Happy to oblige!
I'm going to find the game lines that feel wrong and suggest a possible fix.
My grammar is far from perfect, so I welcome everyone to correct me If my fix is wrong as well.
Status: In progress...
Line used in the game | Possible Fix |
The rights to Harley Quinn, the rest of the characters.... | HARLEY QUINN is a trademark of DC COMICS owned by WARNER BROS. ENT. |
One hundred and fifty miles east of Almaty | One hundred and fifty miles to the east of Almaty |
The job seeker must find Batman himself | The applicant must find the Batman himself |
In the real world, everyone knows | In the real world everyone knows |
How I can cancel spam? | How can I cancel the spam? |
Tell me how you found this place | Tell me how did you find this place |
Do you know who the main villain | Do you know who's the main villain |
we're going to hang out on Amazon Island | We're going to hang out on the Amazon Island |
I'm the interim Batman! | I'm the Batman's deputy! |
They say that the first Robin is remembered for a lifetime, and all the others you involuntarily compare with him | They say the first Robin is to remember for a lifetime, involuntarily comparing all the others |
Well, not the best start to a career | Well, not the best way to start a career |
You can consider it my superpower | Consider it my superpower |
You know, with all the fuss, I forgot to even ask you your name | You know, in all the fuss I forgot to even ask your name |
And with her help, I'll get to Harley | And with her help I'll get to Harley |
Wants the attention of "Daddy" | Daddy issues / Wants daddy attention |
Uh, far from me giving trying to give lessons, even because for 90%, not having played the game, I cannot say for sure (the context can change a lot), but at a superficial look...
"HARLEY QUINN is a trademark of DC COMICS owned by WARNER BROS. ENT." -> "HARLEY QUINN is a trademark of DC COMICS, owned by WARNER BROS. ENT."
I am missing the context from the game, but in general the phrase about Almaty can also be said in the first form, it is not wrong in absolute - e.g. "Our base is located 150 miles East of Almaty" is less poetic and more military, but perfectly fine.
"Batman" with a big B is like the name of a person, so you don't write "the Batman", you just write "Batman" (there is more than one instance in the table), safe for specific cases.
If you risk an ambiguity, e.g. you want to be sure that people understand it as "find Batman using his own skills", could be written "find himself Batman", or some other form, if you want to put emphasis on the great Batman, then you would probably put an exclamation mark at the end, so the phrases ends with emphasis on "Batman himself !".
It is the same, in the reverse direction, as the extra "a" present sometime in the original text. I think the mother tongue of the game author is Russian - all Slavic languages I know about, with one exception, do not have articles, they have declensions.
It is typical to find people who may even have a pronounciation more "by the book" than many mother tongue, yet make mistakes with "the", "a" - I have some funny story from my life about that.
There are at least two language where they use a form equivalent to "the Batman", i.e. the article in front of what can be consdidered the name of a person, but for one of the two is either used as part of a dialect or meant as a kind of joke through redundant emphasis, while for the other, is more of colloquial way used between friends (but depending on the way and tone, even a potentially rude, or kind of "lower class", way of speaking).
Unless you have a very specific reason to claim otherwise, the comma in the phrase "In the real world, everyone knows" is definetively not wrong. What is more doubtful, is whether that should be "everyone", or rather "everybody" - the generic "In the real world", seems to exclude the reference to a group of specific invididuals, but in some situations, "everyone" is used on purpose in similar phrases.
Since I guess the reference is to e-mail spam and a computer, then the correct verb is "delete", not "cancel". You would "cancel" an operation to reverse it's effects (a.k.a. "undo"), but you "delete" an e-mail, although both verbs derive from Latin.
"Tell me how you found this place" can be pefectly acceptable, if there is no question mark and it is rather an instruction. "Tell me, how did you find this place ?" is correct as a question, but it needs the comma and question mark, because "how did you find this place ?" is the form you use in a question, why the "tell me" is the instruction. The comma bridges between the instruction part, and the question part (and also makes it nicer as tone).
"Do you know who the main villain is ?" would be perfectly fine, and while the form with the elision ("who's" instead of "who is") is often used in daily language, in general the use of "do you know" is not associated with the form with the elision, being somehow more formal - though I believe even many mother tongue would indeed say something like the form you suggested (though in spoken language, they may go straight for "you know who's [...] ?", they will not use the "do you know" form).
'We're going to hang out on Amazon Island' can actually be very correct as informal language, if one writes it as 'we're going to hang out on "Amazon Island"', i.e. if there is a know joke or nickname for Themyscira, with people usually calling it "Amazonz Island".
Apparently, in the first period of the comics of Wonder Woman, they did refer to "Amazon island", or better "Amazon Isles" - though more than to use a nickname, it was probably because they did not have in mind a name (and for ideological reasons of the creator of Wonder Woman).
In any case, "on the Amazon Island", is wrong - it could be "the island of the Amazons" (effectively, in the end it stabilised on being one), or if you want to refer to Wonder Woman/Diana without using her name, you would say "on the Amazon's island" - though refering to someone in that way, through one of their characteristics, it is in general done to show distance from the person.
If you want to simplify, just say "We're going to "hang out" on Themyscira' - it is actually the name of the (invented, there is no island with that name) island.
About "interim" and "deputy", they are two very different concepts. A "deputy" will do the role for which he/she is acting as deputy "ad interim" (from which "interim") every time the person with the role is absent or otherwise impeded, and his/her roles as deputy is meant to be permanent.
However, an interim is someone doing a role "ad interim", for a limited period of time, but does not have any permanent role linked to that position (thus, not being the deputy). Also, again, using "the" is unecessary ("the Batman's deputy"), since you are using the genitive.
About Robin, you may want to go for something like "They say the first Robin is remembered for a lifetime, and you will always involuntarily compare all the others to him" - it is actually the description of a well known +/- subconscious process, and fits in one of the variants of the Batman's story (where the first Robin died).
"Not the best start to a career" is not my preferred form (I would change one word), but it is not unusual, although I believe is used more often in American English, and I would say it's a kind of colloquialism - wouldn't be flagged as wrong.
I am probably missing the context, but "You can consider it my superpower", seems perfectly correct, and depending also on the way it is said (contrary to popular belief, English can also be a very high-context language
) it can be considered nicer than the variant "Consider it my superpower".
About fuss
, you may want to go for something like "You know, with all the fuss, I even forgot to ask you what's your name", where "with all the fuss" will indeed be written "in all the fuss" by some (there is a slight difference in meaning, I would say, but it seems negligeable in this case), and many will just cut the last part to "forgot to ask what's your name". Yes, some would say it could be '[...]I even forgot to ask: "What's your name ?"', but that is really something more for written language than spoken one.
Unless you have some special reason that is not evident, there is no evident reason to change that "And with her help, I'll get to Harley" - that comma is not wrong, it is just a matter of where you want to put emphasis.
About "Daddy", it is 'Has "Daddy" issues", or 'Wants "Daddy"'s attention' (or "attentions", though there is a slight difference). The reason to use the uppercase "D" (and the genitive), is because people that type of approach may even seek a "father" figure in general, but when they get tuned on one person, they stick to that person - it is not a "daddy" they focus on (or even want as couple relationship and/or sexually), it is "Daddy".
Hope it's somehow useful, have fun !