Ren'Py Completed iNSight of you [v1.0] [AdventAnyx]

[Scy7he]

Now then AdventAnyx. It's time for some real feedback.

I played the game and I enjoyed it. I like the fetishes present, and I like the fact that it has a clear arc to it. So I wanted to give some thoughts here.

I think, and feedback from other people is all saying this, that you have fundamentally misunderstood your own merits as a creator. Weird thing to say. I know. But, the reason why is this:

The content with Ester is a lot better then the content with Gloria, but your intended focus is Gloria

This is clearly designed as a good, ol' fashion moral degeneration corruption game about breaking a bitchy boss. Gradually expanding tiers of extreme material. All that stuff. Only, I think her segments are really mediocre.

I can probably give you a whole essay on what I think you're doing wrong here, but if I had to boil it down it's that Gloria is too cartoonish to be properly detestable. Moral Degeneration and humiliation are drawn from the psychology of the charachter and if the character's psychology is very simplistic then your room for a long arc is weak.

I actually think your quote from above explains why.

"There's no "plot that is about MC and his girls and their goals", there's a set of kinks that I want to show and the "plot" is just to tie this shit together. "

See, a short moral corruption arc (the length of a hentai 20 pager) is pretty easy to do regardless of context. But, if you want to do a long slow drawn out moral degredation that really breaks down who a person is at a fundamental level, you have to be really intirested in and invested in the charachter as charachter. So all of that plot and high minded writing stuff becomes really needed, because you have to be doing hardcore charachter work.

But, then comes the weird part.

Ester Works.

Well not entirely. I actually think her introduction is kinda weak. But, it seems that accidentally, and against your own will, you stumbled on something that does work. And I can explain why.

Namely, Ester and the MC have chemistry.

As you said, the MC is an actual charachter with a personality and distinct styles of speach. One of the benefits of that it allows an H-game protaganist more room to interact and have dynamics with charachters. And Ester seems like someone who'd kind of like him. They have similair cultural touch stones, a partnership style mentality with each other, and a good rapport between them. But, also they have a good sexual chemistry in that it's implied that he sees her inner slut in a way that's repressed socially by her father and school position.

It is at times, and I am not kidding, slightly romantic. Or at the least it is remenscient of the kind of moments I've had in the past with girlfriends I felt chemistry with.

Maya is actually less good then Ester on this front, but benefits from lots of time just spent talking to the MC. She also benefits a lot from having a clearer arc then Ester and from her interactions with Ester in general.

But, compare that to Gloria. Her rapport with the MC is very bland. They don't have a long personal history, outside of him dominating her or her yelling at him they don't have a lot to talk about. There's some hints at a competative of element of their dynamic, but it's sleight.

But, yeah. I think you might just have to face facts here. You did a really good job with Ester and Gloria is more "decent but not great".

ngl...one of the main reason why I still like to play the game is coz of the dynamic of MC and Ester.......I really find it enjoying...feels comedic and romantic at the same time (which makes me tend to not care about Gloria at all...that's why I'm kinda ok with her suffering in game without it ticking me as weird as that might sound)...so much so that I would say their interaction are ones I focus more on than the sex scenes...which you know....is the main focus of a h-game (not fully true but you know what I mean)

 

[T51bwinterized]

ngl...one of the main reason why I still like to play the game is coz of the dynamic of MC and Ester.......I really find it enjoying...feels comedic and romantic t the same time...so much so that I would say their interaction are ones I focus more on than the sex scenes...which you know....is the main focus of a h-game (not fully true but you know what I mean)

Well, I would hasten to add, I think that lots of the sex scenes with Ester and Maya actually work a lot better then the sex scenes with Gloria. It's nothing in the scenes themselves. In fact, the sex scenes with them are actually much blander and less creative in content.

It's just that as an audience we like Ester and Maya and are invested in their interactions with the MC.

So, our enjoyment of the sex scenes with them is enhanced by and informed by the fact that it comes from a more intiresting place romantically and in terms of sexual chemistry.

