4.00 star(s) 35 Votes

bamachine

Well-Known Member
Nov 17, 2020
1,402
1,910
So far, pretty good game and story. Most of the English is well written but some odd things like saying good night as a greeting before eating supper together, good night is not a salutation, it is something said in departure. Good evening would work better in those cases.
 

Kuranai

The Fool
Donor
Game Developer
May 28, 2020
501
3,826
So far, pretty good game and story. Most of the English is well written but some odd things like saying good night as a greeting before eating supper together, good night is not a salutation, it is something said in departure. Good evening would work better in those cases.
Gonna make a mental note of this, thanks.
 
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Cokebaths

Active Member
May 30, 2020
557
794
The game has potential but I have a few criticisms that I hope the dev would take into account.

1. The sex scenes are kind of boring, there's not much build up and it's always over fast. There's not much satisfaction from it

2. Kinda related to number 1, the romance is missing emotions, not even just the romance but the friendships as well. Every interaction feels stiff. It makes it hard to believe that the characters have or are building some sort of bond with each other

3. The structure of scenes is a bit weird. We see MC doing one activity, he sleeps. We see him do another activity, he sleeps. Very repetitive

I really enjoy games that focus on story more than sex but can build up to sex to the point where it feels like a real connect, so I hope nobody has an issue with me giving critiques. Anyways, good luck dev. I like the look of the LI's so far and the setup of the plot sounds very interesting.
 

bamachine

Well-Known Member
Nov 17, 2020
1,402
1,910
Gonna make a mental note of this, thanks.
Yes, good night is what you say to someone either right before you go to bed or right before they go to bed or both. When you are greeting someone after dark, usually say good evening/hello/how are you this fine evening, etc.

Also, seems like we are calling our boss by his name a little too often, imo. We call his son, sir or boss mostly but seem to be overly familiar with our actual boss.
 
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Kuranai

The Fool
Donor
Game Developer
May 28, 2020
501
3,826
Yes, good night is what you say to someone either right before you go to bed or right before they go to bed or both. When you are greeting someone after dark, usually say good evening/hello/how are you this fine evening, etc.

Also, seems like we are calling our boss by his name a little too often, imo. We call his son, sir or boss mostly but seem to be overly familiar with our actual boss.
The way he adress him is intentional, Vieira treats him like that too, but I will delve on his motives later in the game.
 
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Sep 3, 2020
4,401
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The way he adress him is intentional, Vieira treats him like that too, but I will delve on his motives later in the game.
oh my god yes I knew something was wrong 'but didn't know what it was until he pointed it outs there is no emotion

I am not just talking about sex scenes

Alice supposed to be my girlfriend and we're supposed to be building a Bond but there is no emotion between us and no affection

I mean I have a reading disability and I'm not very good at explaining myself

but I mean it would be cool if you could add little touches
like


Alice wanting to sit closer to me at breakfast and dinner

or Alice greeting me with a warm smile or hug instead of the same hand wave at breakfast

it would have been cool if you showed Alice getting jealous when her sister hug me

I'm a story guy and I don't really care about the sex but we don't really act like an affectionate couple

not to mention. she's always gone from the house and we barely spend any time together

screenshot0001.png
 
Dec 8, 2021
283
268
oh my god yes I knew something was wrong 'but didn't know what it was until he pointed it outs there is no emotion

I am not just talking about sex scenes

Alice supposed to be my girlfriend and we're supposed to be building a Bond but there is no emotion between us and no affection

I mean I have a reading disability and I'm not very good at explaining myself

but I mean it would be cool if you could add little touches
like


Alice wanting to sit closer to me at breakfast and dinner

or Alice greeting me with a warm smile or hug instead of the same hand wave at breakfast

it would have been cool if you showed Alice getting jealous when her sister hug me

I'm a story guy and I don't really care about the sex but we don't really act like an affectionate couple

not to mention. she's always gone from the house and we barely spend any time together

View attachment 1618218
I agree with you man, that's sad, very shallow, unfortunate
 
Sep 3, 2020
4,401
30,358
The game has potential but I have a few criticisms that I hope the dev would take into account.

1. The sex scenes are kind of boring, there's not much build up and it's always over fast. There's not much satisfaction from it

2. Kinda related to number 1, the romance is missing emotions, not even just the romance but the friendships as well. Every interaction feels stiff. It makes it hard to believe that the characters have or are building some sort of bond with each other

3. The structure of scenes is a bit weird. We see MC doing one activity, he sleeps. We see him do another activity, he sleeps. Very repetitive

I really enjoy games that focus on story more than sex but can build up to sex to the point where it feels like a real connect, so I hope nobody has an issue with me giving critiques. Anyways, good luck dev. I like the look of the LI's so far and the setup of the plot sounds very interesting.
exactly does mc have a medical condition where he has to sleep every minute

instead of sleeping he should spend time with his girlfriend because so far he only sees his girlfriend twice a day in every update

how are they supposed to build a believable Bond when they barely spend any time together
 

Kuranai

The Fool
Donor
Game Developer
May 28, 2020
501
3,826
oh my god yes I knew something was wrong 'but didn't know what it was until he pointed it outs there is no emotion

I am not just talking about sex scenes

Alice supposed to be my girlfriend and we're supposed to be building a Bond but there is no emotion between us and no affection

I mean I have a reading disability and I'm not very good at explaining myself

but I mean it would be cool if you could add little touches
like


Alice wanting to sit closer to me at breakfast and dinner

or Alice greeting me with a warm smile or hug instead of the same hand wave at breakfast

it would have been cool if you showed Alice getting jealous when her sister hug me

I'm a story guy and I don't really care about the sex but we don't really act like an affectionate couple

not to mention. she's always gone from the house and we barely spend any time together

View attachment 1618218
First, thank you for the feedback, I'm in no way under the illusion of being a great storyteller but I will try to improve on that aspect, as I'm a not a very emotional person myself.
I tend to reserve those more touch feely moments to when they are alone, else it would be too obvious to Vieira what's happening between the actors.

