- Mar 20, 2019
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You can hang out with her the night before, but see my explanation above re: pacing. I'd like to eventually look at rearranging some things, or at least making up an excuse to stretch out the timeline a bit. If Guy had been having offscreen interactions with Risa for a week, I think it'd make it easier to swallow when she asks him for a favor.
As is, I think it kinda works. I mean, I had a 20-something kid knock on my door a couple months ago, and ask if I could give him a ride to his friend's house a few miles away. Never met this dude before. He was just my neighbor's grandson. But, I'm a pretty easygoing guy, and I wasn't doing anything, so I did it. Wound up dropping him at a slightly sketchy house, and dipped out. Sometimes people do just do stuff.
If you're a nice Guy, you probably go into Lucien's because Risa seems genuinely anxious and desperate. If you're a little bit of a pervert-creep, you do it because the offer of booty is a strong incentive. If you're evil, you're probably just not that worried about what your concierge's drug dealer is going to do. This is an easy thing to overlook, but most drug dealers aren't unhinged psychopaths. They're just guys who are there to sell you drugs, and not cause trouble.
Hum, hum, hum.. Trying to decide what I can/should respond to, here. Some of the stuff you're laying out is just like.. Future story fodder.You already know my feelings about Risa, so bias aside(I hope), this was the first time in this game when I rolled my eyes at the over the top try-hard storyline and justifications she was throwing. I feel like the game tries way to hard to make her appear more complex than she is and it kinda makes her look like she has split personality when she switches from tragic damsel to manipulative flirt. I also saw 'the twist' coming a mile away and still didn't believe it will be this
From downplaying her fault in the trafficking, to the fact that she is mostly portrayed as smart and resourceful, yet was too dumb to realize what was going on, to the interesting detail that she seems to be the onlyJunkiegirl Lucien doesn't sexually abuse, everything seems so far fetched that it takes me out of it. The game really, really wants you to like and care about Risa.
Edit: I hope the Pepper Twin 'Retcon' stays and its not a bait and switch. I hated her being a camwhore, for me it has joined to form the trifecta of overused tropes, cheated MC backstory, Raped LI backstory and now OF/Camwhore LI.
re: Risa -- This chapter we're seeing her at a low, when some of the mask of her flirty, attention-seeking behavior has fallen away. I don't think that's really indicative of a split personality, so much as someone behaving differently, under different circumstances. We'll see more of her (quiet down, I can't hear you over the applause!) and see those two sides of her unified. It's not like she's going to be sullen and bereft from here on out, nor is she going to go right back to her over-the-top flirtations. But, she's not the first person in the world to hide her depression behind a larger-than-life personality. So, I'm not sure what about it strikes people as so odd, besides the compressed timeline making her character advance very quickly. Which, I do think is a problem.
I also don't really see her as smart and resourceful? Or absolved of her complicity? Like, she flat-out asks Guy for help, because she doesn't know how to solve this on her own. She outright states that she can't undo what she's done, and has to live with it forever.
As for how the game (i.e. me) wants you to feel about Risa.. I mean, I'd prefer all the characters to be engaging, in their own ways. I'm not overly interested in whether or not you like her. Don't like her? Don't romance her. At least I give you that option.
I mean, Hell. I even give you the option to nope out of her story entirely, if that's what you want. So, I'm really not sure why people want to act like I'm handcuffing them to this character.
re: Pepper -- Not a fake-out, not an imaginary story. Also, not a retcon. This was planned from the beginning -- go back and look at Sapphire's eyebrows. They tell no lies.
Huh! That's interesting, I never would've thought anyone would confuse them.. We haven't seen much of Cassie, but she's pretty short, and Kansas isn't. The eyes might be a little similar, but she's actually using Viola's model as a base.
I'll be honest, I'd have liked to reply to everything.. But, that was a lot. And you did give me a tldr, so let's start there. I don't agree that it's on rails, more than any other VN. I mean, less than most, really. You can choose how to approach Lucien, how to handle Cherry's presence there, how to handle the situation once you're clear of the place, where to take Risa after the events of the morning, how to handle her/change your relationship with her, and finally whether or not you want to engage with her plotline at all. So. I'm not seeing the rails, besides that you went to a place and met a guy you didn't like.
