating themselves since 2019 (and the Roomba itself dates back to 2002). Not that you can't have a future where the MC slaves away moping the floor, but you need the right setting for it to make sense rather than being anachronistic. It doesn't look like you opted for a grungy, lived-in, future setting a la dieselpunk, cyberpunk, or something along those lines.

Next up, the Baron. He is powerful and wealthy enough to have a personal harem of illegal vat-grown women that he rotates new stock in and out of on a semi-regular basis, his own security forces, in addition to owning slaves to do manual labor (again, in place of Roombas). We learn that the Baron has had prior vat-grown harem girls before the current batch, which is why they're numbered Eight through Ten, because apparently he has had so many of them he got tired of naming them and just went with numbers. So, he's evidently done this quite frequently before.

But what really puts a spotlight on most of the idiosyncrasies that keep breaking my immersion, is Eight and her personality and actions.

As a group, Eight, Nine, and Ten are vat-grown human clones. They had an accelerated growth program, in that they emerged mature rather than being born and raised on a normal human timescale. They also were subject to some sort of knowledge implant procedure that imparted them with the ability to communicate and interact with the world, but not any real experience living in it. This allows the entire harem to partake in the 'Really Was Born Yesterday' trope. This can be a fun and endearing trope, but can also turn problematic (when it turns into 'Born Sexy Yesterday' like Leeloo in The Fifth Element). From what I saw, it seems a pretty generic version of the former. The problem comes with how Eight approaches sex and sexuality.

At face, Eight reads like the worst kind of man-hating, third-wave feminist caricature. Okay, so why is she so much different than her equally vat-grown and information-implanted sisters? How and why do any of them know that they are an illicit commodity? If they can be implanted with knowledge of language and communication, why not also an acceptance of their role? It just seems like 'we have the tech to clone, grow, age, and implant-knowledge - but suggestion, coercion, or brainwashing is all just a bridge too far' seems really silly. Eight's personality and actions raise all kinds of red flags that cause me to question the underlying premise of the setting itself.

Now, when Eight and the Baron collide, things get even worse. After apparently putting up with her being standoffish for quite some time, the Baron decides to lay down his ultimatum; put out or else. Eight counters with threatening to expose his illegal cloning activity. This right here, this was that moment that cause the entire game to come to a screeching halt. This interaction is what highlighted everything else that had been bothering me a bit already, and shone it in stark relief.

For starters, again, why is she acting like this? It would seem like 'unwilling to have sex' would be a huge design flaw for a purposely vat-grown human clone destined for life in a harem. So, can they not control ther knowledge implant process enough to weed out such tendencies? If they can't, then why don't they have a Q&A system in place to weed out uncompliant clones if they're unable to simply prevent them from happening? Seems like the Baron should demand a refund for a purpose built sex slave that won't put out; that's a clearly faulty product.

If your Bugatti is having engine problems and isn't performing as advertised, you take it back to the dealership; you don't blow it up with a rocket launcher because you can.

Even assuming that they can't prevent uncooperative clones from happening and becoming the final end product, how do they come to learn of their predicament? How did they come to learn that they are clones, and illicit ones at that? I can perhaps buy not being able to completely indoctrinate al living human, but you can at least not give them access to the internet. They are cloned harem girls, purpose built for fulfilling the Baron's sexual pleasure. If they're capable of independent thought, giving them unfettered access to the internet seems like a really stupid idea. They don't need access to that level of information to make them better sex slaves. Smart people, aware of the limitations of the vat-grown indoctrination process, would exercise strict information control; especially if you want to maintain power and control over people whose very existence is highly illegal. You don't need science fiction mumbo-jumbo to figure this out, plantation slave owners in the antebellum south recognized that education was one of the single greatest threats to maintaining the status quo.

Even assuming all that; that Eight made it through illegal clone Q&A, that the Baron put up with her instead of immediately returning her to sender, that he gave them unfettered access to information that would empower them. He has now confronted her, and she makes her threat. Why does he react like it has any teeth? She's not a free citizen, she an illicit slave. He should control every aspect of their lives. Even if he was stupid enough to allow them access to such information before, he can simply strip that privilege away and lock her up in a room and be done with her. Her threat has no merit, because she hasn't been shown to have any ability to act upon it. How exactly is she going to contact the outside world? Especially when seconds later, we're introduced to the speed and ferocity of the Baron's personal Goon Squad.

