- Thread starter arcaos
- Start date
Ok the grind is intense.. really $8/day.. wow that is the poorest farmer ever. Oh and it costs $8/day to live.. so $0/day to buy clothes which I have bought a lot of WRONG clothes there is nothing giving you a clue what clothes to buy it's even damn well longer. Now I can't afford to buy clothes or clean up as I am making no money after getting the mermaid girl.
BTW fix skip it is not working correctly. I can't just work than sleep and work than sleep.. I have to keep hitting skip.
BTW fix skip it is not working correctly. I can't just work than sleep and work than sleep.. I have to keep hitting skip.
Help me understand, are you just buying everything in the shop? Are the text hints beneath the quest items not showing for you?
No figuring out what to buy.. For example I purchased the T-shirt and Hotpants finally before I purchased things like cardigan and sun hat did not cover ears it took the cowboy hat purchase from the second hand shop than it accepted the sun hat. The only clear purchase was the yellow dress & stockings.. everything else was guessing if that is what was needed. The hints DO NOT show until you have already purchased.
So things I ended up purchasing that I did not need total trying to figure out what to buy.
1. T-Shirt and Hotpants
2. Blazer
3. After Sun Hat did not work I purchased the Novelty Cowboy Hat (finally the trigger worked for the other purchases for Tabitha)
So that is 3 purchases in funds that I did not need. Not only that I purchased the blazer before the cardigan as I did not know which one I needed for Tabitha.
I just did a speed run to get to that state and that's not what I'm seeing. That specific quest has been in the game since v0.1 as well and this is the first report that the hint isn't showing. If anyone can replicate the bug and provide a save file though, I'd be very grateful....
Yeah, i have access to spare room, but the lake is with the "?" and dont show name or "not yet unlocked", and if i click, nothing happen...
Hi Arcaos, hope everything is coming development of Greener Pastures! I got some critism and suggestions for you to consider as well as some compliments here and there - That is, if you're still motivated to continue this project, despite what you previously have stated here: https://f95zone.to/threads/im-arcaos-and-im-a-hack.80259/ 
. A friendly reminder that these are all just my thoughts upon your game. I hope you will take them with a grain of salt, and more importantly: not be taking this as me dumpstering your game. I have tried to give examples and suggestions, in the hopes that this will come off as constructive criticism more than anything else.
Also, As far as I can tell, you seem to be a new dev, making his (or her) first game, and I would like nothing else but for you to have a good experience with it. Now, without further ado, let's buckle up and get into it lol:
-I wanna begin with the script as what took me by surprise, the most, is how well its grammar is for a new game. In many new projects I have come across, the English have varied from being okay, to having several eye-piercing mistakes by every 5th line. Granted, I did find some punctuation errors and a few typo's here and there, but all in all, it was a breath of fresh air to not have a mistake, or an obnoxious formulation in every single conversation.
That said, somehow I couldn't help but get the feeling that there are some lines missing in between quite a bit of the dialogue? Not in the grammatical sense, or even context wise; the sentences do connect to each other, but somehow the pacing feels REALLY fast to me. An example of this would just be the introduction of Tabitha. I was thinking that Tabitha perhaps would be a bit more hesitant to come into the house, even from having listened to the MC, considering how cautious she was in the beginning in general. I was also missing a comment from Tabitha on the F.U.C.C. having rummaged through the MC's parents bedroom. In general I find that these "holes" could be solved, by adding in a few extra lines here and there, have characters go a little bit further along their own train of thought (especially MC's tend to do that in these sort of games lol). An example of this would be between Milibelle and the MC, when talking about the barn, having the MC tell a little more of how it got worse taking care of the farm, or/and have Milibelle tell more about her odd homefeeling towards barns, when she has never seen one before. Other times, I find it could be solved, by putting in some small extra words that makes the characters answer to each others statement more directly (the usual, "hmm", "yes", "no" and so on...). Example would be Tabitha asking if the MC was spying, and the MC would answer "No, I was eating...".
Or you could leave it as it is; I guess the faster pacing does make it feel like you get to the good stuff faster anyways lol.
-All in all the characters feel unique to each other, their motivations seems transparent, and their behaviors make sense (for the most part). Personally I find the early stages of Tabitha's mood to be swinging perhaps a tad much, even when taking into consideration her animal part being a cat (which are notorious for that kind of stuff). Also later in the story, I found her attitude go from hostile, to still hostile, but with wholesome moments (When you buy her the dress), to all happy and loveable. As of my personal opinion, it would make more sense if her still hostile behavior were just a bit more neutral (like she can still consider him a pervert and all, but to be saying he would enjoy molesting her is perhaps a bit much?). Also, while up to this point, there has been shown some sense of struggle from her side with her emotions, I found myself expecting her to struggle with them quite a bit more in the actual moment where she discovers his boner (in the handjob scene), before she would eventually give in and do it. I know she does start questioning it, while giving the handjob, but logically you would think she would have a harder time initiating it, rather than continue doing it?