 

[T51bwinterized]

...Damn Three Posts, I'm really going hog wild here.

So, you accidentally made your romantic interest more fun and engaging than the intended main focus of the game? What do you do about it?

This is what I like to call "a fake problem". When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.

Regarding Gloria: You're kinda too late here too really do a lot to fix the issues with Gloria here, barring a substantial rewrite of game materials. Besides, her stuff is engaging enough. I'd say all it really needs is some supplementation.

Namely, you are in desperate need of more scenes of Gloria and the MC just interacting. Probably at all stages. So you can see her tension in conversation with him early. But, then later on when she's his slave. What is their dynamic like? What is the tension like? Does she start to like him in a strange way? Does she remain entirely hostile to him?

Regarding Ester: I actually think you've kind of gotten a grasp already on what you need to do here, but I can expand on it a bit more. If you want to make a Domination and Orgasm Control based game, but everyone keeps praising the vanilla romance, just make the romance have more elements of Orgasm Control and Domination.

I've only played the Harem route, but I actually really like the introduction of domination mechanics with Ester.

It makes perfect sense for her and Maya to be subs with the MC, and I actually think the introduction of the control chips within the context of a more posative dynamic and with more chemistry is a good addition.

What I would do in your place is use the oppertunity to expand the mechanics and story content focusing on Ester and Maya and how they respond to and navigate the control chip/their relationship with the MC.

In practical terms:

- The scene where "Good Girl" points is introduced is good, but it felt like it rushed over the most important part. The MC using the chips on the girls. You could improve the game by introducing a scene right after where the MC sits down with Maya and Ester and we see him introduce (or Re-introduce for Ester) the chips. Perhaps demonstrate the diffrence from his dynamic with Gloria by giving them a chance to consent.

Purpose: Emphasize the change in relationship to one where he has more power. Emphasize the distinction of the consensual domination relationship he has with them from his coercion based relationship to Gloria.

- I, and a lot of folks, really like the "objective" scenes where the MC is in bed with Ester and just talking about what's going on in the plot. I suggest you put more for the post-promotion content, perhaps with more of the new D/s elements there. Maybe do some of them for Maya too?

Purpose: Bring back a popular element of the early game, but infuse it with a bit more kinkyness. Also gives the MC and Maya more room for Chemistry Building.

- Could use a few fun side scenes, like the MC testing some of the chip's functions on Ester and Maya. I think the scene at the start where he tests denial on Ester is a lot of fun, and you can do more with that. Perhaps events at NOUMA where he can give them a chance to test chip functions for Good Girl Points.

Purpose: Gives you room to produce a wider scene variety for them. Gives the player more shit to do at NOUMA. Lets you make scenes with a diffrent flavor from the ones with Gloria. It would be funny to make Ester a masochist for an hour.

- Personal take. You can include both Domination and Romantic elements by having him do some kind of "claiming" type thing. Giving them some kind of "Collar" is a good option. Perhaps in the finale?

Purpose: A nice cute romantic element that is still kinky. Puts a nice capstone on their strange relationship.

- Making sure that you don't focus the Endings of the Game too much on Gloria to the exclusion of Maya/Ester. Give them a proper climatic conflict with multiple resolutions too. Perhaps something involving Ester's family?

Purpose: Ensures that the finale of the game (the most dramatic moment) has a proper focus on the most popular element of the game.

Final Tip:

Maybe try to lean into it, and for your next game focus it on a pairing more like Ester and the MC. Kinky, Sultry, too weirdos who get along. Maybe a Moral Degeneration Romance Story. Could be fun.

 

[struzi]

AdventAnyx Please keep the game as is. It is perfect. I love the fact that the MC is corrupting and degrading every girl with the goal of pimping them out. I hope there will be more challenges for Gloria like degrading her in front of/pimping her out to some rival of hers or someone she hates. Her dress is awesome and i hope for more risque outfits, tattoos, piercings in the future and hopefully for the other girls as well? If Esther gets blackmailed by a 3rd party or pimped out by MC would be AWESOME too. Keep up the good work and dont take any critique here to heart as fetishes is the most individuall thing there is and there is no point in trying to make everyone happy! cheers!