She could do nothing, the Baron had all the power here. He could isolate her. He could have raped her. He could have gotten his Goon Squad to help rape her. He could have pulled the gun and raped her under threat of force. Did the Baron do anything of these things? No. He just went straight to the dumbest, most egomaniacal option; kill all of them (with a super anachronistic 1911 style pistol). Not even 'let the guards take her away, have some fun, then kill her'. Nope. Just kill her yourself on a whim. So the Baron took her threats seriously enough (again, when she has zero power to act on them) that he feels so threatened by the potential consequences of his illicit cloning being discovered, that he opts instead to commit a triple homicide.

I'm sorry, but there is no kind way to put this; that's dumb as hell.

It would be one thing if this was the culmination of a history of stupid mistakes made in the heat of the moment. But it isn't. You can say that this is a power trip, and maybe it is, but you haven't put the work into developing the character of the Baron enough to actually cash that particular check. So this doesn't come off as a tragic character flaw, but rather as the Baron make every dumb decision that is required to move plot along. The Baron isn't a character, because his constant stupidity is a necessary plot device.

Again, I'm sorry, but that really takes me out of the experience. I also don't know how to fix that without serious re-writing that would require either a redo for the entire premise and the world building, or a whole lot more time building up the characters and the world so that they do make sense. Because as of right now, they very much do not. They don't read as the actions taken by well motivated characters trying to obtain their desires, but rather as going through the motion required to move the plot along.

To use an analogy, you're on par with the final season of Game of Thrones, where the entire cast made bad decisions and acted against character (to be fair, that's not a problem when you've yet to really establish your characters) explicitly to move the plot along and wrap things up. It didn't come across as organic, but rather as cynical and contrived; because at the end of the day it was, as the show runners had grown tired with the series and just wanted out. So they contrived a plot to get from point A to Z as fast as possible, and then had their cast do all the stupid stuff required to get there (dragon lady turning genocidal, John Snow killing her, etc.). So I can't say for sure that's what happened here, but it feels like it. It reads like characters acting stupid just for the sake of plot contrivance.

After all that, I got to the part where the harem is helping to break the MC out of prison (again, a prison the Baron didn't use on Eight) with a butter knife, before I just couldn't take any more. I had to stop.

I get that you have Patreon supporters and a development schedule to keep, and even if you agreed 100% with that I wrote here, it almost certainly isn't feasible to put in the work to actually fix this. Maybe I'm the only one bothered by all this contrivance, but I still felt I had to say my piece, and I hope this time I did so with enough grace and respectfulness.



Now wait for all the butt-hurt fans to just scroll to the bottom and react with the facepalm emoji, because someone deigned to not like something that they really like, and further reinforce why putting this much effort into a thorough critique is usually a wasted effort here...
 
Last edited:
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kshyk

Member
Mar 18, 2018
365
813
Lol the goal of all of these games is to bang hot girls. I don't think my fellow pervs will get tired of that.
I dont mind I like it too. I'm just saying that all your games have almost the same plot (- You are the keeper of a three young girls. Guess What? You gonna follow the easy to guess dialog choices to have sex with all of them).
What I'm trying to say is that I like to fight for a reward. Man are conquerors.
Your game are good. And you are a talented person. But it's like playing next chapter Assassin's Creed games. Cool but almost the same as previous one.
 

Pinsel

Active Member
Dec 25, 2019
821
728
SuperWriter Thx for yor fast fix, But...

I notice in the fixed version now, Nine and Ten dosent have there talk after scaning at all. So there is no option that you can chose Ten to like you or not. Does it mean Ten like MC automaticliy or is there now a missing flag?

I am asking, because i like Ten, but not Nine. So i refused her erliear, but now it seams i blocked both.

(Hmm, Maybe, istead Nine, Ten comes to the sofa and they kissing and then "the Talk" goes the other way around.)
 
Last edited:
Sep 3, 2020
4,168
26,611
Lol the goal of all of these games is to bang hot girls. I don't think my fellow pervs will get tired of that.
nope never going to get tired of it

and I love that SuperWriter doesn't full the game whit too many girls so you don't have to wait for 100 updates

just to be with that one girl you like

but for me, I don't really play these games just to fuck a lot of girls

don't get me wrong but I'm more of a story kind of. guy

I know I know it's stupid but I'm more interested in why people are having sex

done the actual sex itself

you could put 100 sex scenes in a game

but if the story's no good

done. the Game is completely worthless to me

like for example I hate characters dat just have sex for the sake of having sex
 

Deleted member 1412183

Well-Known Member
Game Developer
May 15, 2019
1,725
8,219
Okay, fair enough. Mea culpa.