Honestly I feel like I have given Tabitha a lot of crap, but she is the only one of the girls that I found there to be some weird inconsitencies with. The rest of the girls' behavior all feel natural, and their interactions with each other is executed properly too (The last part can also be said about Tabitha btw). Especially Ariana's character I find amazing and just downright hilarious. Sadly I can't say that I am particularly into her monster part...
Lastly the Mc... Let's just deal with the elephant in the room that is his eyes lol. I know from having read the comment section that you have already gotten enough shit for it, but I would find it unprofessional of me not to point it out in any case. What makes them stand out to me is when you get scenes where his eyes can be directly compared to other characters'. In those scenes, it becomes fairly weird for me to look at as he doesn't share eye-width with the rest of the more humanoid girls (refer to the picture below (Ariana excluded in this case)).
I also find it making it a bit hard to read the emotions of the MC, although that is usually the case for MC characters in general lol.
(P.s. I now realise aCaine basically have said the same thing in the post below, while comparing the eyes of the son and dad, with the mom lol: )
-In terms of gameplay, the game is very linear as you are already very aware off. My question for you, is whether you want to keep it that way, or whether you're looking for ways to diversify it a bit? Perhaps there could be some kind of stat system, to make it more RPG-like, or you could implement options for a stealth dating kind of game, where you want to have a good date with, them, but still needs to keep it lowkey not to get the F.U.C.C's attention. A 3rd option could be to have there be risky gambling games and/or choices for how to gain money for the farm. Like I said though, I am not entirely sure of your direction with it, so here was some ideas, if you were to not keep it linear.
Speaking of linearity, I have also seen that you have been debating over the game being a VN vs a sandbox in the comments. While I definitely can see where you are coming from with the linearity of the story, I do have to agree with the other players that this is a sandbox in the strict sense. However, looking at games like Lesson in Love and Harem Hotel, I see they get away with having VN included in their tags as well as sandbox, so I can't see why you shouldn't.
-Next up, I got some small logic inconsistencies, some small suggestions, and perhaps some bugs, that I will accomodate with some pictures. For the future though, I would definitely advice you to make a discord server, for people to come and leave bug reports and suggestions in. From my experience, that is definitely the most efficient way of doing it.
1. Starting out with the hints of what to buy (see image below), an idiot like me, who doesn't know what a Kimono is, might look at this hint and be confused whether the white sentence is ment for the product(s) above or beneath it. This should be an easy fix, by just chaging the space between new lines, so that the white line, can get closer to the upper one, or just have the next product be 2 lines beneath, instead of 1.
Secondly, you might want to rephrase this hint ever so slightly, as having it end on that part, makes it sound as if I should keep looking for something better suited for Tabitha. My suggestion: "While Tabitha doesn't have that sunny of a personality, this would fit her perfectly."
2. I have noticed that the game tends to have you wait one day, before new stuff triggers. An example of this is when you buy the dress and stockings for Tabitha. Once you give it to her (as in you trigger the scene where you give it to her), you still need to have it become the next day, before she starts wearing the dress, when you talk to her. The same day, she will still just show up as seen in the picture below. This is but one of many examples, which makes me curious, just how hardcoded into the game, this procedure is. As far as I can tell, whenever I have triggered a cutscene, I always need to wait for a new day, to trigger a new one. While it can be a bit whatever in terms of the events triggering, it feels weird to not see our Tabitha wearing it when the cutscene of her putting it on has played out.
3. In some of the dialogue, you have part of the sentences not showing immediatly, and only once I move forward does it become visible. Sometimes it feels natural, other times I find it looking kind of weird (such as the examples down below):
(In the last one here, she just says "Is it Tuna" first. I couldn't find it using the gallery option, when I later wanted to check again.)
4. I somehow got this line of dialogue (left pic), while she is usually only wearing her bra (right pic). I assume with "top", you only mean the green shirt, and not her upper body being fully naked right?
5. Nice "rat" you got there lol. (I assume that is just you making use of what you got available, but it's still hilarious)
6. At the time this happened, Serena haven't been doing any jobs that I am aware of. Does she have anything but spare time lol?
7. Serena is in this case still not unlocked, but her hints are still there, and she has already been welcomed by everyone. Shouldn't her portrait be visible and all then?
8. (I won't show this picture, as it is part of the H-scenes of the game) The porn tape "Sabrina Sparklez in puppy love" probably features the most lazy ass bottom of a threesome that I have ever seen. When Sabrina have Minnie and Maisie lying on top of her, they apparently do all the work, while Sabrina doesn't even move her tongue to lick lol.
9. Perhaps have the MC ask if Milibelle is ok? From the dialogue and this view, it doesn't look like he gives much of a fuck lol.
