VN Ren'Py Abandoned In It Together [v0.1] [Reaper Entertainment]

[ItsKindaComplicated]

All the Dev needs to add to the end of that overview is something along the lines of "Now someone very close from your past comes to stay with you. How close is she? That's up to you." It would make all the difference in the world to a game description like this one.

 

[HansDampf788]

A non-descript overview, bad-looking models, and no future tags. I think I'll pass on this one.

 

[Pidgeons]

I for one welcome our new big-tittie-big-booty overlords.

 

[datram]

Tôi vừa tải xuống và trò chơi bị lỗi:

Tôi xin lỗi, nhưng đã xảy ra một ngoại lệ không đáng có.

Trong khi chạy mã trò chơi:
Tệp "game / script.rpy", dòng 379, trong script
mc "Athena, bình thường tôi sẽ không đưa ra những nhận xét như vậy. Đặc biệt là về [người bạn chung phòng] nhỏ của tôi. Nhưng làm thế nào mà bộ ngực của bạn thậm chí còn lớn hơn từ khi tôi rời đi để thay đổi đến bây giờ?"
KeyError: u'roommie '

- Traceback đầy đủ ---------------------------------------------- --------------

Theo dõi đầy đủ:
Tệp "game / script.rpy", dòng 379, trong script
mc "Athena, bình thường tôi sẽ không đưa ra những nhận xét như vậy. Đặc biệt là về [người bạn chung phòng] nhỏ của tôi. Nhưng làm thế nào mà bộ ngực của bạn thậm chí còn lớn hơn từ khi tôi rời đi để thay đổi đến bây giờ?"
Tệp "renpy / ast.py", dòng 721, đang được thực thi
renpy.exports.say (ai, cái gì, * args, ** kwargs)
Tệp "renpy / export.py", dòng 1419, nói cách khác
ai (cái gì, * args, ** kwargs)
Tệp "renpy / character.py", dòng 1236, trong __call__
what = self.prefix_suffix ("cái gì", self.what_prefix, cái gì, self.what_suffix)
Tệp "renpy / character.py", dòng 1155, trong prefix_suffix
return (sub (tiền tố) + sub (body) + sub (hậu tố))
Tệp "renpy / character.py", dòng 1135, trong phụ
return renpy.substitutions.substitution (s, scope = scope, force = force, translate = translate) [0]
Tệp "renpy / substitutions.py", dòng 270, thay thế
s = formatter.vformat (s, (), kwargs)
Tệp "/home/tom/ab/renpy-build/tmp/install.linux-x86_64/lib/python2.7/string.py", dòng 563, ở dạng vformat
Tệp "/home/tom/ab/renpy-build/tmp/install.linux-x86_64/lib/python2.7/string.py", dòng 585, trong _vformat
Tệp "/home/tom/ab/renpy-build/tmp/install.linux-x86_64/lib/python2.7/string.py", dòng 646, trong get_field
Tệp "/home/tom/ab/renpy-build/tmp/install.linux-x86_64/lib/python2.7/string.py", dòng 605, trong get_value
KeyError: u'roommie '

Windows-10-10.0.19041
Ren'Py 7.4.11.2266

Thứ sáu ngày 24 tháng 6 20:08:56 2022

 

[rahkshi01]

I love the look of the girl but what exactly is this game about? A company, a game dev? The matrix, considering that banner pic?

 

[iC4v3M4n]

Yeah....

Spoiler

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How they managed an error in a demo this small and without a single choice is beyond me and i'm not gonna get into the proportion discussion but let's just say this one is gonna be a pass for me

 

[xmilteach]

thx

 

[DeUglyOne]

Yeah....
...
mc "Athena, normally I wouldn't make such comments. Especially about my little [roommie]. But how'd did your breasts get even bigger from the time I left to get changed to now?"
...

How they managed an error in a demo this small and without a single choice is beyond me and i'm not gonna get into the proportion discussion but let's just say this one is gonna be a pass for me

I think it's just the engine puking itself over that ridiculous dialogue.

 

[Old Man Al]

Monstergirl-tag is missing, because clearly there are no human females in there.

On a more serious note:
Just played it through and at least the english is good.
BUT
ok, I get it, it's a sneak peak - but there isn't REALLY much going on and what IS going on feels rushed. Also the story - until now - is pretty uninspired... well in my eyes. Maybe I check the next release, but I won't hold my breath.
Good luck, dev.

 

[Jarod Russell]

This would the the perfect title for a different genre of game. They would just have to capitalize the last letters in the words instead of the first and the community would be in an uproar.

"iN iT togetheR"

 

[AlBetGam]

Mother of wish fulfillment, that overview...

Makes me think of an old joke I read about how come there's so many books about balding middle-aged writers contemplating adultery with beautiful coeds.

 

[WOOPSINATOR]

please for the love of all that is good and proportional trim that female ass. Slenderfy it other wise it is just disgusting and sickening. Good game and all but the proportional size are just undesirable and bad. Well in my humble opinion.
Well Dev its your game so do what you want. am very tired of seeing over size attrablute in the art work.

Your opinion doesn't come off as humble, but you're still welcome to it.
While I agree to some extent that the LIs' measurements are unnatural and indeed, to some extent, unrealistic, might I remind you that:
A) This is a work of fiction, and therefore not beholden to the laws of nature.
and
B) Bimbos and plastic surgery exist. While it's not everyone's ideal, some prefer body types like this.

Just remember, everyone has their own tastes and most often first-time devs will make the game the way they want and not pander to the masses. I know you already basically said "you do you, Dev" but it kind of came across as "No offense, but <something subjectively offensive>". Putting your opinion out there isn't bad, but only saying what you don't like doesn't tell anyone what you do like, so what's the point?