Let me try again, with far less snark.


I wasn't enjoying the game, because I kept being frequently taken out of the experience by a number of things; mostly centering around the premise of the world itself, the actions of the Baron, the personality of Eight, and how they all don't mesh well together.

So first off, the world. It is one in which slavery is legal, and both human cloning and age acceleration exist but is illegal. But, we got slaves using mops to clean the floors. So either nobody invented the Roomba in this future, or it's another idiosyncrasy of the Baron. I get having slaves to do manual labor, but this choice just seems really anachronistic given the silver space onsies and the rest of the décor. There are plenty of other things the MC could be toiling away at other than something that my own middle class parents have been automating themselves since 2019 (and the Roomba itself dates back to 2002). Not that you can't have a future where the MC slaves away moping the floor, but you need the right setting for it to make sense rather than being anachronistic. It doesn't look like you opted for a grungy, lived-in, future setting a la dieselpunk, cyberpunk, or something along those lines.

Next up, the Baron. He is powerful and wealthy enough to have a personal harem of illegal vat-grown women that he rotates new stock in and out of on a semi-regular basis, his own security forces, in addition to owning slaves to do manual labor (again, in place of Roombas). We learn that the Baron has had prior vat-grown harem girls before the current batch, which is why they're numbered Eight through Ten, because apparently he has had so many of them he got tired of naming them and just went with numbers. So, he's evidently done this quite frequently before.

But what really puts a spotlight on most of the idiosyncrasies that keep breaking my immersion, is Eight and her personality and actions.

As a group, Eight, Nine, and Ten are vat-grown human clones. They had an accelerated growth program, in that they emerged mature rather than being born and raised on a normal human timescale. They also were subject to some sort of knowledge implant procedure that imparted them with the ability to communicate and interact with the world, but not any real experience living in it. This allows the entire harem to partake in the 'Really Was Born Yesterday' trope. This can be a fun and endearing trope, but can also turn problematic (when it turns into 'Born Sexy Yesterday' like Leeloo in The Fifth Element). From what I saw, it seems a pretty generic version of the former. The problem comes with how Eight approaches sex and sexuality.

At face, Eight reads like the worst kind of man-hating, third-wave feminist caricature. Okay, so why is she so much different than her equally vat-grown and information-implanted sisters? How and why do any of them know that they are an illicit commodity? If they can be implanted with knowledge of language and communication, why not also an acceptance of their role? It just seems like 'we have the tech to clone, grow, age, and implant-knowledge - but suggestion, coercion, or brainwashing is all just a bridge too far' seems really silly. Eight's personality and actions raise all kinds of red flags that cause me to question the underlying premise of the setting itself.

Now, when Eight and the Baron collide, things get even worse. After apparently putting up with her being standoffish for quite some time, the Baron decides to lay down his ultimatum; put out or else. Eight counters with threatening to expose his illegal cloning activity. This right here, this was that moment that cause the entire game to come to a screeching halt. This interaction is what highlighted everything else that had been bothering me a bit already, and shone it in stark relief.

For starters, again, why is she acting like this? It would seem like 'unwilling to have sex' would be a huge design flaw for a purposely vat-grown human clone destined for life in a harem. So, can they not control ther knowledge implant process enough to weed out such tendencies? If they can't, then why don't they have a Q&A system in place to weed out uncompliant clones if they're unable to simply prevent them from happening? Seems like the Baron should demand a refund for a purpose built sex slave that won't put out; that's a clearly faulty product.

If your Bugatti is having engine problems and isn't performing as advertised, you take it back to the dealership; you don't blow it up with a rocket launcher because you can.

Even assuming that they can't prevent uncooperative clones from happening and becoming the final end product, how do they come to learn of their predicament? How did they come to learn that they are clones, and illicit ones at that? I can perhaps buy not being able to completely indoctrinate al living human, but you can at least not give them access to the internet. They are cloned harem girls, purpose built for fulfilling the Baron's sexual pleasure. If they're capable of independent thought, giving them unfettered access to the internet seems like a really stupid idea. They don't need access to that level of information to make them better sex slaves. Smart people, aware of the limitations of the vat-grown indoctrination process, would exercise strict information control; especially if you want to maintain power and control over people whose very existence is highly illegal. You don't need science fiction mumbo-jumbo to figure this out, plantation slave owners in the antebellum south recognized that education was one of the single greatest threats to maintaining the status quo.