 

[Armstrong]

Good story, so far. It's nice that you can pick route for Maya. You either help her with a "problem" you caused or let her find solution on her own.

I hope that Esther stays like she is. No one allowed to touch her except MC or Chester will come for your life.

 

[SpartaKus57]

nobody have full save and password cheat pls ?! ^^

 

[DLSmaster]

Ello can anyone in here please tells me, what is the code(c)/PWs in the game?

I have beaten it plenty of times, but it never gave me any of them after that, I don't know if that is a bug or not, I even tried on manny new saves as well to and gotten the same results back.

 

[rionyamato]

Great game. I really like the bond between Esther and MC. I say do what you want with your game and have fun with it, you are never gonna please everybody anyway.

 

[taler]

Chapter 1 was fantastic 10/10 then the "gameplay" aka clicking the same buttons over and over starts and everything goes to shitty grind. Whyyyyy. This had so much potential.

 

[AdventAnyx]

Dog, I hate to tell you this. But, developer to developer you will never be free of this shit. There is just a very vocal portion of the H-game audience who feel especially strongly about this. A few notes:
...
My advice is to learn to deal with it without getting mad. It's hard to do, because as a developer, you want more meaningful feedback. In future projects, you should try to ensure that the reasonable ones who want it optional can get what they want, but be ready to ignore the ones who are mad it's optional.

Hey. First of all, I really appreciate this much detailed feedback. It's so rare... Thanks for taking the time to write it.

I don't get mad at overly aggressive "vanilla-boys", I find them hilarious. I was called "cock-sniffing asian cuck" on another site and it made my day. In this case, this was not aggressive but kinda...touchingly sad, that's why I produced a wall of text.

...
Gloria is too cartoonish to be properly detestable
...

See, a short moral corruption arc (the length of a hentai 20 pager) is pretty easy to do regardless of context. But, if you want to do a long slow drawn out moral degredation that really breaks down who a person is at a fundamental level, you have to be really intirested in and invested in the charachter as charachter. So all of that plot and high minded writing stuff becomes really needed, because you have to be doing hardcore charachter work.

Yeah... Guilty.
When I started making the game I was overwhelmed: zero knowledge in photoshop, zero experience in coding, couldn't make HS studio to run properly with mods, and so on and so forth at every front.
That's why when it came down to "inventing the plot" I said to myself: "It's too much of everything already. Maybe you won't be able to even start this shit. It's a porn game plot! Start with something and invent it as you move on".
There was never a script or a long enough thinking process. I just wanted to make a game about "the chip", behavior modification, and humiliating a tough bitchy type of woman. Very vague.

But, then comes the weird part.
Ester Works.
Well not entirely. I actually think her introduction is kinda weak. But, it seems that accidentally, and against your own will, you stumbled on something that does work. And I can explain why.

This is a direct hit. I have no idea how did I manage to put the "gf experience" into a fucking moral degradation story.
I had to start the "plot" somewhere, and when I was done with the 1st chapter and looked back at it I was like: "What the actual fuck?! Why am I creating cute relationships as a side-story?" It's like... Maybe "there's still light in me" kinda thing, lol

Maya is actually less good then Ester on this front, but benefits from lots of time just spent talking to the MC. She also benefits a lot from having a clearer arc then Ester and from her interactions with Ester in general.

Maya came in as a "here's a shy virgin character, guys, enjoy". Then I had finally found my inner demon and introduced the slut route for her. As a plus side, I figured I could do the "she's into her best friend" as an alternative.

But, compare that to Gloria. Her rapport with the MC is very bland. They don't have a long personal history, outside of him dominating her or her yelling at him they don't have a lot to talk about. There's some hints at a competative of element of their dynamic, but it's sleight.