Perhaps you might offer some constructive criticism and words of encouragement to someone who submitted their creative piece for review at the risk of harsh criticism from others instead of simply saying it's "disgusting and sickening" or "undesirable and bad". For example, you could tell the dev that the unrealistic Bust-Waist-Hips ratio break immersion for you, or you could comment on the story and how that could be improved. Maybe you could even just go with the generic "Looks interesting. Good luck Dev", but either way, there's no need for a post with all negativity, no constructive feedback or suggestions, and no encouragement. That doesn't help anyone. On that note...

I have some advice for the dev.

1) A first time Indie game developer topping AAA charts is a nice dream, but too unrealistic, it shatters suspense of disbelief. Perhaps he has previous experience or maybe he had partners/been bought out by a big production company?

2) If the MC just now became an overnight millionaire from his game becoming a success, why is he already living in a mansion? Either include a plausible backstory as to why he's already so well off (this was a passion project or a hobby that paid off) or set the timeline of his success a little further in the past to give him time to have bought such a magnificent home.

3) It seems like English isn't your team's first language and that's fine, but if your target audience is an English-speaking majority you would do well to either get an English proofreader or write the game in your native tongue and get an English translator on board. While the writing is legible, it also isn't very grammatically correct. There are many incongruities that detract from the overall quality of the writing, breaking immersion and distracting from the story. Quality writing is as important, if not more so, for a VN as the renders. A picture may paint a thousand words, but they are all subjective to the viewer. Words are concrete and paint a direct picture of the situation. Both of them working in harmony is what makes a VN such a great artistic medium.

All in all I would say that this demo is short, but has promise if the dev can make some improvements going forward.
The story has a good premise overall, but many of the finer details don't fit or are contradictory, as if several people came up with ideas, threw them in a hat and pulled them at random, then someone else wrote them all down without tying them together. I would suggest trying to get a clear idea of who the MC is going forward. What are his goals and personality like? How does that affect how he interacts with other characters? Once you answer those questions and make sure everything is consistent along those lines you'll have a much better, well-rounded story.

TL;DR?
1)Improve English.
2)Improve continuity.
3)Make it believable. Even fantasy needs a basis in reality.

Best of Luck reaperentertainment !

 

[reaperentertainment]

Thank you all for the comments and suggestions. As I'm not in control of the thread yet there for I can't change anything.
I'm in the process of requesting it. Once I do the planned tags will be added. With this said I didn't write the overview.
If anyone wants to come to talk about the future of the game. You can find me in the discord.

but yes. Incest, blackmail, missionary, anal, and more tags will be added.

 

[melovya]

i like it, will definitely be waiting for new updates.

 

[Chimba]

The last few years have been a mix of horrible anxiety, stress with a side of long work nights, short sleep hours and no social life.
Thankfully I was able to find a group of people who were willing to help finance my game.
My first indie game was released.
Within the months that followed, the game topped all major game charts.

lol, I'm not going to lie for a moment I thought it was the "dev notes" in the overview ...(it doesn't really give much information about the game)

Dev, it would be appreciated if you could add the list of planned tags in "genre spoiler" and maybe some info in "dev notes" if the fetishes are avoidable (they don't happen according to player choices) or skippable (the scene happens in the story but the player avoid seeing her)

Anyways good luck.

 

[reaperentertainment]

View attachment 1888229

lol, I'm not going to lie for a moment I thought it was the "dev notes" in the overview ...(it doesn't really give much information about the game)

Dev, it would be appreciated if you could add the list of planned tags in "genre spoiler" and maybe some info in "dev notes" if the fetishes are avoidable (they don't happen according to player choices) or skippable (the scene happens in the story but the player avoid seeing her)

Anyways good luck.

Thank you for the suggestions. At the moment I don't have access to edit the thread. I didn't write the overview. When I get access everything will be added.

 

[gregers]

please for the love of all that is good and proportional trim that female ass. Slenderfy it other wise it is just disgusting and sickening. Good game and all but the proportional size are just undesirable and bad. Well in my humble opinion.
Well Dev its your game so do what you want. am very tired of seeing over size attrablute in the art work.

Don't fear the booty. The booty is your friend.

Those balloon tits on the other hand ...

 

[reaperentertainment]

To everyone. As this is only a demo the content is subject to change. I wanted to put this out there to get people's general thoughts. I agree the balloon tits are a bit much. But it's a good basis to start off with. With that said. Both Gina and Athena models have already been updated and they will be in the official release.

Some of the tags that will be added are Male mc. Blackmail, Incest, Choices, Corruption, Anal, missionary, for right now. Other sexual kinks will be added in future updates. As more content is added more tags will be added as well.

As for the overview that will be updated as well.

If anyone has any questions. suggestions, etc.
Feel free to drop by.

You must be registered to see the links

 

[BaasB]

To everyone. As this is only a demo the content is subject to change. I wanted to put this out there to get people's general thoughts. I agree the balloon tits are a bit much. But it's a good basis to start off with. With that said. Both Gina and Athena models have already been updated and they will be in the official release.

Some of the tags that will be added are Male mc. Blackmail, Incest, Choices, Corruption Anal, missionary, for right now. Other sexual kinks will be added in future updates. As more content is added more tags will be added as well.

As for the overview that will be updated as well.

If anyone has any questions. suggestions, etc.
Feel free to drop by.

You must be registered to see the links

Corruption Anal

 

[rKnight]

The last few years have been a mix of horrible anxiety, stress, short sleep hours and no social life.

MC: "I've always wanted to romance a BLOW UP DOLL."

Corruption Anal