Even assuming all that; that Eight made it through illegal clone Q&A, that the Baron put up with her instead of immediately returning her to sender, that he gave them unfettered access to information that would empower them. He has now confronted her, and she makes her threat. Why does he react like it has any teeth? She's not a free citizen, she an illicit slave. He should control every aspect of their lives. Even if he was stupid enough to allow them access to such information before, he can simply strip that privilege away and lock her up in a room and be done with her. Her threat has no merit, because she hasn't been shown to have any ability to act upon it. How exactly is she going to contact the outside world? Especially when seconds later, we're introduced to the speed and ferocity of the Baron's personal Goon Squad.

She could do nothing, the Baron had all the power here. He could isolate her. He could have raped her. He could have gotten his Goon Squad to help rape her. He could have pulled the gun and raped her under threat of force. Did the Baron do anything of these things? No. He just went straight to the dumbest, most egomaniacal option; kill all of them (with a super anachronistic 1911 style pistol). Not even 'let the guards take her away, have some fun, then kill her'. Nope. Just kill her yourself on a whim. So the Baron took her threats seriously enough (again, when she has zero power to act on them) that he feels so threatened by the potential consequences of his illicit cloning being discovered, that he opts instead to commit a triple homicide.

I'm sorry, but there is no kind way to put this; that's dumb as hell.

It would be one thing if this was the culmination of a history of stupid mistakes made in the heat of the moment. But it isn't. You can say that this is a power trip, and maybe it is, but you haven't put the work into developing the character of the Baron enough to actually cash that particular check. So this doesn't come off as a tragic character flaw, but rather as the Baron make every dumb decision that is required to move plot along. The Baron isn't a character, because his constant stupidity is a necessary plot device.

Again, I'm sorry, but that really takes me out of the experience. I also don't know how to fix that without serious re-writing that would require either a redo for the entire premise and the world building, or a whole lot more time building up the characters and the world so that they do make sense. Because as of right now, they very much do not. They don't read as the actions taken by well motivated characters trying to obtain their desires, but rather as going through the motion required to move the plot along.

To use an analogy, you're on par with the final season of Game of Thrones, where the entire cast made bad decisions and acted against character (to be fair, that's not a problem when you've yet to really establish your characters) explicitly to move the plot along and wrap things up. It didn't come across as organic, but rather as cynical and contrived; because at the end of the day it was, as the show runners had grown tired with the series and just wanted out. So they contrived a plot to get from point A to Z as fast as possible, and then had their cast do all the stupid stuff required to get there (dragon lady turning genocidal, John Snow killing her, etc.). So I can't say for sure that's what happened here, but it feels like it. It reads like characters acting stupid just for the sake of plot contrivance.

After all that, I got to the part where the harem is helping to break the MC out of prison (again, a prison the Baron didn't use on Eight) with a butter knife, before I just couldn't take any more. I had to stop.

I get that you have Patreon supporters and a development schedule to keep, and even if you agreed 100% with that I wrote here, it almost certainly isn't feasible to put in the work to actually fix this. Maybe I'm the only one bothered by all this contrivance, but I still felt I had to say my piece, and I hope this time I did so with enough grace and respectfulness.



Now wait for all the butt-hurt fans to just scroll to the bottom and react with the facepalm emoji, because someone deigned to not like something that they really like, and further reinforce why putting this much effort into a thorough critique is usually a wasted effort here...
Thanks for being constructive in criticism.

I will do my best to answer, but there's a lot you wrote, so I have to keep going back and reread it, and it's easy to get lost in all of the text.

Why is Eight acting like such a bitch? You are told the only reason you are alive is to have sex with a gross and sweaty man, and that's all you're worth, so you might be a little bitchy lol. Why do you tell her she is a clone, etc? Doctor Fisher, the one in the latest update is the one who has been trying to give the girls Independence and now is the one helping them escape, etc.

She is the reason they are able to think for themselves. And of course you learn her motivations of why she is helping them so much if you play the latest update

If you have not played the latest update, definitely do that because it sheds a lot of light on what's going on. Also, there is more reason to Eight's actions then what I just posted and you have to keep playing to find out what is going on.

You guys have not learned everything about the girls and there is a lot more to learn.

The baron gets pissed at Eight because she has the audacity to threaten him, not because he actually feels threatened. He is a man that has a God complex and expects his people that he literally gave life to obey him. And they should be kissing his feet.