Kid gloves? Well.. I'm not sure how that's the case. See above reply. People seem convinced I'm trying to make Risa into an innocent princess, and that's just.. Not so. She has a bad side, and a sympathetic side. That's all. The fact is, Risa is a fuck-up. That's.. Kind of the nature of drug abusers. I have a brother who abused drugs for over 20 years. Over the course of my life he's lied to me, borrowed money under false pretenses with zero intention of repaying me, and even stole painkillers I had prescribed to me, following a surgery. A habitual fuck-up, not dissimilar from Risa. But, he's always had his good side, too. It's just that his positives became muted when he was using.
MC straight-up says it when confronting her dad. Paraphrasing: She's flawed, but she's a good person.
A huge part of the game is that everyone has in them the potential to be made better. Guy and Nicki were always people with skills that could benefit others, but they were stuck in their shitty convenience store jobs, due to circumstance. Ashe was always smart, but it wasn't until she was given the opportunity to prove it, that she did so. Gabby could and should be working on her art, but instead she's chained to the family business. On and on. So, it stands to reason that Risa, given the right guidance and opportunity, could do more.
As for lack of focus.. Eh, maybe! I mean, it's a big, serial story. It's always been kind of the nature of the thing to wander here or there. I could tell you that I know how the pieces are supposed to align, and that each character's plotline is a step towards the next story point. But, stuff happens. I never really intended for certain plotlines to drag out or resolve as quickly as they did. There's things I'd like to go back and shore up, and things I'd like to clarify. The rework of Chapter One will ameliorate some of that. The rest will have to wait until Season One is wrapped up, and I can address some broader deficiencies. A big one for me is just.. Pacing. If everything over the last nine chapters took place over the span of a month, rather than a week and a half, that'd help shore up some deficiences in certain relationships. I kinda boned myself by putting Gabby's dad in jail, and not getting him out sooner. Instead I kept kicking the can down the road, to add other stuff.
Again.. Stuff happens. I don't have the benefit of sitting down and editing and refining for months. I write it, code it, and render it, all in the span of four months or so. Not making excuses, just explaining. Okay, quick lightning round replies.
Lucien - I mean, you say it's a disaster, but you also ended the interaction wanting to destroy him, and wondering why you now had to sit through other, more tedious interactions. So, it seems kinda successful, on that level. I understand where you're coming from, but follow my logic. A concerned MC has tried to help Cherry, and been unsuccessful. He's tried to call the cops, who found the place abandoned. Now, all he has is Risa, his one link to the place, who's incapable of being any real help at the moment. What's he going to do, besides wait and strategize?
Carl - Your main objection seems to be that he's a thinly-drawn caricature of a rich elitist. And.. That's really not far off. But, he's also not really wrong. Look at all the people in this thread, who have said Ashe would be nothing without Guy's job offer. If that's true, then the same thing applies to Guy. He didn't earn his wealth. He just got lucky. Now, does it matter to Mr. Rhodenbarr that Guy's since gone on to do good, proving himself smart and capable? Not really. Why would it? He's still just a gambler. And, he circumvented Risa's normal route home, even if he was unaware he was doing it. Hell, he brought Risa into a drug den! Why wouldn't Carl hate this guy's fucking guts, and waste no time in trying to talk down to him and drive him off?
But, despite his antipathy for Guy, it should be noted that he does actually care about his daughter. It's just a completely toxic kind of care. Risa's made mistakes, but she outright states that constantly being squeezed by her family apparatus, contributed to her relapse. Carl's built a golden cage for his prized daughter, where nothing can get in to hurt her, but nor can she get out. Her life isn't her own, so is it any surprise she'd seize on drugs, just to escape from her reality for a while?
Even beside that, I think he has a little more depth than you say. You can see his persona as a corporate raider, captain of industry type break, when Guy approaches Carl in a more conciliatory manner. He's no longer angry, and he just looks like a tired old man.
Risa - I'm going to brush past story-necessary stuff. You've made it clear you just don't really like the direction of this development, so that is what it is. I'll just focus on the whole thing of how Guy responds to Risa. So, there's the three basic routes -- side with Lucien, side with Risa, or just try to ignore the whole situation and go home. So, you've got some freedom there.
Now, onto the general tenor of the interaction, as you seem to want some comeuppance for Risa. Let's assume a Dark Guy who only pretends to help Risa will just tell her whatever he needs to, to earn her trust. So, I see no reason for him to berate her. A Corrupt Guy who doesn't really care will just wash his hands of all this and go home. So, that leaves Good Guy.