10. (Once again not posting the image here) Looking at the daydream featuring only Serena. Is she suppost to not have a pussy at all, or what's going on here? I for one, can't see it, and I refuse to believe it is the grass that covers it.
11. All the characters look so sad. I am aware that the photos change according to how far you are with them (and since we are in 0.2, that indeed ain't very far), also we are on a farm that's pretty damn poor. None of the less the girls are at least feeling decently comfortable here. Couldn't they smile just a little?
-Lastly, here are some more credits where it's due.
The daydream events are a great addition, considering that a farmer (or anyone working) probably would be daydreaming about stuff like that while working. Well done/thought out!
Bathroom peeks, while probably not original, is a nice touch. I imagine/hope they turn into more stuff, when the MC gets a little closer with the girls
I'm intrigued by the idea of having your income actually be in minus per day, so that you have to work for it everyday. Really emphasizes the idea of the Mc being really poor. Also I'm curious as to whether you ever intend on having the MC manage to actually make the income become positive. I don't mind either case, though I must say; it is somewhat of a bold mechanic to do, considering that it is a bit of a dull thing, making sure the MC have worked everyday. With how linear the game has been so far, it hasn't been an issue though, as there wasn't much else to do, other than Work--> interact with a character for the day --> go to bed, so I guess it all cancels out in the end.
With how poor the farm is, so far, I find it really fitting that the whole UI is basically a bunch of wooden planks with letters, pictures and/or incons on them. Once again it encompasses the idea of the farmer being poor. If you aren't thinking of it already, might I suggest that it could get updated to look more prestige, once/if the farmer ever gets richer?
Right that was it, and holy shit did I end up writing a bunch... Once again, I hope this feedback isn't discouraging you from the game, rather that it gives you some food for thought and ideas to consider.
Good morning/day/evening/night good sir and happy working spirit!
. A friendly reminder that these are all just my thoughts upon your game. I hope you will take them with a grain of salt, and more importantly: not be taking this as me dumpstering your game. I have tried to give examples and suggestions, in the hopes that this will come off as constructive criticism more than anything else.Also, As far as I can tell, you seem to be a new dev, making his (or her) first game, and I would like nothing else but for you to have a good experience with it
. Now, without further ado, let's buckle up and get into it lol:-I wanna begin with the script as what took me by surprise, the most, is how well its grammar is for a new game. In many new projects I have come across, the English have varied from being okay, to having several eye-piercing mistakes by every 5th line. Granted, I did find some punctuation errors and a few typo's here and there, but all in all, it was a breath of fresh air to not have a mistake, or an obnoxious formulation in every single conversation.
That said, somehow I couldn't help but get the feeling that there are some lines missing in between quite a bit of the dialogue? Not in the grammatical sense, or even context wise; the sentences do connect to each other, but somehow the pacing feels REALLY fast to me. An example of this would just be the introduction of Tabitha. I was thinking that Tabitha perhaps would be a bit more hesitant to come into the house, even from having listened to the MC, considering how cautious she was in the beginning in general. I was also missing a comment from Tabitha on the F.U.C.C. having rummaged through the MC's parents bedroom. In general I find that these "holes" could be solved, by adding in a few extra lines here and there, have characters go a little bit further along their own train of thought (especially MC's tend to do that in these sort of games lol). An example of this would be between Milibelle and the MC, when talking about the barn, having the MC tell a little more of how it got worse taking care of the farm, or/and have Milibelle tell more about her odd homefeeling towards barns, when she has never seen one before. Other times, I find it could be solved, by putting in some small extra words that makes the characters answer to each others statement more directly (the usual, "hmm", "yes", "no" and so on...). Example would be Tabitha asking if the MC was spying, and the MC would answer "No, I was eating...".
Or you could leave it as it is; I guess the faster pacing does make it feel like you get to the good stuff faster anyways lol.
-All in all the characters feel unique to each other, their motivations seems transparent, and their behaviors make sense (for the most part). Personally I find the early stages of Tabitha's mood to be swinging perhaps a tad much, even when taking into consideration her animal part being a cat (which are notorious for that kind of stuff). Also later in the story, I found her attitude go from hostile, to still hostile, but with wholesome moments (When you buy her the dress), to all happy and loveable. As of my personal opinion, it would make more sense if her still hostile behavior were just a bit more neutral (like she can still consider him a pervert and all, but to be saying he would enjoy molesting her is perhaps a bit much?). Also, while up to this point, there has been shown some sense of struggle from her side with her emotions, I found myself expecting her to struggle with them quite a bit more in the actual moment where she discovers his boner (in the handjob scene), before she would eventually give in and do it. I know she does start questioning it, while giving the handjob, but logically you would think she would have a harder time initiating it, rather than continue doing it?
