VN Ren'Py Completed Haley's Story [v1.1 Pre-Patched] [Viitgames]

[Crell]

Damn, I say again Damn! This game. Its one of those excellent written ones that not only gives you a hard on every once in awhile but actually gets you emotionally involved in it like a very exciting book. This deserves 5 stars for sure. Excellent work on the part of the Developers

The story and animations are both great. But there's definitely things I don't like about it. My biggest gripe is that the writer can't detach the characters from his own view. Way too often they'll just say something totally random. Like in this update before they go to bed. Haley mentions something being new to him but not to her. I'm sure it makes sense in the writer's mind, because he knows exactly what this is about. But for the average reader, this is pure gibberish.

Or after the sex scene, when she starts asking "So, you wanna know?" and he immediately knows what she's talking about. I know this kind of closeness makes sense in your head when you write those stories. It happens to me as well. But this is not something you want to release.

 

[Segnbora]

I mean, there's no way Mom is having sex with Breaking Bad, so she's gonna get her game. Possibly with Andi.

 

[Segnbora]

Way too often they'll just say something totally random. Like in this update before they go to bed. Haley mentions something about something being new to him but not to her. I'm sure it makes sense in the writer's mind, because he knows exactly what this is about. But for the average reader, this is pure gibberish.

They're twins. Twins finish each others' sentences. Twins always know what the other is thinking.

 

[mikey zhou]

why you guys arguing?
it's multiverse, there could be cheating, sharing, swing, NTR, cucked.
just put them in the episodes.
i just need more and more and more and more and more.

 

[vultron]

The dad is my new favorite character. lmao

 

[proximusArka]

I'm gonna wait till next update !! Then see how all of this new drama pans out!!

 

[qyx455]

I hope we get to beat the fuck out of that teacher in the next update or even worse

... <see my earlier comment regarding an air nailer and a wooden desk> ...

 

[Segnbora]

It's gonna lead to a super-hot threesome in which she deploys "Daddy" about every fifteen seconds.

(It's not, but I'm already enjoying the forum rage.)

 

[TNT3]

thank you so much for this its a great story beautiful graphics and ..........well thanks

 

[zh]

Oh god...just the mention of the guys Haley fucked in the past is enough for some people here to call it NTR and complain about it ? WTF... Well I have a revelation for those guys : womens are not ALWAYS virgins when you want to date them

I like this update ! The final animation was awesome ! Well... it seems a certain teacher will lose his job very soon haha

 

[Segnbora]

Exactly. Haley's not a virgin. Emotional reactions to her not being one are...weird.

 

[Exanadae]

Like in this update before they go to bed. Haley mentions something being new to him but not to her. I'm sure it makes sense in the writer's mind, because he knows exactly what this is about. But for the average reader, this is pure gibberish.

Narratively, the function of this kind of foreshadowing is to lend more emotional weight to a reveal. If a character has a secret, having them hint in advance that there's something preying on their mind that they want to say but for some reason can't creates a tension in the story that is then resolved when the secret comes out. It also makes the reveal feel more credible by not having it come entirely out of nowhere.

In this case, it appears that the foreshadowing is paid off in the very next scene, when Haley tells the MC that, unlike him, her sneaking into his room for sex is something she's fantasized about in graphic detail for years. Or it could be a reference to something else we don't know yet, but that seems less likely.

Or after the sex scene, when she starts asking "So, you wanna know?" and he immediately knows what she's talking about.

I had to look this up because I remembered that scene differently. The closest post-coital dialog I can find is the opposite:

    Haley: "So, are you going to ask me?"
    Player: "Ask you what?"
    Haley: "How many?"
    Haley: "How many men I had?"

 

[Deleted member 15555]

I dont give a fuck about guys she did fuck before falling for the mc, as long also i dont have to see that shit, im all about the future and present so long as is only her past i dont see the problem here.

 

[Segnbora]

Again, these are twins. They know what each other are thinking without ever saying it out loud. They should have a shorthand.

 

[tidus]

I could have done without the information that Haley likes old man dick but in no way was that ntr. What really is fuck up is Haley not wearing a seat belt during the whole ride.

 

[alpharenji]

... <see my earlier comment regarding an air nailer and a wooden desk> ...

i like where your mind is going

 

[Segnbora]

I could have done without the information that Haley likes old man dick but in no way was that ntr. What really is fuck up is Haley not wearing a seat belt during the whole ride.

Right? I was like "put on a fucking seat belt, I want to bang the shit out of you later and I can't if you're dead."

 

[Repuci]

Right? I was like "put on a fucking seat belt, I want to bang the shit out of you later and I can't if you're dead."

I'm sure that it won't stop some of us

 

[Segnbora]

Necrobraid.

 

[Deleted member 15555]

Just to clarify, you cant be ntr or cucked unless it happens in the present where u control the mc, we did not control the mc back then as is show in the past, so guys keep off the ntr shit, this is clearly not.

Now is there a choice to not see that?