- Thread starter NeonGhosts
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Lots of good conversation in this thread since I last checked. I'll need to re-play and reread the entire thing before I give any further opinion on the story. There is something there, some guys in this thread are tugging at an actual problem, but I'm not sure where the crux of the entire thing is. At the point I'm at it feels like Lucien's a mistake and putting Brent as the main antagonist would make more sense, but it's just a gut feeling for now after not having played the game for a while.
I did want to comment on two things. First, "chapter 8 9 10 were originally chapter 8, I vastly underestimated the work that goes into the game." Careful, that's a telltale sign of bloat and scope creep. And especially in this format, it may unbalance the whole thing and unfucking things is a bitch once they're "published".
The second thing is about the haters. First of all, yes, it is unfair. You (NeonGhost) are putting yourself out, actually putting in the work and creating something, only to have random bumblefucks who didn't do shit, nor put in any effort, come and rain on your parade. The thing is, as far as I can see it, for projects like this everything is peachy and great until suddenly it isn't and everything comes crashing down. And the shift is usually dramatic.
When looking back at such projects, the eventual last straw would usually have been pretty difficult to predict (besides the classic "First, I need to rebuild the game" or "I'll redo a few scenes...") but oftentimes the problems that accumulated up to that point were somewhat signaled before reaching the breaking point.
We tend to be lenient with the things that we love, glossing over problems because frankly they don't take away from our enjoyment. We give the game/movie/novel a pass, as it were. But it doesn't mean the problems are not here. Some haters are just shitters, but plenty are canaries in the coal mine, the first hint that something's gone wrong. And usually it's the only warning that arrives in time to correct course. That doesn't mean the haters are right, mind you. They usually mis-identify problems, get something right for the wrong reasons, plain misunderstand some things and we mostly only find nuggets of insight in their comments with the benefit on hindsight. But unless they're completely gone in the head, when they try to explain what they disliked, they are drawing things from your writing to build their logic, they're (mis)identifying an actual problem, something gone wrong, even if it's not technically the thing they're saying that is the root of the issue. But there is definitely something there. Most haters that can rationalize the problem they see in your work used to be fans (and I'd argue that the guys writing long-ass posts in this thread definitely still are) until something happened they reached a breaking point faster than anyone else, don't write their concerns off because they can't verbalize them well.
And even the random shitters have their uses, don't overly obsess over them, but if you're noticing an increase in haters, then it's an indicator in and of itself (for porn games, usually it's a sign you've been edging your community far too much).
A last piece of advice that's counter intuitive is that if you feel the need to write something, express something, create something, even if it's just a story of a dude fucking girls, you need to haul ass. Yeah we love stories of authors who matured a single story throughout their whole lives, but these dudes are the exception to the rule. Each day you stray further from the dude who started this story, in a sad way each day you stray further from the thing you wanted to express. 12-14 chapters and a season 2 sound great (not to me, it fills me with dread) but if a story's got you by the balls you need to put it to paper now. Yesterday, even. It's a trite, but life comes at you fast and there are plenty of news that would put a writing project on the backburner, or dissociate you from the story you started to tell.
And now as I write this I wonder if it's not what some people sensed. Last time I mentioned the protagonist being dissociated from its own story, but it may be that you, the author, are trying to fit in the story you want to tell now into the story you started telling, and it's causing rifts.
I'm just spitballing here, until I take the time to re-play everything.
I did want to comment on two things. First, "chapter 8 9 10 were originally chapter 8, I vastly underestimated the work that goes into the game." Careful, that's a telltale sign of bloat and scope creep. And especially in this format, it may unbalance the whole thing and unfucking things is a bitch once they're "published".
The second thing is about the haters. First of all, yes, it is unfair. You (NeonGhost) are putting yourself out, actually putting in the work and creating something, only to have random bumblefucks who didn't do shit, nor put in any effort, come and rain on your parade. The thing is, as far as I can see it, for projects like this everything is peachy and great until suddenly it isn't and everything comes crashing down. And the shift is usually dramatic.
When looking back at such projects, the eventual last straw would usually have been pretty difficult to predict (besides the classic "First, I need to rebuild the game" or "I'll redo a few scenes...") but oftentimes the problems that accumulated up to that point were somewhat signaled before reaching the breaking point.