Honestly I feel like I have given Tabitha a lot of crap, but she is the only one of the girls that I found there to be some weird inconsitencies with. The rest of the girls' behavior all feel natural, and their interactions with each other is executed properly too (The last part can also be said about Tabitha btw). Especially Ariana's character I find amazing and just downright hilarious. Sadly I can't say that I am particularly into her monster part...
Lastly the Mc... Let's just deal with the elephant in the room that is his eyes lol. I know from having read the comment section that you have already gotten enough shit for it, but I would find it unprofessional of me not to point it out in any case. What makes them stand out to me is when you get scenes where his eyes can be directly compared to other characters'. In those scenes, it becomes fairly weird for me to look at as he doesn't share eye-width with the rest of the more humanoid girls (refer to the picture below (Ariana excluded in this case)).
I also find it making it a bit hard to read the emotions of the MC, although that is usually the case for MC characters in general lol.
(P.s. I now realise aCaine basically have said the same thing in the post below, while comparing the eyes of the son and dad, with the mom lol: )
I don't find there being much to comment regarding his story. It serves its purpose, without being what the game is about, so yea. Somehow I am having a tough time feeling as bad for the MC as one probably should. Perhaps I am just an insensitive asshole, or perhaps it is again the eyes that doesn't do a good job at showing emotions, thus making it hard to sympathize with the MC. I can't really tell...
-In terms of gameplay, the game is very linear as you are already very aware off. My question for you, is whether you want to keep it that way, or whether you're looking for ways to diversify it a bit? Perhaps there could be some kind of stat system, to make it more RPG-like, or you could implement options for a stealth dating kind of game, where you want to have a good date with, them, but still needs to keep it lowkey not to get the F.U.C.C's attention. A 3rd option could be to have there be risky gambling games and/or choices for how to gain money for the farm. Like I said though, I am not entirely sure of your direction with it, so here was some ideas, if you were to not keep it linear.
Speaking of linearity, I have also seen that you have been debating over the game being a VN vs a sandbox in the comments. While I definitely can see where you are coming from with the linearity of the story, I do have to agree with the other players that this is a sandbox in the strict sense. However, looking at games like Lesson in Love and Harem Hotel, I see they get away with having VN included in their tags as well as sandbox, so I can't see why you shouldn't.
-Next up, I got some small logic inconsistencies, some small suggestions, and perhaps some bugs, that I will accomodate with some pictures. For the future though, I would definitely advice you to make a discord server, for people to come and leave bug reports and suggestions in. From my experience, that is definitely the most efficient way of doing it.
1. Starting out with the hints of what to buy (see image below), an idiot like me, who doesn't know what a Kimono is, might look at this hint and be confused whether the white sentence is ment for the product(s) above or beneath it. This should be an easy fix, by just chaging the space between new lines, so that the white line, can get closer to the upper one, or just have the next product be 2 lines beneath, instead of 1.
Secondly, you might want to rephrase this hint ever so slightly, as having it end on that part, makes it sound as if I should keep looking for something better suited for Tabitha. My suggestion: "While Tabitha doesn't have that sunny of a personality, this would fit her perfectly."
2. I have noticed that the game tends to have you wait one day, before new stuff triggers. An example of this is when you buy the dress and stockings for Tabitha. Once you give it to her (as in you trigger the scene where you give it to her), you still need to have it become the next day, before she starts wearing the dress, when you talk to her. The same day, she will still just show up as seen in the picture below. This is but one of many examples, which makes me curious, just how hardcoded into the game, this procedure is. As far as I can tell, whenever I have triggered a cutscene, I always need to wait for a new day, to trigger a new one. While it can be a bit whatever in terms of the events triggering, it feels weird to not see our Tabitha wearing it when the cutscene of her putting it on has played out
.
3. In some of the dialogue, you have part of the sentences not showing immediatly, and only once I move forward does it become visible. Sometimes it feels natural, other times I find it looking kind of weird (such as the examples down below):
(In the last one here, she just says "Is it Tuna" first. I couldn't find it using the gallery option, when I later wanted to check again.)4. I somehow got this line of dialogue (left pic), while she is usually only wearing her bra (right pic). I assume with "top", you only mean the green shirt, and not her upper body being fully naked right?
5. Nice "rat" you got there lol. (I assume that is just you making use of what you got available, but it's still hilarious
)
6. At the time this happened, Serena haven't been doing any jobs that I am aware of. Does she have anything but spare time lol?
7. Serena is in this case still not unlocked, but her hints are still there, and she has already been welcomed by everyone. Shouldn't her portrait be visible and all then?
8. (I won't show this picture, as it is part of the H-scenes of the game) The porn tape "Sabrina Sparklez in puppy love" probably features the most lazy ass bottom of a threesome that I have ever seen
. When Sabrina have Minnie and Maisie lying on top of her, they apparently do all the work, while Sabrina doesn't even move her tongue to lick lol.9. Perhaps have the MC ask if Milibelle is ok? From the dialogue and this view, it doesn't look like he gives much of a fuck lol.