That's what "not thinking about the lore in a porn game" leads to. Sam should be terrorized by Gloria before for this trope to feel better, maybe as a worker under her for years. But it is what it is...

So, you accidentally made your romantic interest more fun and engaging than the intended main focus of the game? What do you do about it?
This is what I like to call "a fake problem". When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.

I mean... Squeezing lemons and making lemonade is fun from time to time, but I love making a juicy barbeque more. Even when I'm bad at it. If you know what I mean.

Suggestions

Thanks. I really appreciate them. Means I did at least something right for you to care enough to write this, and in detail.

Final Tip:
Maybe try to lean into it, and for your next game focus it on a pairing more like Ester and the MC. Kinky, Sultry, too weirdos who get along. Maybe a Moral Degeneration Romance Story. Could be fun.

It's closer to cuckolding I guess? In my books, moral degeneration goes into gang-bangs at some point.
This is harder to explain, but even though I like "cheating girl" scenarios, I'm not into cuckolding. The focus is on the "woman vs cock vs her moral compass" where she's in a losing battle vs cock. A soon as her boyfriend/husband/childhood-friend/son/brother knows and starts enjoying it, this whole thing loses my interest. Just my personal take.

But anyway. Thanks again!

 

[Shirouste]

I've found a real diamond when I tried this game. Oh god this is good, not enough game like this out there. I was only focus on Gloria at first, since I started this game for the blackmail/domination/humiliation part, but the slut route of Maya was surprisingly super hot !! And for Esther, she is super cute !!! but I'm not playing this game for loving/romance/friendship so I tend to skip her scenes.

The only major flaw of this game is.... the hairs on Gloria's armpit. It nearly killed everything, but I decided this game was too good and manage to ignore it (somehow). Would be awesome to have the possibility to remove it.

Thank you for this awesome game

 

[AdventAnyx]

The only major flaw of this game is.... the hairs on Gloria's armpit. It nearly killed everything, but I decided this game was too good and manage to ignore it (somehow). Would be awesome to have the possibility to remove it.

Thank you for this awesome game

Thanks
...
This is the second time I've got a strong "hair-hate" comment.
If only you guys knew how bad things could really be...

Spoiler

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Jokes aside though, this was meant to show just how "far from sex-life" Gloria really is. To then transfer into her cute heart-shaped pubes and other decorations when she's more "corrupt".

 

[T51bwinterized]

Hey. First of all, I really appreciate this much detailed feedback. It's so rare... Thanks for taking the time to write it.

I don't get mad at overly aggressive "vanilla-boys", I find them hilarious. I was called "cock-sniffing asian cuck" on another site and it made my day. In this case, this was not aggressive but kinda...touchingly sad, that's why I produced a wall of text.

Yeah... Guilty.
When I started making the game I was overwhelmed: zero knowledge in photoshop, zero experience in coding, couldn't make HS studio to run properly with mods, and so on and so forth at every front.
That's why when it came down to "inventing the plot" I said to myself: "It's too much of everything already. Maybe you won't be able to even start this shit. It's a porn game plot! Start with something and invent it as you move on".
There was never a script or a long enough thinking process. I just wanted to make a game about "the chip", behavior modification, and humiliating a tough bitchy type of woman. Very vague.


This is a direct hit. I have no idea how did I manage to put the "gf experience" into a fucking moral degradation story.
I had to start the "plot" somewhere, and when I was done with the 1st chapter and looked back at it I was like: "What the actual fuck?! Why am I creating cute relationships as a side-story?" It's like... Maybe "there's still light in me" kinda thing, lol

Maya came in as a "here's a shy virgin character, guys, enjoy". Then I had finally found my inner demon and introduced the slut route for her. As a plus side, I figured I could do the "she's into her best friend" as an alternative.

That's what "not thinking about the lore in a porn game" leads to. Sam should be terrorized by Gloria before for this trope to feel better, maybe as a worker under her for years. But it is what it is...