We tend to be lenient with the things that we love, glossing over problems because frankly they don't take away from our enjoyment. We give the game/movie/novel a pass, as it were. But it doesn't mean the problems are not here. Some haters are just shitters, but plenty are canaries in the coal mine, the first hint that something's gone wrong. And usually it's the only warning that arrives in time to correct course. That doesn't mean the haters are right, mind you. They usually mis-identify problems, get something right for the wrong reasons, plain misunderstand some things and we mostly only find nuggets of insight in their comments with the benefit on hindsight. But unless they're completely gone in the head, when they try to explain what they disliked, they are drawing things from your writing to build their logic, they're (mis)identifying an actual problem, something gone wrong, even if it's not technically the thing they're saying that is the root of the issue. But there is definitely something there. Most haters that can rationalize the problem they see in your work used to be fans (and I'd argue that the guys writing long-ass posts in this thread definitely still are) until something happened they reached a breaking point faster than anyone else, don't write their concerns off because they can't verbalize them well.
And even the random shitters have their uses, don't overly obsess over them, but if you're noticing an increase in haters, then it's an indicator in and of itself (for porn games, usually it's a sign you've been edging your community far too much).
A last piece of advice that's counter intuitive is that if you feel the need to write something, express something, create something, even if it's just a story of a dude fucking girls, you need to haul ass. Yeah we love stories of authors who matured a single story throughout their whole lives, but these dudes are the exception to the rule. Each day you stray further from the dude who started this story, in a sad way each day you stray further from the thing you wanted to express. 12-14 chapters and a season 2 sound great (not to me, it fills me with dread) but if a story's got you by the balls you need to put it to paper now. Yesterday, even. It's a trite, but life comes at you fast and there are plenty of news that would put a writing project on the backburner, or dissociate you from the story you started to tell.
And now as I write this I wonder if it's not what some people sensed. Last time I mentioned the protagonist being dissociated from its own story, but it may be that you, the author, are trying to fit in the story you want to tell now into the story you started telling, and it's causing rifts.
I'm just spitballing here, until I take the time to re-play everything.
ok so a bit of a question, but will we see any actual bimbofication like we saw in the minisode,or will that remain the exclusive preview of dream sequences and the like?
- Mar 20, 2019
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I have a route planned for Brittani that will kind of lean into this.
what about inevitable branching, or it will be late game choice?
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- Jul 25, 2017
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I assume it will be optional / on a corruption or dark path right? Cant see myself wanting to romance her other than for the sake of seeing all the content if it isn't. While nothing against bimbofication in general I like how she isn't like her mother and well to be blunt don't think id enjoy it on a romance path. But hey that's just me im sure many would enjoy it if it isn't optional im just curious is all. Tho knowing your game I assume it will be an optional branch since you like to give us alot of choices
Yeah, I'm not into femdom, but I do like a strong-minded stubborn woman for w/e reason that has clear boundaries and knows what she wants. I think Pepper is that
Oh, btw, not replying to you specifically Desso, but now that I've seen Isabella, I'm not sure what you guys see in her that's redeemable personally lol. She absolutely seems like the cold, selfish user type. Her little story or w/e where she was a stripper looking at Brit's photo as a young girl, I am now fully convinced she was not looking at her in a "oh, I'd do anything for my little angel", but more "I fucking hate this fucking job, I hate these losers I have to dance naked for, and I hate that I'm forced to do it for this little shit I've been stuck with by some guy that knocked me up". She's the kind of mother that had no business becoming a mother, like some of the ones I occasionally see at the store who smack their kids over.. acting like kids. I wouldn't be surprised I guess if Neon gives her a little more to work with, but I see her as a monster, albeit a sexy one that I will have fun with on corruption/dark routes.
Well, I don't really agree with much here tbh, but on Lucien & Brent etc., I'm pretty sure Neon as stated multiple times this has been his plan all along. And speaking of them, this is just my personal opinion, ofc I'm not Neon so I don't know, but I have a hunch that Neon might try to give Brent the chance to grow & redeem himself a little bit. Maybe even Gabby's bf. They've been the kinds of antagonists we've seen up to this point, and we've despised them; but as soon as Lucien enters the picture, no one else really matters. It's a major shift in the story where the situation is fundamentally different in every single way and our perspective is changed going forward. Guy is going to need a LOT of help in taking down this motherfucker, and I think he may even need to turn to former enemies. If this is his plan, I'm all for it, but I'm really, really not looking forward to hearing the whiners poopooing on it.