10. (Once again not posting the image here) Looking at the daydream featuring only Serena. Is she suppost to not have a pussy at all, or what's going on here? I for one, can't see it, and I refuse to believe it is the grass that covers it.
11. All the characters look so sad. I am aware that the photos change according to how far you are with them (and since we are in 0.2, that indeed ain't very far), also we are on a farm that's pretty damn poor. None of the less the girls are at least feeling decently comfortable here. Couldn't they smile just a little
?
-Lastly, here are some more credits where it's due.
The daydream events are a great addition, considering that a farmer (or anyone working) probably would be daydreaming about stuff like that while working. Well done/thought out!
Bathroom peeks, while probably not original, is a nice touch. I imagine/hope they turn into more stuff, when the MC gets a little closer with the girls
I'm intrigued by the idea of having your income actually be in minus per day, so that you have to work for it everyday. Really emphasizes the idea of the Mc being really poor. Also I'm curious as to whether you ever intend on having the MC manage to actually make the income become positive. I don't mind either case, though I must say; it is somewhat of a bold mechanic to do, considering that it is a bit of a dull thing, making sure the MC have worked everyday. With how linear the game has been so far, it hasn't been an issue though, as there wasn't much else to do, other than Work--> interact with a character for the day --> go to bed, so I guess it all cancels out in the end.
With how poor the farm is, so far, I find it really fitting that the whole UI is basically a bunch of wooden planks with letters, pictures and/or incons on them. Once again it encompasses the idea of the farmer being poor. If you aren't thinking of it already, might I suggest that it could get updated to look more prestige, once/if the farmer ever gets richer?
Right that was it, and holy shit did I end up writing a bunch... Once again, I hope this feedback isn't discouraging you from the game, rather that it gives you some food for thought and ideas to consider.
Good morning/day/evening/night good sir and happy working spirit!
Thank you A_dude_with_a_dick! I'm going to start by saying how much I appreciate you playing the whole way through the game. So far the most anxiety driving part of this process is the dead silence from players. Are they just giving up? Are they finishing the game and demanding more ASAP? It's hard to tell and responses like this help a lot.Hi Arcaos, hope everything is coming development of Greener Pastures! I got some critism and suggestions for you to consider as well as some compliments here and there - That is, if you're still motivated to continue this project, despite what you previously have stated here: https://f95zone.to/threads/im-arcaos-and-im-a-hack.80259/
Also, As far as I can tell, you seem to be a new dev, making his (or her) first game, and I would like nothing else but for you to have a good experience with it
-I wanna begin with the script as what took me by surprise, the most, is how well its grammar is for a new game. In many new projects I have come across, the English have varied from being okay, to having several eye-piercing mistakes by every 5th line. Granted, I did find some punctuation errors and a few typo's here and there, but all in all, it was a breath of fresh air to not have a mistake, or an obnoxious formulation in every single conversation.
That said, somehow I couldn't help but get the feeling that there are some lines missing in between quite a bit of the dialogue? Not in the grammatical sense, or even context wise; the sentences do connect to each other, but somehow the pacing feels REALLY fast to me. An example of this would just be the introduction of Tabitha. I was thinking that Tabitha perhaps would be a bit more hesitant to come into the house, even from having listened to the MC, considering how cautious she was in the beginning in general. I was also missing a comment from Tabitha on the F.U.C.C. having rummaged through the MC's parents bedroom. In general I find that these "holes" could be solved, by adding in a few extra lines here and there, have characters go a little bit further along their own train of thought (especially MC's tend to do that in these sort of games lol). An example of this would be between Milibelle and the MC, when talking about the barn, having the MC tell a little more of how it got worse taking care of the farm, or/and have Milibelle tell more about her odd homefeeling towards barns, when she has never seen one before. Other times, I find it could be solved, by putting in some small extra words that makes the characters answer to each others statement more directly (the usual, "hmm", "yes", "no" and so on...). Example would be Tabitha asking if the MC was spying, and the MC would answer "No, I was eating...".
Or you could leave it as it is; I guess the faster pacing does make it feel like you get to the good stuff faster anyways lol.
-All in all the characters feel unique to each other, their motivations seems transparent, and their behaviors make sense (for the most part). Personally I find the early stages of Tabitha's mood to be swinging perhaps a tad much, even when taking into consideration her animal part being a cat (which are notorious for that kind of stuff). Also later in the story, I found her attitude go from hostile, to still hostile, but with wholesome moments (When you buy her the dress), to all happy and loveable. As of my personal opinion, it would make more sense if her still hostile behavior were just a bit more neutral (like she can still consider him a pervert and all, but to be saying he would enjoy molesting her is perhaps a bit much?). Also, while up to this point, there has been shown some sense of struggle from her side with her emotions, I found myself expecting her to struggle with them quite a bit more in the actual moment where she discovers his boner (in the handjob scene), before she would eventually give in and do it. I know she does start questioning it, while giving the handjob, but logically you would think she would have a harder time initiating it, rather than continue doing it?