As for the technology, we can compared to the reality we have right now in our real lives.

We have CLONING, of course animals and food, etc, but it's still there. We have AUTO-DRIVING in cars. We have ROOMBAS, but we still have plenty of manual labor.

So this universe is just a step up from our real lives and there is certainly no brainwashing that can easily be done. So in this universe there is simply no easy brainwashing and I don't think that's unrealistic.

I get that you probably have your preferences, and don't agree with a lot of things that break immersion for you, but I really do feel like the story is on a good track and there is some good world building there. And this game just doesn't click with you for whatever reason, which is okay, but I have been getting a lot of good feedback, so I feel like I'm on the right track.

And I hope I was able to answer your questions, but of course feel free to follow up.
 
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Deleted member 1412183

Well-Known Member
Game Developer
May 15, 2019
1,725
8,219
SuperWriter Thx for yor fast fix, But...

I notice in the fixed version now, Nine and Ten dosent have there talk after scaning at all. So there is no option that you can chose Ten to like you or not. Does it mean Ten like MC automaticliy or is there now a missing flag?

I am asking, because i like Ten, but not Nine. So i refused her erliear, but now it seams i blocked both.

(Hmm, Maybe, istead Nine, Ten comes to the sofa and they kissing and then "the Talk" goes the other way around.)
They are tied in that scene. That's the harem option building. You are already on Ten's route if you agreed to make the game with her so you will see that in the future updates. Don't worry
 
Sep 3, 2020
4,168
26,611
They are tied in that scene. That's the harem option building. You are already on Ten's route if you agreed to make the game with her so you will see that in the future updates. Don't worry
okay promise not to laugh but I just realized the game

has a new update out

I'm downloading it right now

not one-word:ROFLMAO: SuperWriter

I can sense that you are about to make a joke right now:ROFLMAO:
 

EvolutionKills

Well-Known Member
Jan 3, 2021
1,085
3,459
Thanks for being constructive in criticism.

I will do my best to answer, but there's a lot you wrote, so I have to keep going back and reread it, and it's easy to get lost in all of the text.
Fair. Very fair.


Why is Eight acting like such a bitch? You are told the only reason you are alive is to have sex with a gross and sweaty man, and that's all you're worth, so you might be a little bitchy lol. Why do you tell her she is a clone, etc? Doctor Fisher, the one in the latest update is the one who has been trying to give the girls Independence and now is the one helping them escape, etc.

She is the reason they are able to think for themselves. And of course you learn her motivations of why she is helping them so much if you play the latest update

If you have not played the latest update, definitely do that because it sheds a lot of light on what's going on. Also, there is more reason to Eight's actions then what I just posted and you have to keep playing to find out what is going on.

You guys have not learned everything about the girls and there is a lot more to learn.
Okay, fair enough. I still think that there is a disconnect here. If the Baron has done this so much before, and if this tampering is something new, then Eight's actions must really make her stand out from her predecessors; in such a way that should very obviously be raising alarms and red flags. If this doctor is is trying to be subtle with her subterfuge, it appears she is failing quite dramatically. One hopes that she's doing so to rebel as a means of redemption or something, and that her prior work for the Baron has somehow been coerced; giving her a solid motivation to make stupid mistakes in pursuit of idealism.


The baron gets pissed at Eight because she has the audacity to threaten him, not because he actually feels threatened. He is a man that has a God complex and expects his people that he literally gave life to obey him. And they should be kissing his feet.
Okay, I get that, but I think it is a distinction without a difference. I didn't get that impression of the Baron from what I saw leading up to that. He seemed vanilla, run-of-the-mill, out of touch, rich entitled asshole; not a megalomaniacal god-king with a napoleon complex. Xerxes he is not. So I think you still run afoul of my prior criticism, in that you hadn't done enough to establish the character of the Baron. In your head, he has an archetype and motivations, but you didn't put in enough work, supporting details, and characterization so that the audience can see him from that perspective.


As for the technology, we can compared to the reality we have right now in our real lives.

We have CLONING, of course animals and food, etc, but it's still there. We have AUTO-DRIVING in cars. We have ROOMBAS, but we still have plenty of manual labor.
Honestly, the mopping is a bit nit-picky. The silver onesie pajama uniform honestly bothered me more, reminding me of cheap B-Movie direct-to-video science fiction films of the 80's (and not the goofy, fun ones).


