...
Also what would be classified as abusive, would depend on the MC's preferences. There are certainly people who don't mind some harsher treatments. Besides there seem to be enough options to "wimp out"of her "training", so personally I am not afraid of any kind of switch to stronger degrees of domination...
Abuse begins where consent ends. Including where consent is not possible (drunk/drugged/unconscious/brainwashed/not mentally competent etc).
In re: BDSM - all's fine in a game, but if you are considering doing anything like it IRL, find someone who knows what they're doing. Research - both the parts of BDSM you're interested in and the people with whom you'll be interacting. As a new sub NEVER meet with an unknown Top or Dom(me) one-on-one for your first interaction. There are a lot of abusive assholes who like to play the "experienced Dom(me)" card in online forums just to get subs who don't know any better into their abusive little playground.
Above all, understand SSC - (Safe, Sane, Consensual) and make sure the people you are interacting with do as well.
SSC links:
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<- REALLY good points on Emotional safety as well
There is another acronym as well: RACK (Risk-Aware Consensual Kink) - it has been my experience that the people that prefer that term fall into one of three categories:
- New to middling-new BDSM players who are pedants that don't understand the Safe part of SSC - "But, using a flogger is inherently not Safe, therefore..." Ignore them.
- Experienced participants who are into "edge" play: breath control, blood play, etc. Until you are completely comfortable with your own experience and trust them with your life (as a sub) or trust yourself with their life (as a Dom[me]) you should really stay away from the edges. so to speak.
- The same abusive assholes who prey on new subs.
You may have had interactions with other types who prefer RACK to SSC, but those have been my experiences.
Also, look around for BDSM groups in your area. They will often do monthly "munches" - where they all get together just as a sort of meet and greet with prospective new members. Again: research. Are they doing classes for newbies? Are their classes limited to "how to be a good slave" or do they go into the important shit? First Aid, emotional trauma response, after-care, prevention of cross-contamination, proper use of safety equipment (including the simple shit, like how to properly remove latex gloves without getting body fluids on your hands), and so on. I was a member of a group like this in [the state in which I previously resided] and it was great. Every new person who came to a meeting came to the next, and the next and so on. It really felt like a big, happy family (that did kinky stuff to each other on the weekends).