Person_With_Pencil
Newbie
- Oct 2, 2023
- 34
- 77
I actually have started a Thread for a Re-Write of the game, I've completed Chapter One and I believe an Admin has placed a link to it on the games main page (Extra's Sections below the screenshots?).Just did a full playthrough ch1 - 8 and... nobody here has a problem with how schizo the mc (and even the girls) come off? Almost no acknowledgement that sex scenes happened with other girls until a few lines in ch8. It's "I love you, you're the only one for me" with Amelie and then almost the same in the next scene with Kaylee. Stephanie's personality varies between a bratty teen and... someone who still needs a booster seat - it's very off-putting, especially since the domination route hinted at in ch1 vanished completely. And Amelie's courtship is basically "are you ok? you're pretty! can I rub up on you" on repeat for the entire game. She says "no more, we need to be careful" only to forget being careful 5 min later because... we need more plot.
It's gotten better in ch8 with MC at least realizing the crazy shit he's doing + getting a job (21 yr old bumming around at home is weird) and I hope it improves because the writing is pretty grounded and good, it's just that the characters come across as 2d most of the time (no pun intended)
I'm attempting to flesh out the characters more and iron out certain elements as I come across them while also adding some humour, but also make the moments that calls for it hit a little harder.
I agree that the game has a solid foundation to build on, I just think it needs that English first language touch to bring even more out of it.
Give it a go, let me know what you think. I'm certainly open to feedback and I hope you might enjoy the direction I've gone with it so far!