Honestly I feel like I have given Tabitha a lot of crap, but she is the only one of the girls that I found there to be some weird inconsitencies with. The rest of the girls' behavior all feel natural, and their interactions with each other is executed properly too (The last part can also be said about Tabitha btw). Especially Ariana's character I find amazing and just downright hilarious. Sadly I can't say that I am particularly into her monster part...
Lastly the Mc... Let's just deal with the elephant in the room that is his eyes lol. I know from having read the comment section that you have already gotten enough shit for it, but I would find it unprofessional of me not to point it out in any case. What makes them stand out to me is when you get scenes where his eyes can be directly compared to other characters'. In those scenes, it becomes fairly weird for me to look at as he doesn't share eye-width with the rest of the more humanoid girls (refer to the picture below (Ariana excluded in this case)). View attachment 1232565
I also find it making it a bit hard to read the emotions of the MC, although that is usually the case for MC characters in general lol.
(P.s. I now realise aCaine basically have said the same thing in the post below, while comparing the eyes of the son and dad, with the mom lol: )
I don't find there being much to comment regarding his story. It serves its purpose, without being what the game is about, so yea. Somehow I am having a tough time feeling as bad for the MC as one probably should. Perhaps I am just an insensitive asshole, or perhaps it is again the eyes that doesn't do a good job at showing emotions, thus making it hard to sympathize with the MC. I can't really tell...
-In terms of gameplay, the game is very linear as you are already very aware off. My question for you, is whether you want to keep it that way, or whether you're looking for ways to diversify it a bit? Perhaps there could be some kind of stat system, to make it more RPG-like, or you could implement options for a stealth dating kind of game, where you want to have a good date with, them, but still needs to keep it lowkey not to get the F.U.C.C's attention. A 3rd option could be to have there be risky gambling games and/or choices for how to gain money for the farm. Like I said though, I am not entirely sure of your direction with it, so here was some ideas, if you were to not keep it linear.
Speaking of linearity, I have also seen that you have been debating over the game being a VN vs a sandbox in the comments. While I definitely can see where you are coming from with the linearity of the story, I do have to agree with the other players that this is a sandbox in the strict sense. However, looking at games like Lesson in Love and Harem Hotel, I see they get away with having VN included in their tags as well as sandbox, so I can't see why you shouldn't.
-Next up, I got some small logic inconsistencies, some small suggestions, and perhaps some bugs, that I will accomodate with some pictures. For the future though, I would definitely advice you to make a discord server, for people to come and leave bug reports and suggestions in. From my experience, that is definitely the most efficient way of doing it.
1. Starting out with the hints of what to buy (see image below), an idiot like me, who doesn't know what a Kimono is, might look at this hint and be confused whether the white sentence is ment for the product(s) above or beneath it. This should be an easy fix, by just chaging the space between new lines, so that the white line, can get closer to the upper one, or just have the next product be 2 lines beneath, instead of 1.
View attachment 1232826
Secondly, you might want to rephrase this hint ever so slightly, as having it end on that part, makes it sound as if I should keep looking for something better suited for Tabitha. My suggestion: "While Tabitha doesn't have that sunny of a personality, this would fit her perfectly."
2. I have noticed that the game tends to have you wait one day, before new stuff triggers. An example of this is when you buy the dress and stockings for Tabitha. Once you give it to her (as in you trigger the scene where you give it to her), you still need to have it become the next day, before she starts wearing the dress, when you talk to her. The same day, she will still just show up as seen in the picture below. This is but one of many examples, which makes me curious, just how hardcoded into the game, this procedure is. As far as I can tell, whenever I have triggered a cutscene, I always need to wait for a new day, to trigger a new one. While it can be a bit whatever in terms of the events triggering, it feels weird to not see our Tabitha wearing it when the cutscene of her putting it on has played out
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3. In some of the dialogue, you have part of the sentences not showing immediatly, and only once I move forward does it become visible. Sometimes it feels natural, other times I find it looking kind of weird (such as the examples down below):
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View attachment 1232903 (In the last one here, she just says "Is it Tuna" first. I couldn't find it using the gallery option, when I later wanted to check again.)
4. I somehow got this line of dialogue (left pic), while she is usually only wearing her bra (right pic). I assume with "top", you only mean the green shirt, and not her upper body being fully naked right?
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5. Nice "rat" you got there lol. (I assume that is just you making use of what you got available, but it's still hilarious
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6. At the time this happened, Serena haven't been doing any jobs that I am aware of. Does she have anything but spare time lol?