So this universe is just a step up from our real lives and there is certainly no brainwashing that can easily be done. So in this universe there is simply no easy brainwashing and I don't think that's unrealistic.
I think that seems really idiosyncratic in a world where artificially aged vat-grown human clones having knowledge directly implanted is possible. I mean, did I read that wrong? Because that's what I was under the impression that their upbringing largely entailed; being very much akin to the 'tank born' Grunt of Mass Effect 2. I just don't see it as a stretch or a bridge-too-far that if you can implant knowledge of language effectively in vitro, then following up with 'you have a master, it is your life's mission to serve them, this is good and you should derive pleasure from serving them' should be doable given the current rule-set. You don't need brain-washing if you have 100% control of the environment and information; then it is regular old conditioning, and that works.


I get that you probably have your preferences, and don't agree with a lot of things that break immersion for you, but I really do feel like the story is on a good track and there is some good world building there. And this game just doesn't click with you for whatever reason, which is okay, but I have been getting a lot of good feedback, so I feel like I'm on the right track.

And I hope I was able to answer your questions, but of course feel free to follow up.

Thank you for your time, and I wish you the best of luck, even if it's not my particular jam.
 
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Nebulotus

New Member
Aug 22, 2021
5
26
Okay, fair enough. Mea culpa.

Let me try again, with far less snark.


I wasn't enjoying the game, because I kept being frequently taken out of the experience by a number of things; mostly centering around the premise of the world itself, the actions of the Baron, the personality of Eight, and how they all don't mesh well together.

So first off, the world. It is one in which slavery is legal, and both human cloning and age acceleration exist but is illegal. But, we got slaves using mops to clean the floors. So either nobody invented the Roomba in this future, or it's another idiosyncrasy of the Baron. I get having slaves to do manual labor, but this choice just seems really anachronistic given the silver space onsies and the rest of the décor. There are plenty of other things the MC could be toiling away at other than something that my own middle class parents have been automating themselves since 2019 (and the Roomba itself dates back to 2002). Not that you can't have a future where the MC slaves away moping the floor, but you need the right setting for it to make sense rather than being anachronistic. It doesn't look like you opted for a grungy, lived-in, future setting a la dieselpunk, cyberpunk, or something along those lines.

Next up, the Baron. He is powerful and wealthy enough to have a personal harem of illegal vat-grown women that he rotates new stock in and out of on a semi-regular basis, his own security forces, in addition to owning slaves to do manual labor (again, in place of Roombas). We learn that the Baron has had prior vat-grown harem girls before the current batch, which is why they're numbered Eight through Ten, because apparently he has had so many of them he got tired of naming them and just went with numbers. So, he's evidently done this quite frequently before.

But what really puts a spotlight on most of the idiosyncrasies that keep breaking my immersion, is Eight and her personality and actions.

As a group, Eight, Nine, and Ten are vat-grown human clones. They had an accelerated growth program, in that they emerged mature rather than being born and raised on a normal human timescale. They also were subject to some sort of knowledge implant procedure that imparted them with the ability to communicate and interact with the world, but not any real experience living in it. This allows the entire harem to partake in the 'Really Was Born Yesterday' trope. This can be a fun and endearing trope, but can also turn problematic (when it turns into 'Born Sexy Yesterday' like Leeloo in The Fifth Element). From what I saw, it seems a pretty generic version of the former. The problem comes with how Eight approaches sex and sexuality.

At face, Eight reads like the worst kind of man-hating, third-wave feminist caricature. Okay, so why is she so much different than her equally vat-grown and information-implanted sisters? How and why do any of them know that they are an illicit commodity? If they can be implanted with knowledge of language and communication, why not also an acceptance of their role? It just seems like 'we have the tech to clone, grow, age, and implant-knowledge - but suggestion, coercion, or brainwashing is all just a bridge too far' seems really silly. Eight's personality and actions raise all kinds of red flags that cause me to question the underlying premise of the setting itself.

Now, when Eight and the Baron collide, things get even worse. After apparently putting up with her being standoffish for quite some time, the Baron decides to lay down his ultimatum; put out or else. Eight counters with threatening to expose his illegal cloning activity. This right here, this was that moment that cause the entire game to come to a screeching halt. This interaction is what highlighted everything else that had been bothering me a bit already, and shone it in stark relief.

For starters, again, why is she acting like this? It would seem like 'unwilling to have sex' would be a huge design flaw for a purposely vat-grown human clone destined for life in a harem. So, can they not control ther knowledge implant process enough to weed out such tendencies? If they can't, then why don't they have a Q&A system in place to weed out uncompliant clones if they're unable to simply prevent them from happening? Seems like the Baron should demand a refund for a purpose built sex slave that won't put out; that's a clearly faulty product.