From an author's perspective, I think they love to experiment and play with redemption stuff. I know everyone keeps bringing up GRRM as examples, but he's such a good one to reference; Jaime Lannister was a horrible, horrible person that the audience hates... but then GRRM redeems him in his later pov chapters and suddenly you just have this whole different perspective on him and almost feel sorry for him... and feel a connection to him and his struggles, even root for him. I think authors see it as a fun challenge for both themselves and the audience, and I'm right there alongside them tbh. Makes a story feel alive and complex.
Nice!
I wasn't expecting you to say her actually, but that sounds like fun. Nicki really did look good as a blonde, though Amazing how something as simple as a hair color change can bring something totally different.Ashe seemed like the obvious choice for a bimbo route to me, did you ever consider her at some point? Because while replaying her date this last update, I noticed you have a choice hidden behind an impossible amount of dark points where you call her a dumb bimbo and send her into the bathroom crying. Very well written dialogue btw, felt real. Did you change your mind on including that because you felt it didn't fit her character? Or because it felt too cliche or something? Or was it just time-related? Kinda fun finding little hidden outtakes like that in the code
Do you mind sharing what minisode you're referring to? I'm assuming it's not the one with Brett?
- Jul 25, 2017
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100% this is why I hate her too for all the reasons you said and why I don't understand why some people find her attractive if they look beyond her looks as well. If I did hate Risa for what she did ( I don't) I think id consider Isabella worst and hate her more. It will take alot and some damn good writing for me to find her redeemable imo.
- Aug 5, 2016
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On one hand body modification and bimbofication can be interesting for fap purposes.
On the other hand Brit has it bad enough with her pimp Mom and her creep bf.
Man, let us bimbofy Nicki or Mason, Brit has big boobs anyway
it is the the brett one, speicaly at the start during the dream sequence part of that episode
- Mar 25, 2021
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I'm willing to give Isabella the benefit of the doubt because of how hard she had it when Britt was young.
It's just when surrounded by arseholes constantly treating you like garbage sometimes their attitude rubs off on you.
- Feb 23, 2019
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My favourite character and my favourite genre of corruption. OH THANK YOU. This game just keeps getting better and better.
I look forward to seeing a fully corrupted, Bimbo Brittani.
... Hopefully one day we can have her marry the main character. Having her achieve the financially comfortable, high society life that a girl that beautiful wants and deserves, but acquired by being a barely legal, bimbo trophy wife.
A life of wearing expensive slutty clothes to galas
the finest designer bikinis at pool parties for the social elite,
having every want and need given to her in excess with no worries in the world
and all thats needed from Britt is for her to be paraded around as the finest prize for her top 1% husband.
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Real degens want that Mason HIMBOfy routeOn one hand body modification and bimbofication can be interesting for fap purposes.
On the other hand Brit has it bad enough with her pimp Mom and her creep bf.
Man, let us bimbofy Nicki or Mason, Brit has big boobs anyway
- Mar 13, 2021
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Just wondering why the dudes who are into this VN because of the dark paths always feel the need to be vocal about it.
- Jul 17, 2021
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Well, aren't we vocal about our love paths? Why can't they be vocal about theirs? I mean I do get tired of seein all of it and on occasion I have voiced my opinions on it, but in the end, they have just as much right as we do to post what they want. Just don't read what they post if it bothers you that much.
This is a very common trap a LOT of writers/authors fall into, to be honest. (Not in any way saying that's what is going on here, since I'm not all the way through the current content, still seems I might have a ways to go.) It's part of why, any time I'm working on a story or story driven game, I get the base outline done immediately, then I go back and do a less-rough but still not fully polished outline, with most major plot points and key decision points mapped out. In fact, I've pissed off a few writers I've developed story-line for because I wouldn't keep changing the story on the fly, based solely on THEIR mood, the placement of the stars in the sky, the weather, etc. I sat down with them at the beginning and hashed out the flow, we knew that flow worked, we weren't going to change it because their cat died or whatever. Granted, none of those we adult visual novels, but seriously, story-telling and writing are still story-telling and writing whether it's an AVN or a family-friendly narrative driven RPG.