Jealously would make sense if they were not aware that both are in a relationship with the mc.
 
Last edited:
Dec 8, 2021
283
268
First, thank you for the feedback, I'm in no way under the illusion of being a great storyteller but I will try to improve on that aspect, as I'm a not a very emotional person myself.
I tend to reserve those more touch feely moments to when they are alone, else it would be too obvious to Vieira what's happening between the actors.

Jealously would make sense if they were not aware that both are in a relationship with the mc.
Thank you so much for the answer bro, just do your best, the most important thing you always do, which is to gladly accept constructive criticism and answer us, so thanks for being an excellent developer, a good developer is not just the one who makes a good game, but mostly, most importantly, be a humble-hearted and respectful person, and that bro, that you are
 
Sep 3, 2020
4,401
30,358
First, thank you for the feedback, I'm in no way under the illusion of being a great storyteller but I will try to improve on that aspect, as I'm a not a very emotional person myself.
I tend to reserve those more touch feely moments to when they are alone, else it would be too obvious to Vieira what's happening between the actors.

Jealously would make sense if they were not aware that both are in a relationship with the mc.
oh my God thank you so much for responding to my comment it means a lot I know that they have to keep their relationship a secret but her dad is not around all the time

and if they really love each other

find a way to show affection in secret like maybe a Look hair and they're smile or hand-holding

or I don't know pull her into a closet point is people in love find a way

how can they build a relationship if they don't show any affection at all



you're right maybe she wouldn't get Jealous by a hug but maybe when it's her turn to hug him she does something extra I kiss him on the cheek

and instead of sleeping all the time he could say he's going out for groceries she could say she's going out to the library and they can meet in secret

they can spend time together without people finding out

I know it's dangerous but if they love each other
they can't be too afraid to take risk

or the relationship will go nowhere



oh and I'm not in any relationship with any other character in the game I love monogamy and I hate to cheat

it's Alice all the way for me
:love:
 
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coretex

Active Member
Jun 15, 2017
604
517
Maybe the subtly of everything (at least it seems almost everything) is a little too subtle, thus giving the impressions people are posting. For me.. ok yea.. maybe the text is a little dry here and there, (and the good night thing i also caught, but I gave a pass cause i understood the intent), but I got a lot of the subtlety between at least the sisters and the MC, the sort of unspoken acknowledgement that both sisters are into the MC, (hence why so far no jealousy), and also the subtle desire to not be so open about whats going on so the father doesn't get on MC for it.. (but i think he knows anyway.. and doesnt care as long as hes safe and the girls are well treated).
I guess I'm just good at reading in between the lines at times.
Little upgrades to the text here and there I think will be fine, don't think its as drastic.

The "going to bed thing" all the time.. also take that as we are only getting the "highlights" of the day or the "necessary" interactions of the day.. we don't see all the mundane things that happen in between the good scenes.
 

Cokebaths

Active Member
May 30, 2020
557
794
Maybe the subtly of everything (at least it seems almost everything) is a little too subtle, thus giving the impressions people are posting. For me.. ok yea.. maybe the text is a little dry here and there, (and the good night thing i also caught, but I gave a pass cause i understood the intent), but I got a lot of the subtlety between at least the sisters and the MC, the sort of unspoken acknowledgement that both sisters are into the MC, (hence why so far no jealousy), and also the subtle desire to not be so open about whats going on so the father doesn't get on MC for it.. (but i think he knows anyway.. and doesnt care as long as hes safe and the girls are well treated).
I guess I'm just good at reading in between the lines at times.
Little upgrades to the text here and there I think will be fine, don't think its as drastic.

The "going to bed thing" all the time.. also take that as we are only getting the "highlights" of the day or the "necessary" interactions of the day.. we don't see all the mundane things that happen in between the good scenes.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not attacking the dev but at what point does it go from "reading between the lines" to "subconsciously filling in blanks that the author won't fill themselves" it's a common thing similar to headcannon I think. See, that's another thing I noticed, them being cautious of the father finding out about their growing relationship would be something worth believing if the father showed that he actually cared.

I was waiting for him to warn the MC to stay PG with his daughters, but he didn't mention anything about them except that they exist. So there's no real risk there. As for the seeing highlights of the day part you mentioned, that's what makes good storytelling. Just being able to take things that might seem mundane and giving them a purpose. Even if it's just building relationships because even the "good scenes" are cut short with no payoff or feeling of accomplishment.

Honestly, I might be taking the game more seriously than the Dev themselves is taking it, but the vibe I'm getting from this game is that they want to create something that also focuses on the story, which is why I'm going so deep with my critiques lol. If it's meant to be a fuckfest then I apologize, on that front, the only thing I'd say is the sex scenes could be greatly improved
 
4.00 star(s) 35 Votes