Good Guy does get angry and demand answers, as you say. What is he realistically supposed to say to Risa, after she just broke down into angry tears? Will it do any good to tell her she's a dumb fuck-up stoner loser? I mean, she said all that herself, already. She's aware. From a character standpoint, I don't know why a Good Guy would just continue to shit on her.
And from a story standpoint.. Why would that be interesting? We've seen her at a high and at a low. We've agreed to help her. She's being given the chance to prove herself. Wouldn't it be more interesting for her and Guy to grow closer, and then maybe she backslides and fucks up, and Guy has to have the come-to-Jesus talk, where he explains that he won't let her be a liability? At that point, the choice of tough love v.s. just tough v.s. pushover gets a little more interesting.
Pepper - I mean.. If you're skipping the webcam stuff, you're skipping a substantial part of her story. Don't know what to tell you, there. You'll eventually get to a point where her story gets a little more interesting, but skipping that stuff for now is going to limit her content for a bit.
General thoughts.. I dunno, man! I think that you were kind of dead-set on hating the chapter ahead of time, so I'm not surprised you came to the conclusion you hated it. Do I wish it was otherwise? Sure. But, you seem to have taken up the position it was always going to be bad.
I'm not trying to be a dick here, but looking at most of your recent posts in here, it's just a lot of, "Neon's fucked up, Neon's fucked up, he's really fucked up this time, game's doomed, oh no, it's all over, if only he'd listened to us.."
I'm trying to think of a way to say this without being an asshole, but: it's not my job to listen to my audience. I build it. They come. (Wokka, wokka!) If I listened to my audience, the game would be called Brittani's Fat Titties, and every chapter would be Guy deciding which of his 11 beautiful Brittani clones he wanted to fuck that day.
And because I'm having fun, let's go to the comment history! Again, just negativity and asking for more dark content. Your first comment in this thread is, "It sucks."
Once more, with feeling!
Again -- I'm trying so hard not to be a dick. But, if what you contribute to the thread is 90% negativity.. I don't really care about pleasing you. If you only show up to piss in the punch bowl, I have to assume you're not really here to drink the punch.
That said, I always appreciate thoughtful critiques like ename144's, even when I disagree with them. It's nice to have well-reasoned, thoughtful criticism to consume. But, there's a not-insignificant contingent that will only show up to doomsay and complain, and that's just.. Not useful. Besides just making me feel less motivated, they also don't really give me anything to work with.
Let's be real, a lot of the comments I get are just some variation of, "Why didn't you make a different story? One I'd have liked?"
Well.. Because I have to make one *I* like. I spend hours and hours on this project each week, and if I'm not having fun, the game's not getting made. So, my first concern is entertaining myself.
But, I also can't really do anything with, "Update sucked, get rid of this dumb character." It's just not actionable. "Oh, okay," Neon said, "I'll just delete the last chapter and start over. How about, instead of going to a drug den, Risa takes Guy to a threesome with Gabby and Brittani?"
This is an actionable complaint. I'm going to add the option for Guy to turn off the camera, rather than watch it. I think that'll be the easiest way to please everyone, without having to break the 4th wall and ask the player if they want to watch it. Sorry about that! I kicked around some ways to solve it, and somehow never ended up at the simplest one.
Sorry, afraid not. Someone posted a compressed version, I believe?
Brittani and Gabby both have these little side-plots involving their photos, that I really want to tighten up. A lot of that stuff was introduced really clumsily, and I want to go back and actually show MC discovering some of this stuff, and not just go, "Oh by the way, here's some stuff I found and never talked about." The main reason, honestly, is just that I was trying to get more lewds into the game, early on. So, having little things like Guy investigating and finding nudes of Gabby or Ashe online was an easy way to do that. Then, those plots got a bit of extra prominence, because it made for good drama.
But, then I wound up with these plotlines, built on a really unsteady foundation. So, I didn't want to spend too much time on that stuff, until I could fix some of the underlying problems. Basically, I just tried to de-emphasize the issue of the photos, until I could circle back. But also, I think the other commenter made a good point about Guy not trying to out himself as a little bit of a creep.
I'd expect to see Guy tell Ashe about the photos, a little down the line, after they're settled as friends, FWBs, or dating. Likely after she sits in on Brittani's casting call. Seems like a good place for it.