If your Bugatti is having engine problems and isn't performing as advertised, you take it back to the dealership; you don't blow it up with a rocket launcher because you can.

Even assuming that they can't prevent uncooperative clones from happening and becoming the final end product, how do they come to learn of their predicament? How did they come to learn that they are clones, and illicit ones at that? I can perhaps buy not being able to completely indoctrinate al living human, but you can at least not give them access to the internet. They are cloned harem girls, purpose built for fulfilling the Baron's sexual pleasure. If they're capable of independent thought, giving them unfettered access to the internet seems like a really stupid idea. They don't need access to that level of information to make them better sex slaves. Smart people, aware of the limitations of the vat-grown indoctrination process, would exercise strict information control; especially if you want to maintain power and control over people whose very existence is highly illegal. You don't need science fiction mumbo-jumbo to figure this out, plantation slave owners in the antebellum south recognized that education was one of the single greatest threats to maintaining the status quo.

Even assuming all that; that Eight made it through illegal clone Q&A, that the Baron put up with her instead of immediately returning her to sender, that he gave them unfettered access to information that would empower them. He has now confronted her, and she makes her threat. Why does he react like it has any teeth? She's not a free citizen, she an illicit slave. He should control every aspect of their lives. Even if he was stupid enough to allow them access to such information before, he can simply strip that privilege away and lock her up in a room and be done with her. Her threat has no merit, because she hasn't been shown to have any ability to act upon it. How exactly is she going to contact the outside world? Especially when seconds later, we're introduced to the speed and ferocity of the Baron's personal Goon Squad.

She could do nothing, the Baron had all the power here. He could isolate her. He could have raped her. He could have gotten his Goon Squad to help rape her. He could have pulled the gun and raped her under threat of force. Did the Baron do anything of these things? No. He just went straight to the dumbest, most egomaniacal option; kill all of them (with a super anachronistic 1911 style pistol). Not even 'let the guards take her away, have some fun, then kill her'. Nope. Just kill her yourself on a whim. So the Baron took her threats seriously enough (again, when she has zero power to act on them) that he feels so threatened by the potential consequences of his illicit cloning being discovered, that he opts instead to commit a triple homicide.

I'm sorry, but there is no kind way to put this; that's dumb as hell.

It would be one thing if this was the culmination of a history of stupid mistakes made in the heat of the moment. But it isn't. You can say that this is a power trip, and maybe it is, but you haven't put the work into developing the character of the Baron enough to actually cash that particular check. So this doesn't come off as a tragic character flaw, but rather as the Baron make every dumb decision that is required to move plot along. The Baron isn't a character, because his constant stupidity is a necessary plot device.

Again, I'm sorry, but that really takes me out of the experience. I also don't know how to fix that without serious re-writing that would require either a redo for the entire premise and the world building, or a whole lot more time building up the characters and the world so that they do make sense. Because as of right now, they very much do not. They don't read as the actions taken by well motivated characters trying to obtain their desires, but rather as going through the motion required to move the plot along.

To use an analogy, you're on par with the final season of Game of Thrones, where the entire cast made bad decisions and acted against character (to be fair, that's not a problem when you've yet to really establish your characters) explicitly to move the plot along and wrap things up. It didn't come across as organic, but rather as cynical and contrived; because at the end of the day it was, as the show runners had grown tired with the series and just wanted out. So they contrived a plot to get from point A to Z as fast as possible, and then had their cast do all the stupid stuff required to get there (dragon lady turning genocidal, John Snow killing her, etc.). So I can't say for sure that's what happened here, but it feels like it. It reads like characters acting stupid just for the sake of plot contrivance.

After all that, I got to the part where the harem is helping to break the MC out of prison (again, a prison the Baron didn't use on Eight) with a butter knife, before I just couldn't take any more. I had to stop.

I get that you have Patreon supporters and a development schedule to keep, and even if you agreed 100% with that I wrote here, it almost certainly isn't feasible to put in the work to actually fix this. Maybe I'm the only one bothered by all this contrivance, but I still felt I had to say my piece, and I hope this time I did so with enough grace and respectfulness.