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7. Serena is in this case still not unlocked, but her hints are still there, and she has already been welcomed by everyone. Shouldn't her portrait be visible and all then?
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8. (I won't show this picture, as it is part of the H-scenes of the game) The porn tape "Sabrina Sparklez in puppy love" probably features the most lazy ass bottom of a threesome that I have ever seen
9. Perhaps have the MC ask if Milibelle is ok? From the dialogue and this view, it doesn't look like he gives much of a fuck lol.
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10. (Once again not posting the image here) Looking at the daydream featuring only Serena. Is she suppost to not have a pussy at all, or what's going on here? I for one, can't see it, and I refuse to believe it is the grass that covers it.
11. All the characters look so sad. I am aware that the photos change according to how far you are with them (and since we are in 0.2, that indeed ain't very far), also we are on a farm that's pretty damn poor. None of the less the girls are at least feeling decently comfortable here. Couldn't they smile just a little
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-Lastly, here are some more credits where it's due.
The daydream events are a great addition, considering that a farmer (or anyone working) probably would be daydreaming about stuff like that while working. Well done/thought out!
Bathroom peeks, while probably not original, is a nice touch. I imagine/hope they turn into more stuff, when the MC gets a little closer with the girls
I'm intrigued by the idea of having your income actually be in minus per day, so that you have to work for it everyday. Really emphasizes the idea of the Mc being really poor. Also I'm curious as to whether you ever intend on having the MC manage to actually make the income become positive. I don't mind either case, though I must say; it is somewhat of a bold mechanic to do, considering that it is a bit of a dull thing, making sure the MC have worked everyday. With how linear the game has been so far, it hasn't been an issue though, as there wasn't much else to do, other than Work--> interact with a character for the day --> go to bed, so I guess it all cancels out in the end.
With how poor the farm is, so far, I find it really fitting that the whole UI is basically a bunch of wooden planks with letters, pictures and/or incons on them. Once again it encompasses the idea of the farmer being poor. If you aren't thinking of it already, might I suggest that it could get updated to look more prestige, once/if the farmer ever gets richer?
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Right that was it, and holy shit did I end up writing a bunch... Once again, I hope this feedback isn't discouraging you from the game, rather that it gives you some food for thought and ideas to consider.
Good morning/day/evening/night good sir and happy working spirit!
Next I'm going to provide the cop-out that I'm sure a lot of devs use: the "Yes, I saw that issue in development, it will be improved next release." It's not to throw out your feedback away by any means, but as I read your post I'm mostly nodding along about things I'm very aware of. Every bit of hair clipping, strange posing, or the MC looking like an inbred homunculus, trust me I've seen it and cringe as I let a mediocre render through to maintain update pacing.
The element of this project I was least prepared for was the marketing/advertising of the game itself (which is saying a lot because as I said before, I'm a hack). I did not consider how important things like tags, update frequency, cross-media promotion, etc were to the game's success. When I played other games, I often criticized the use of what I'd call "freebie characters" to add extra porn scenes earlier because they often felt cheap and contrived. But now that I develop, I see why these early porn scenes are so important (and that's how Sabrina Sparklez was born....) Even now, I feel like the lack of the highly coveted "vaginal sex" tag is turning off potential players because there's not enough porn in the porn game yet (coming in v0.3, releasing to patrons 2021-06-10 if all goes well...).
I say some of that to address your point about pacing, too. On one hand I want to tell a somewhat coherent story, on the other I'm being incentivized to go go go to the sex scenes so I can better broadcast my game and provide the content players come to a porn game site for. That also said, part of what I'm doing in the days leading up to v0.3's publishing is cleaning the writing of earlier scenes. More writing where it fits, without falling on my person porn game pet peeve of "Elder Scrolls Face" characters talking the story at each other.
Regarding gameplay, I would be more likely to cut the game down into a visual novel than jump into stat systems. The type of writing I like to do is 2+ characters with a reason to bounce off each other in interesting ways. My writing process is always: Figure out the plot that needs to be covered > determine what characters would be most interesting/conflicting as they discuss it > make them bicker. I settled on this sandbox structure because it was the most
The last thing I'll talk about is Tabitha. The plan with Tabitha is something that might be so subtle that it could literally only be my head-canon. Basically the words she says and the behavior of her ears will tell different things. Her ears will perk up with affection while she calls the MC a fuck-face. The intent was she's trying to hold back her affection and the dam sorta bursts as when she finally trusts the MC. This was very likely me trying to be too fancy, communicating it too poorly, and something was lost in the translation. If I'm going to be critical of my writing style for a minute, I think I like to put too many inside jokes/references that only make sense to me because I wrote them for myself.