- Oct 23, 2016
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All in all, I liked the new update. I wish I could get more for the characters I like, but hey, you even managed to make me not completely dislike Risa, and she was soooo very much grating on my nerves whenever she appeared.
The Lucien bit really got me riled up, that fucking savage. It was so frustrating, not to be able to do more, and in some ways I think MC might need a win in a situation like this. I mean, we couldn't even manage to get Mason's backpack back.
I don't ever want the MC to be a complete Gary Stu who can just kick the ass of everyone he can't sweet talk, but the amount of shit you had to take so far, even from Gabby's and Britanni's shitty ex, it's frustrating.
Don't get me wrong, I do not dislike this is in the story, it is clearly intentional, and I understand why, I'd say, but I am at a point where I am getting a bit tired of not being able to just give someone a good pounding, who deserves it.
And man, I am a middle-aged overweight fuck, but even for me in some situations a fist to the face seems like the best alternative if you don't want to be a doormat (and I mean not my face, the other guy )
I find it hard with Pepper atm, IDK if I missed watching webcam shit once or twice, did I get the whole scene with her or not?
I really like her character, but it seems painstakingly slow to get closer to her in some ways.
Which leads me to my one serious fear or problem with the game. I think there really are too many girls.
I like almost all of them, I like most of them a lot, and I don't mind anyone's story, but with so many girls and the current speed of development and how the story overall progresses, how long are you planing on working on this game? 20 years?
It already seems you have a shitload of variables to work with, and these will only increase the longer the game goes and the more the story with specific girls develops
It's your game, as you pointed out repeatedly it's up to you how you work on it and to which goals, but I do think constructive criticism is important, and I hope you see that I am speaking out of genuine love for your game (even if I don't have the money atm to support it the way I would like to) and not because I want everything to be done the way I like or tell you how to create your game.
Last but not least, more Mason is great, most of my favourites are popping up regularly, but there is a significant lack of Gabbi. :-(
The Lucien bit really got me riled up, that fucking savage. It was so frustrating, not to be able to do more, and in some ways I think MC might need a win in a situation like this. I mean, we couldn't even manage to get Mason's backpack back.
I don't ever want the MC to be a complete Gary Stu who can just kick the ass of everyone he can't sweet talk, but the amount of shit you had to take so far, even from Gabby's and Britanni's shitty ex, it's frustrating.
Don't get me wrong, I do not dislike this is in the story, it is clearly intentional, and I understand why, I'd say, but I am at a point where I am getting a bit tired of not being able to just give someone a good pounding, who deserves it.
And man, I am a middle-aged overweight fuck, but even for me in some situations a fist to the face seems like the best alternative if you don't want to be a doormat (and I mean not my face, the other guy
)I find it hard with Pepper atm, IDK if I missed watching webcam shit once or twice, did I get the whole scene with her or not?
I really like her character, but it seems painstakingly slow to get closer to her in some ways.
Which leads me to my one serious fear or problem with the game. I think there really are too many girls.
I like almost all of them, I like most of them a lot, and I don't mind anyone's story, but with so many girls and the current speed of development and how the story overall progresses, how long are you planing on working on this game? 20 years?
It already seems you have a shitload of variables to work with, and these will only increase the longer the game goes and the more the story with specific girls develops
It's your game, as you pointed out repeatedly it's up to you how you work on it and to which goals, but I do think constructive criticism is important, and I hope you see that I am speaking out of genuine love for your game (even if I don't have the money atm to support it the way I would like to) and not because I want everything to be done the way I like or tell you how to create your game.
Last but not least, more Mason is great, most of my favourites are popping up regularly, but there is a significant lack of Gabbi. :-(
- Oct 23, 2016
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First of all, they have just as much of a right to post here like everyone else does.
Secondly, I think I get it. Neonghost has already explained that playing the dark path will have significant consequences which will certainly lock you out completely of some paths, and I think if I was a dark-path player, I would feel concerned to get the short end of the stick, so to speak and that would be a reason to comment, whenever I see what I perceive as a problem.