Now wait for all the butt-hurt fans to just scroll to the bottom and react with the facepalm emoji, because someone deigned to not like something that they really like, and further reinforce why putting this much effort into a thorough critique is usually a wasted effort here...
I personally feel that your initial critique in this thread made some valid points that ultimately sort of lost out to a somewhat antagonistic and snarky undertone. Your subsequent responses to Super Writer were mostly just venomous and admittedly frustrating to watch unfold.

Massive respect for this mea culpa and taking the road less travelled. Triple bonus points for the mostly snark-free, extensive, fair, concise and well-reasoned critical analysis that followed!

I just wanted to acknowledge your efforts here and maybe gently point out to those reaching for the face-palm emoji that criticism isn't necessarily a bad thing. Well intentioned thoughtful feedback can be absolutely invaluable to any creative truly interested in improvement. Growth doesn't typically happen in a vacuum, outside input can be helpful, if not necessary.
 

K18

Well-Known Member
Apr 19, 2018
1,006
6,968
SuperWriter I appreciate how in the latest v0.4 update players can now have MC bang Anoushka on the "Support Nine" choice without losing relationship points with Nine and without slowing down MC & Nine relationship. As well as Anoushka now being promoted to main girl love interest status for future updates. Which from my gaming experience doesn't happen too often where the initially side female character/one-off fling gets upgraded to main love interest status and being more significant.
Seeing how previously the only way to get Anoushka sex scene in v0.3 update was stopping Nine (not supporting her) from shooting the corrupt cops and sacrificing relationship points with Nine.

Other highlights i liked in 0.4 update was seeing Nine & MC relationship progressing swiftly, i love that gentle giant caramel goddess. Liked Nine & Ten talking about being a harem romantic relationship with MC this earlier into the story. Surprised to see Eight finally start to change from her man-hating & generalizing ways and finally chill herself out around MC (playing the path of MC being the bigger/mature person and on her side). I do like scene showing Nine holding herself accountable, apologizing to MC for putting him on the spot in the trading scene and endangering everybody and their chances of escaping. Good job so far making the MC a competent person & proactive and not a pushover just going with the flow by other characters.

Lol the goal of all of these games is to bang hot girls. I don't think my fellow pervs will get tired of that.
And yes, i'll never get tired of the Protagonist/MC (especially a competent one) banging 3+ multiple hot girls and even more so those hot girls being cool and happy with each other sharing the MC simultaneously forming a big harem couple.

Just like how all fans/consumers have their own preferences/kinks/niches, so does the content creators & artists. So please continue on giving us legit harems with MC banging & romancing bunch of hot girls.

It really makes me sad when I see comments like this. I'm a black man, and if I had the same attitude, I would miss out on 95% of these visual novels that have a white MC, and so I would be passing on some great games.
There are tons of games in this community with mostly white men as the main, so I'm sure you won't have any trouble finding the type of guy you want. Happy hunting =]
I for one greatly appreciate you having a Black Male MC and/or simply a Brown/Dark-skinned Male MC (regardless of ethnicity & regardless if fictional race or based on IRL) in your visual novel game Follow the Leader and previous game Sun Breed. I like visual variety in my Male MC's appearance as much as i like variety in all the female love interest appearances.
Just like you mentioned about 95% of the visual novels on F95 has a White MC (and/or Pale/Fair-skinned MC), so it's baffling seeing these complaints about the 5% of the visual novels having a Black; Brown/Dark-skinned Male MC. If were roles switched you'd look silly & dumb refusing to play any of the 95% games with a Pale/White MCs, missing out on some good games (Heck half of the White Male MCs lack variety too, using the same scrawny default Lucas 8/Michael 8 models). So It's refreshing seeing a MC that looks different, also having interracial scenes with a Brown/Dark-skinned Male MC that's portrayed in a romantic & normal way and not in a stereotypical matter (the stereotype/cliche of a Black Man mostly being used in scenes with cuckold, swinging/sausage-fests, raceplay, etc.).
We all have preferences and kinks of what we do and don't like, but it's another thing when you express it in a self-entitled & rude matter telling the creator to basically change it and be like everybody else. Instead of going about it in a respectful and constructive matter.
 
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House Of Black

Well-Known Member
Jun 5, 2020
1,268
4,173
I like SuperWriter's games. But he needs to change something in his style. Every game of his is the same. It's like Bethesda all over again, when all Fallouts And Elder Scrolls are basically the same. In every game of his your destiny is to fuck this 3 or 4 girls. It's not gonna work for much longer.
He doesn’t need to change a thing, either play it or get the fuck on, not a difficult decision.
 
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