I'm glad you're seeing the cat-like behavior in her, and if that's all the player gets from it, then maybe that's enough. The other part of this is that each girl has traits that will feed into their respective sex scenes later on. Ariana is probably the least subtle example of this. All I'll say further is Tabitha still kinda being an unpredictable brat is a feature and not a bug....
Thank you again for your detailed feedback. It has made my day.
PS: We don't talk about the rat. There are no rats here. Terri killed them all.
My pleasure. It's always enjoyable to give feedback to people who wants it:
I think some people wait commenting upon stuff in the early stages, because like you said so yourself, you are already aware of a bunch of the stuff that I mentioned. That, and they are probably also waiting for a little more content. By all means, this is a 0.2 - To some players, that early of a version can almost be considered a beta, which not everyone enjoys going through. At least that would be my assumption...
In any case though, I'm looking forward to version 0.3. Alas I'm a simple peasant without money, so I'll have to wait a bit further than the patreon daddy's haha.
PS: I see Terri would be good at doing the genocide route in undertale
I think some people wait commenting upon stuff in the early stages, because like you said so yourself, you are already aware of a bunch of the stuff that I mentioned. That, and they are probably also waiting for a little more content. By all means, this is a 0.2 - To some players, that early of a version can almost be considered a beta, which not everyone enjoys going through. At least that would be my assumption...
Indeed, I also find myself investing time into giving this feedback, because the game show's promises towards some of my kinks/fetishes. Otherwise I too am usually on the band wagon of "vaginal sex" myself. I guess there's nothing else to say than you got your work cut out for you. Chop chop my friend!
Sound procedure. Makes me want to ask, if you ever plan on having different paths to some of the plotholes of the story? Not necessarily have them branch out to be impacting the rest of the story, but just alternative methods of solving a few conflicts of the story here and there - You know, to spice up the linearity a bit.
Right, The ear movement has been noticeable, albeit moreso when they accompanied her attitude, rather than when they went against it. Honestly I am not sure, what to suggest that would help on the latter...
I wouldn't say the attempt failed, rather that it just contain some flaws that needs some refinement, then it would be good to go really. Also, I can tell you the whole "putting many inside jokes" into the script is a very common thing with devs lol. Don't sweat over it, but do they make sure they don't break the flow of the dialogue should one be as unfortunate as to not catch on to the reference lol.
Right, in general you have achieved having girls match the behavior of their respective animal part. Regarding Tabitha being unpredictable. I agree up to some point; Ironically I find there needing to be some predictability in how unpredictable a character is. What I mean by that is, I don't need to know what the character does in advance, but I like to be left with the feeling of "Of course he/she would do that" after the action. For the record, you have managed to hit this with Tabitha for the most part (e.g. the bite on the couch), just that there were other places, mostly in the beginning of the game, where I still found it missing a little.
In any case though, I'm looking forward to version 0.3. Alas I'm a simple peasant without money, so I'll have to wait a bit further than the patreon daddy's haha.
PS: I see Terri would be good at doing the genocide route in undertale
I’m going to stick to replying to your question question about choice and story structure since the others I’m again mostly nodding along to. In short, no. The story is very linear to rein in scope creep that often affects these projects. There will be 12 releases and that’s enough to defeat the bad guys, let everyone fall in love, and play out each girl’s mini-arc.
My thesis for the game was stated in the intro: this is a simple world and story that I’m trying really hard not to over complicate. Once I had the plot outline and a grip of development, side indulgences like daydreaming or bathroom peeking were considered feasible enough to add. The nice part of this model is that it can always be added to after the fact. If the game is popular enough, it’s really easy to add mini-sodes that happened “some time” between the end of the girl’s corruption and the game ending. Things like “the girls have a competition for who can hide a buttplug longest” or “the girls take an online hypnotism class.” Wacky scenes for lewd fun that work as long as you have the context for each girl’s “deal.” I have a notes file of these various ideas that didn’t make sense as progression. And if the game isn’t popular, the story can be concluded and no one feels cheated.
That’s all I’ll say on that before I risk spoiling. Thanks again for the feedback!
Greener Pastures v0.3 has been released to $5+ patrons and will be published here in two weeks.
No new girls this time, just letting the tensions build as all current cast gets more lewd. And yes, three of the girls will finally be getting it in!
The wacky hijinks will continue as well. Lots of character interactions and cutes outfits.
The $10 patrons also got a very lewd scene that will premier much later in the game:
Also I have gotten an Android build running, so that will premier with the v0.3 release as well! Stay tuned!
No new girls this time, just letting the tensions build as all current cast gets more lewd. And yes, three of the girls will finally be getting it in!
The wacky hijinks will continue as well. Lots of character interactions and cutes outfits.
The $10 patrons also got a very lewd scene that will premier much later in the game:
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Also I have gotten an Android build running, so that will premier with the v0.3 release as well! Stay tuned!