I mean... Squeezing lemons and making lemonade is fun from time to time, but I love making a juicy barbeque more. Even when I'm bad at it. If you know what I mean.

Thanks. I really appreciate them. Means I did at least something right for you to care enough to write this, and in detail.

It's closer to cuckolding I guess? In my books, moral degeneration goes into gang-bangs at some point.
This is harder to explain, but even though I like "cheating girl" scenarios, I'm not into cuckolding. The focus is on the "woman vs cock vs her moral compass" where she's in a losing battle vs cock. A soon as her boyfriend/husband/childhood-friend/son/brother knows and starts enjoying it, this whole thing loses my interest. Just my personal take.

But anyway. Thanks again!

Well, by my final tip all I meant was that you should do a corruption type story where the corruptor and the slut-to-be have stuff in common and chemistry with one another. A simple example might be one where the girl is in a status that would preclude a relationship, so the MC goes about corrupting her into his slut so that she loses her status. And he can have her.

Simple Example of the type of story: Geeky guy finds out the most popular girl in school is secretly buying hentai. They talk and it's quickly revealed she'd hiding a lot of nerdy and lewd hobbies. But, back in school, he learns she won't even speak to him and that it was a one time thing. So, using the same mind break hentai he saw her buy as a guide, blackmails her into doing sexual acts. She recognizes the hentai, but insists (nervously) such a thing could never work and he could never *actually* make her into a cock addicted slave.

Fast Forward Fast Forward. It's the final day of her slave training and she seems to have held out against both the lewd training and the nerdy shit he's made her do together. He arrives in school the next day and she's still ignoring him but looking away shyly whenever he is close...only for at the end of the day she arrives at his house in a collar and gives up and agrees to be his girlfriend/cumdump. Epilogue where people are now talking about her behind her back, and we see her sitting at the slimy geek's table wearing her collar and with a remote vibrator under her skirt.

See? Romance moral degeneration story.

 

[KuroKumo]

First of all, I'd like to say that this is a wonderful game. Secondly, I like the whole idea about the insight chips. Third, how do I make her not pissed to take her for a walk? And last but not least, where can I see her endurance?

 

[SpartaKus57]

AdventAnyx if you don't know look MR.c game CORRUPTION !!! they have a lot of lewd / hot stuff <3 <3

 

[AdventAnyx]

Well, by my final tip all I meant was that you should do a corruption type story where the corruptor and the slut-to-be have stuff in common and chemistry with one another. A simple example might be one where the girl is in a status that would preclude a relationship, so the MC goes about corrupting her into his slut so that she loses her status. And he can have her.

Still on the subject of lemons and barbecues. The implication I'm getting from your response is that you aren't really interested in expanding the Ester stuff? If so that really would be a shame.

Esther (and Maya) will get more events. But my main focus right now is to move forward with the main dish.
I want to "finish" the game one day. After that, I could spend however much time I want to add different kinks and events for every character. Kinda do an "Extended version". I just don't want to burn out doing lovey stuff (and I admit that I enjoy doing degenerate content for Gloria more) until I finish the main course.

 

[T51bwinterized]

Damn you replied to the original version while I wrote out an example of what I meant.

 

[AdventAnyx]

Damn you replied to the original version while I wrote out an example of what I meant.

It's fine, I read that too.
Maybe one day... But I have so much stuff to do with my current game that I doubt I'll be free of it in the next year.

 

[T51bwinterized]

Are you adding girls to this one?

 

[AdventAnyx]

First of all, I'd like to say that this is a wonderful game. Secondly, I like the whole idea about the insight chips. Third, how do I make her not pissed to take her for a walk? And last but not least, where can I see her endurance?

Thanks.
If you read her "End of day" report carefully, you'll see the line about her being pissed and for how many days. Either wait or (if she'd constantly having them) - check if she's assigned to Walters or let her cum or something.
Her Endurance is in the "multi-orgasm" buff tooltip (hover over).